Crying? Need theraphy? No answers from SD
Over my kid/skid weekend, SD11 turned on the waterworks again. I'm not surprised by it, DH is. First off SD9 and SD11 didn't even get to our house until around 2 pm on saturday, SD9 had softball. OK, DH decided to work until 12, then he could be home when they got there.
That was fine by me and mine, we watched tv, relaxed and spent half the day in peace. I wrote about my feelings on some other things over the weekend, to get them off my chest, so to say.
SD11 was pouting again. I asked DH if he had addressed the issue I spoke to him about with her. DH thought I meant leaving her medicine in a bag where my 18mo old could drag it off the table. Well that could be one of them but I moved the bag and am diligent in watching OUR baby.
SD11 told my BD10 that she wanted her mommy and daddy back together again, so she wouldn't be in trouble all the time and everything would be perfect. Yeah OK....delisional much.
So DH said here she comes (SD11 storming back in the house because SD9 and BD10 dared to go outside where she was pouting)so we can address it right now. Whatever kid, get over yourself.
As SD11 storms past everyone in the dining area/living room, DH says "hey where you going". SD11 answers "anywhere BD10 and SD9 aren't". What a rude little girl she is.
DH told her to sit down and asked what her problem was. SD11 sat there for 2 seconds and dh asked again, SD11 didn't even look at dh, then the waterworks started.
Oh boy this kid cries more than our baby. DH said "what is wrong and why are you crying". SD11 said she was upset because "BD10 took a purse from her that BD10 gave SD11 on her birthday" (not true, BD10 didn't give it to her).
So BD10 and SD9 were on their way in. DH asked them "what's her (sd11)'s problem". SD9 said "because we don't want to do what she wants, she's whining". Wow kid, I kind of liked that one. BD10 said "she says my purse is hers and it isn't, I let her borrow it, now she thinks it's hers". DH says what purse. Well come to find out it was my old vera bradley I gave BD10.
SD9 even said that BD10 didn't give it to her and it wasn't SD11's, that BD10 let her play with it. DH asked "why are you crying over that? You are almost 12, and you are crying like a 2 year old over someone else's stuff". Wow, I couldn't believe DH said that, I was in awe. He actually parented his kid.
So since it was a problem and BD10 brought out the purse to show DH (dh knew it was mine and I'd given it to BD10). I stepped in and told my kid BD10, go put it in my room, now no one has it. Done and Done!
SD11 storms off crying. Seriously kid, what is your problem. DH went in the room and so did the other two girls. DH said that SD9 says SD11 cries over everything, if she doesn't get her way all the time. DH asked her what was wrong. SD11's answer, (like always) I don't know why I cry all the time I just do. So DH said he addressed the "bm and dh being back together thing too".
DH told her "your mom and I fought all the time, it was horrible and we aren't ever getting back together". I didn't say anything about what he said to her. I am a little put a back because I think SD11 needs to know, THEY DONT LOVE EACH OTHER ANYMORE. I say that because she seems to think, that if they just didn't fight, everything would be peaches. She also seems to think (by her actions) that if she causes us to fight, he will leave me too.
I have been disengaged from both SDs and they both have driven me nuts. I have to say that SD9 is giving off a glimmer of hope at not being disruptive ON PURPOSE. DH told me in the car, (sds were already gone) that he told his mom (mil) to ask the girls if they like coming to our house and if they liked me.
Well MIL told DH that SD9 said "I love going over there and SM is so nice". I'm standoffish at best but BM seriously dotes on SD11 and her youngest, so SD9 is use to being left out. I'm not rude but I don't engage either SD. SD11 said she liked coming over and me too.
DH asked if either hestiated. MIL said SD9 blurted it out but SD11 hestitated like she was thinking about it. I told him that SD11 was trying to determine if MIL would be mad at her, if she didn't say what she thought MIL wanted her to say.
DH didn't tell BM that he thinks SD11 needs therapy. I told him from my experience and seeing her, being around her, the crying is her way of manipulating BOTH of HER PARENTS, so she isn't disciplined.
I asked dh why he would tell SD11 that if he didn't believe in therapy. He said so they can find out why she is crying, they won't be able to help her not cry. I was like really. Ummm I think anyone who is around her for a few months, will tell you its to get attention, even SD9 says that's what it is.
But anyways, Does anyone else's Skid at 11 almost 12 cry, if they don't get their way, pout and just have an overall shitty attitude. I know being preteens, they all have sucky attitudes, BD10 does sometimes and I do have a teenager, BS13stb14. But I can talk to my kids and tell them that their attitudes suck.
BD10 still cries but BS13 will just go in his room to sort himself out. What's up? Is this moody preteen behavior? manipulation? or both?