I wish we could save SD13 from her BM
Things have been relatively quiet on the home front. This is mostly because I’ve stopped engaging in most things having to do with SD’s and IL’s. I totally removed them from my social media, and I have asked my friends/family not to tell me anything they might see.
DH says he has been occasionally texting SD18 and found out she is seeing her old therapist. Which is interesting because she and BM both told everyone they didn’t like this therapist because they think I was manipulating her. I assume this is because she agreed that SD18 suffers from some pretty serious mental illness and at the time required good boundaries from both parents. This is also the therapist that said she would call CPS if evil MIL was ever left alone with the kids again. This therapist strongly suggested no contact with MIL until she could be accountable for her part in SD’s abuse. I’m really glad to hear she’s seeing this therapist and I hope it helps her.
SD18 has also told DH she was kicked out of her rental house because of a fight between her boyfriend and friend, which means she is now living with BM and SD13. SD18’s boyfriend is 29 years old, has two children with two different women and takes care of neither of him. Since SD18 started dating him she has amped up her use of marijuana and even now sells paraphernalia. We know of the boyfriend through one of our mutual friends who has repeatedly warned us that the man is trouble. BM is allowing boyfriend to stay the night with SD18 and even be at the house alone while SD13 is there doing virtual school. It scares the crap out of me. SD13 reports to DH that the boyfriend is funny and “seems nice” so DH is trying to ignore it (as he often does with difficult things). I’m nervous for SD13 it seems like a terrible situation. It is also really odd to me because SD18’s boyfriend is only 3 years younger than BM’s last boyfriend…so is BM interested in him? Probably not, she won’t date men with children, but it is interesting.
Adding to the drama. BM currently has no car and is borrowing SD18’s (paid for by evil MIL) to get to work and get SD13 to her activities. BM had a leased vehicle. I’m not sure what happened to that vehicle but I know she was a few payments behind last year. She then was driving her stepdad’s minivan. SD13 tells us BM crashed said minivan at 5 am on her way home from working at the bar and did not call the police. It is safe to assume BM was drunk, and btw the bar close at 2am. Again, I’m feeling nervous for SD13 as BM seems to be spiraling into the bottle again, like she has when she was single before.
I encouraged DH to talk to SD13 about not riding with anyone that has been drinking and that she can call us anytime for a ride. I also asked him if he could talk to BM about POS boyfriend spending the night. He feels that would not be helpful and might just create conflict and get SD13 in trouble. He’s probably right about that so here we are! Powerless! I just hope SD13 can discern a bad situation and get herself out of it ☹ nervous and worried.