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Why doesn't my D17 believe me :(

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I’m hurting today.  My D17 shared with her friend all her frustration with me and the breakup of my marriage to toxic POS.  The friend’s mom is a very good friend of mine and shared some of this conversation with me.  D17 is upset because I’ve decided to move in with my boyfriend of over a year this summer.  He has a D16 and she doesn’t think they will get along.  She feels it will be awkward and she’s “not ready”.  Her and I have had several conversations about this, and she has been given ample time to get to know BF’s daughter.  Including two vacations together.  I feel it would be good

Are you thinking of getting out? You is good on the other side

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It's been over a year now since I packed my DH's stuff and he left.  To say I stuggled is an understatement.  I cried so many nights alone on my bathroom floor that I thought I might never go back to good.  He created a successful campaign to discredit me, and I lost all of the friends I had made in the last four years.  It was pain heaped on pain.  I was shocked that my friends chose my alcoholic highly dysfunctional probably sociopathic partner over me.  I went down a terrible rabbit hole of believing I was as bad as he said.


Oh no SD13 is behaving like a brat! Is this the beginning of the end :(

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Oh no SD13 is behaving like a brat!

I’m so disappointed and starting to question who SD13 really is.  I witnessed some terrible behavior from her last night and honestly it isn’t the first time.  I think I’ve just been trying to ignore it.  The behavior is only slightly directed at me and far more subtle than how she behaves to her dad. 

Where can I be safe?

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I’ve been able to dig in and keep my boundaries and remain no contact with SD18.  It hasn’t been easy, DH makes me feel bad about it, but I’ve done it.  DH has only seen SD18 once (now twice) since I went no contact.  I know he is very angry with his daughter about her behavior and his way of dealing with these types of difficult things is to avoid them.  I feel this exacerbates the problem because now SD18 feels I’m taking her father away when the truth is he doesn’t want to deal with her either.  She is a manipulative, preditory, kind of scary person who has launched a very effective camp

Update on Am I Asking too much? NO I’M NOT!

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So I ended up digging in on some things with DH.

 I asked that he either confront dysfunctional IL’s or get rid of them on social media and phone.  No movement on this front. 

I asked that he begin to seek counselling specifically for dealing with SD18.  He texted a great therapist we know that specializes in BPD but has yet to make an appointment.  Baby steps but I’ll take it.