I opened the card and let him know the plan
See this blog where I ask if I should open a card that is mostly likely a bunch of nice words with no meat from DH for the financial situation: www.steptalk.org/node/220171
This is the summary of what happened:
DH contacted me that he was almost back in town via text, so responded that he should meet me at X time at the bank. He didn't respond. (I asked him when he left to let me know when he was back so we could go to the bank to fix things.) I'm at the end of my patience and I got no rope left so I went to go get him, 'cause this was happening today.
When I got home I told him we needed to get going, that I had texted him back, and we needed to get there before the bank closed. He asked why so I told him. Calmly, matter-of-factly. Kept him on topic when he tried to go into feely-non-financial areas. Also asked him to name one thing, anything, for which we've shelled out thousands and thousands of dollars for my BS/ExH. (there's been zero)
He also made a comment about how I hadn't talked to him for two days. I told him that was for his protection as I was that mad. But I was calm now. (Deadly calm.)
He asked if I had a plan and I laid it out. He was not happy. I asked if he wanted me to read the card. Yes. I read the card. It was about wanting to try to do better and knowing he's not pulling his weight. Same stuff, different situation. I told him he always says the right things but there's never any action and he should literally be putting his money where his mouth is right now.
I didn't budge on things and got him out the door. We made it and the accounts I needed in just my name are in just my name. I thanked him after we left the bank.
We will discuss the plan in detail tomorrow when the skid is gone. Will I adjust anything? We will see. Right now the magic red wine ball is saying "all signs point to no."
I cannot change him and he can keep trying all he wants. I'll believe it when I see it.
I can change me and what I do, so that's what I'm doing.
What if he had fought it? I would have gotten a lawyer involved. Not for divorce but to force the account resolution.
Oh, and I did tell him this is not my first step out the door, this is me trying to make this come back into balance.