See this blog where I ask if I should open a card that is mostly likely a bunch of nice words with no meat from DH for the financial situation: www.steptalk.org/node/220171
This is the summary of what happened:
So with the financial stuff and a heated "discussion" (I was hot under the collar and did the discussing) with DH. I did some calculations and looked up a few things to figure out how to make this right for me. (See previous blogs where DH makes a decent salary but really can't afford all the latest expenses and it has all been paid because I'm here with my paycheck.)
It came up with DHs lawyer somehow that I have BMs number blocked. She wasn't okay with that, said that I shouldn't block the number. What if there was an emergency? We need to look available.
Well, BM NEVER calls me (thank goodness, she's not as nuts as some but I don't need to be in contact with her) except for maybe once a year if she absolutely has to and usually it's texts and telling me what I'm supposed to be doing with her kids (like if DH is traveling and she's exhausted all other methods of taking care of things...cause I'm not to be trusted remember).
I know DH doesn't believe he sees me that way but it sure seems like I get treated that way quite often. Just because he isn't a jerk about it doesn't mean it's not happening.
He really had no clue how much was spent on the lawyer and GAL. His response was to tell me I supported him and what should he have done, not fought it? That wasn't my point.
My migraines feel like a slow-motion stroke that lasts several hours to a few days (based on wondering if that's what's happening and reading up on strokes). My muscles in my neck, back, and butt are always sore/hurt afterward. I figured out the triggers but the neck and shoulder pain continued. I ended up getting Lidocaine shots a little over a year ago. It was magic. I didn't have any pain or migraines at all.
He sets up stuff with BM. It doesn't go into the calendar app until: he says something about a plan, I am surprised, he gets defensive that he told me/it's in the calendar, I point out its not, and neither are the other bunch of things he mentioned that I didn't know. Not that I have anything I have to do, but it's helpful to plan around for me and BS.
I'm done being the only one who knows what bills there are and how to use online banking. I'm tired of DH calling me in a panic in a checkout line because "my card doesn't work!" You didn't pay attention and you ran down the funds. It's working perfectly.
I guess I don't think that way and it makes no sense to me.
To me love is a feeling but also comprised of respect, friendship, tolerance, and acceptance...and some lust.
I loved my ExH but he did things so that I lost all respect for him as a spouse, we were no longer friends, I could not tolerate his behaviors, and those things combined to kill any lust for him. Do I still respect him? Yes in some areas. Are we friends? Most people would classify it as friendship. We tolerate each other but don't have to tolerate everything. And no, there is no lust.
Wow. Just wow.
DH told me tonight that starting this next school year when OSS is in HS in BMs suburb (17-19 miles from his office and he has one of those have-to-be-there jobs) that he going to have OSS walk to BMs house and he will get picked up from there on DHs nights.
OSS14 goes to his first away camp today! (YSS12 is going later in the summer) This is a big deal because BM is an ninja warrior helicopter overprotector AND got OSS diagnosed with ADD about nine years ago so therefore OSS is incapable of doing things like "normal" kids. She has stunted his confidence and social abilities. YSS on the other hand is her golden child and can and gets to do whatever he wants.