SD refund?
DH and I have been making two deposits a year into our GGkid's savings account for a few years. It is difficult to buy them gifts, as they have anything they need and most of what they want from Grandparents (SD). SD had opened savings for her five Gkids (our GGkids) while she was employed and making regular deposits herself. (SD quit her job and has not made any deposits into the account for the past four years.) Upon DH's request, SD gave us a list of their account numbers so we could deposit on their birthdays and Christmas. This was a very convenient arrangement. We sent a card and included a gift card stating that we had deposited and the amount. They love it too.
This past Christmas, I go to the bank to make their holiday deposit, so I could prepare their Christmas cards; they live out of State. The Teller tells me three of the accounts have been closed by SD (her son's children's accts.) The other two accounts for our SD's GDs were left open. SD has always let it be known these two GDs are her favorite; SD has been at odds for several years with her son, our GS.
I immediately opened three new accounts for our GS's kids, deposited the holiday amount, and deposited into the other two GD's accounts also, as planned. Upon returning home, I ask DH if SD had mentioned closing the accounts; DH stated "No" with a shocked look on his face. I noted that it was SDs business, the account was in her name, but we HAD deposited for a few years and the account was closed. I also told DH I had opened new accounts and we could just go forward; that I was not going to mention it and if he wanted to take it up with SD, it was on him. I didn't want to be involved (I'm totally disengaged from this evil women). I have never mentioned it again and I'm not sure if DH has discussed it with SD to date.
Today the bank statements come in the mail. There has been a "small" deposit, strange off $$$ amount, in one of them only, that was not from us. These accounts have never been mentioned and nobody has any of the numbers; I realize you can deposit by name.
I'm positive this is to let me know that SD knows about the new accounts (2 months later). I think this is funny; I am going to stop by the bank tomorrow, for other business, and ask about the deposit. If SD made this deposit, GOOD DEAL; the accounts are in my name as ownership, with GGkid's names included on each account. I still will never mention the accounts or talk about them; I'm going to act as if I never noticed the deposit. I haven't said anything to DH about the deposit, until I check tomorrow with the bank. If it is not a mistake, which is doubtful, because it shows a transfer from one account to my account (no name, just a number). I'm going to just lay the statements with the other mail, for DH to see, no discussion.
SD is not smart enough to play these games. I'll take her $$$$ any day, for the GGkids. 
SD has made life extremely
SD has made life extremely miserable for her son and his wife (our GS). The SGGkids know everything that is going on with that relationship; they are teens.
Sally, I did let GS know that she closed the accounts for his kids. I thought he should know, because we've always sent notices, when we deposited, and two of the kids are graduating from HS this year; probably expecting the $$$$. GS was very upset, but agreed the thing to do is wait and see what happens at graduation. GS thinks SD deposited the $$$ into the SGGD's accounts; GS even said he knows they are SD's favorites. DH knows all of this mess too; which I am letting him find out on his own, what a prize his precious DD really has become.
I detest SD for all the hate and discontent that she has caused in DH's family and with our marriage. I can't believe she has caused all these hard feelings with her own son (her first marriage). SGD30 is SD's from her fourth marriage and SD favors SGD30 over SGS37. Why do people favor one child over another?
I only want SD and her DH to move from our town and we don't have to deal with this every day drama. I am still going to ignore; because she is trying to stir more drama; I think she gets bored, she isn't working right now; or she isn't taking her hormone pills. SD is between many jobs that she gets and quits.
GS has agreed to ignore too and not bring any more drama into their house. He has told his kids (teens). GS told his kids it was between themselves and their Grandma (SD).
The accounts I have set up are for their "First Home". It will take some time to build it all back up.
GS has a good education, a
GS has a good education, a great job, a beautiful family, a very nice home, and loves life. I feel very sorry for GS and the treatment he gets from SD and her DH. He has disengaged from them and he and his family move forward with class. He is a very loving and caring person.
I know it's two things: (1) Control and (2) Jealousy. DH's family is very controlling and seem to be jealous of relationships anyone else has; it includes friends, family, or acquaintances.
It's always seemed strange to me; but I finally pulled my head out of the sand this past couple of years and started paying more attention to the reason for all of the drama. I have also disengaged from it all, including DH and SD's games. It has changed DH and my marriage and relationship; we basically have no marriage or relationship, because of SD. SD can do no wrong and she is perfect.
I am DH's care giver, my choice, because he is disabled and I want to take care of him. I have lost respect, lots of love, and I don't trust DH. But our relationship is calm, now that I have set boundaries and disengaged from SD. This is why I won't respond to this savings account drama; which is what SD wants.
SD hates the idea that DH and I are continuing our marriage. Of course SD nor anyone else knows how my feelings have changed. I am not phony, I just take it one day at a time. We have been married 36 years and I refuse to start all over again at my age (69). I have too much invested and I won't give it up to SD. I move forward and look at the whole mess as a change in my life; I've always been able to handle extreme change. So goes the adventure. Thanks for letting me vent; it helps.
I would have my own accounts
I would have my own accounts for all of the grand kids and stop putting money into an account that your SD controls.
I did.
I did.
Right, but you are still
Right, but you are still depositing into the 2 accounts that your SD left open and controls, correct? I would open my own accounts for those GDs, also.
SD does not control the other
SD does not control the other 2 accounts, SGD30 controls her 2 daughter's accounts. Our 2 GGDs are very young and their accounts have a much higher balance then the other 3 GGkid's accounts.
I seriously thought about what you are saying; we'll see if SGD30 leaves the accounts alone. The SGGDs, I am not concerned about, because they are SD's favorites; we don't believe they will ever be left out; that, and I don't want to play SD's games. I had no choice but to open accounts for GS's kids; I want to be fair to all of the gkids.
I don't believe SGD30 wants to answer to her own children in regards to taking their money. They are old enough to know we deposit to their savings. SD has no scruples. SGD30 has too much respect for people in general, even though she is influenced by SD, where I'm concerned. That is another story and I neither care nor give it my time.
Ah, I thought your SD had
Ah, I thought your SD had control of all the accounts. I misunderstood, makes more sense, now!
This woman never stops!
This woman never stops!
Personally, I would never
Personally, I would never deposit money into an account that I did not control. **shrugs shoulders**
People and money are sometimes like oil and water. They do not mix well.
**THIS**
**THIS**
Update: I stopped at the
Update: I stopped at the bank this a.m. and the deposit was a direct deposit (small $$) from State Unemployment Benefits to our GGS16 account. SD is unemployed right now and works a job long enough to collect unemployment for 1 year and then finds a new job; whatever! The other two accounts are GGS18 and GGD18; they will graduate from HS this Spring.
My guess is DH brought up the fact that she closed the accounts out and we had been making regular deposits for all of them. Keep in mind SD closed the accounts in December 2015; these two oldest do not graduate until June 2016. Knowledge of how SD works; she told DH that she closed the accounts for the graduates; don't have any idea her excuse why she would do it six months in advance, or why she closed YGGS16 account.
DH probably expressed he wanted to continue to deposit; therefore, now she is trying to refund YGGS16 the deposits that WE had made. SD probably told DH that the other will go for graduation.
I haven't said a word; DH will see all three bank statements. What I think: SD is playing games and she wants a response from me, NEVER. I didn't expect her to contribute to the accounts anyway, therefore, any deposits are welcome with no reply. This will be on DH.
I'm enjoying the $$$$$ flow for the kids. I think it's a hoot!
Do you think this little
Do you think this little 'gesture' was show you - and mostly DH - that SD is not robbing her children's money after all? See? She's really not as bad as she looks. Now -- don't you feel guilty and just bad all over? I WOULDN'T EITHER! LOL LOL It IS a hoot! LOL LOL Sammigirl, you made my day!!!
I'm glad I could bring a
I'm glad I could bring a smile to your face; I think it's fun to watch this play out. If DH ask me about the deposit; my response "I don't know". I know SD is just trying to make me look like a B@#@h to DH. I'm not ever going there again. IT'S ABSOLUTELY CRAZY GAMES!
Update: DH noticed the
Update: DH noticed the strange deposit on our GGS16's savings account. DH ask SD55, a couple of days ago, if she made the deposit; she denied making the deposit.
Now yesterday I receive an email from SD55 (against boundaries/no social media). SD stated that she had closed the (3) Gkids (her son's children) accounts and put them in a sub-account that belonged to her. SD stated she didn't want the gkids to be able to get any of the $$$ and "blow it"; which I have no problem with, SD had set up these accounts, her business.
SD went on to ramble about how she "knew I set up new accounts and she had deposited $$$$ in each of YOUR three new accounts to cover anything YOU had previously deposited into MY accounts". What? SD made it sound as the accounts were MY accounts, blah..blah...blah. All accounts are in the Gkid's names with our name on the accounts also.
Ok, I printed the email and showed it to DH and told him it was no problem, but we had set up the savings accounts for the GGKids and the accounts were met to continue what we had been doing previously. I did not respond to SD's email; but I heard DH on the phone tell her "WE set the accounts up to continue depositing as previously. WE would decide when to hand the $$$ out to GGkids." DH also thanked SD for letting US know about the deposits she made; therefore SD knew DH had read the email.
This was great! #1 SD actually thought DH didn't know about the accounts; that's why she emailed me, instead of telling DH; even after DH had asked her about the deposit. #2 I loved the fact that DH used "WE" when following up by phone. #3 SD finally admitted to DH that she closed the accounts that had existed, and put them in her sub-account, whatever that is.
I let DH handle it all and never made any comment. I guess SD thinks we keep $$$$ secrets; I know for a fact she keeps $$$$ issues from her DH (son-in-law).
I knew she had been quiet too long; but I walked away from this one with a smile. This woman never stops with the control issues.
So SD proved she lied to DH,
So SD proved she lied to DH, then changed gears. What was DH's response to that? I agree she should be locked in a padded room with SDM's Twit. Both you and SDM could sell tickets for people to see the video. Sort of like a chicken fight. What do you want to bet she will try to access the grandkid's accounts? That's if she hasn't tried already. What a piece of work!
I'd call that a win, and
I'd call that a win, and savor it as long as possible despite the ggskids getting the short end of the stick.
What a sad piece of work your H's daughter is! I'd like to see her locked in a room with She'sdrivingme's crazy SD, twit. We could sell tickets and make a fortune!
UPDATE since graduation!
UPDATE since graduation! Yep, KARMA came home to visit AGAIN. SGGkids that graduated did not get their $$$$ that was saved for them from SD's closed accounts. SD56 (their grandmother) really stepped in it now.
Our phone rings three nights ago, one week after graduation of our two SGGkids18. SGS (SD's bio son) , father of these two graduates, is livid. DH is sitting beside me; so thinking fast, to keep my slate clean, I put the phone on speaker, so DH could hear all of the conversation.
Long story short, SD did NOT give the $$$$, that was in their accounts, to SGGkids for graduation; they were led to believe, from SD, they would be receiving it at age 18 and graduation from HS. SGS says the $$$ was never ear marked, but the kids had believed they would be receiving it, due to the fact that SD talked about the $$$$ all the time to them. When DH & I opened the new accounts, after SD had closed the others, we ear marked them for later, so they would build up $$$$ again; we notified SGS and SGGkids they were ear marked for later. Of course we put $$$ in a card for each, that did not come out of their accounts.
SGS also tells us that SD made a few statements about "Sammigirl" in a text; which he sent to us later. They were untrue statements and DH knew it; keep in mind DH is listening to this entire conversation, and read the text. SGS tells us he and his family sat down and decided they needed to disengage from SD and SIL; because SD would NOT discontinue the passive aggressive behavior she has demonstrated for several years. SGS had asked her to stop holding $$$ over his kids heads and SD is still doing it. SGS tells us (with DH listening) that he has told SD and SIL to stay away from him and his family. This is so sad! Kids probably won't see their $$$ for sure now.
SGS tells us he also let SD know that he called us and that he sent us copies of all documentation SD had written about me.
Now KARMA comes into the picture. DH never believed me when I told him similar stories; now he hears it from his own grown GS. DH has not commented, he is very silent, and we have heard nothing from SD up the street. I love KARMA!