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requesting 50/50

msg1986's picture

I'm so sorry but I think I'm being a blog hog today but I think it's only because Dh had to work and I hardly have free time to really write on here...

anyway, in my prev post I noted that Dh has requested 50/50 from Bm in the past (this has all be verbal) and she was all for it once he got back from working out of town. Once she found out about me and when things got serious she changed her tune and said she didn't want to give Dh 50/50 custody because she didn't want her son around another motherly figure half of the time. Anyway, This got me curious, so Dh has only asked Bm for 50/50, he's never actually taken her to court. So my question is for those that have gone thru this process, if Bm is saying no way to 50/50, how is that handled in the courts? Does something have to happen for Dh to request this or does he just file? How do the courts usually look at a request like this? Although Bm does a lot of things that would be considered unfit, Dh has no way of proving that and him requesting 50/50 certainly wouldn't be an attack on Bm's parenting (although she'd look at it that) it's mostly that Dh would like more time with his son to be in his life more than just every fri-sun. I'm totally okay with this as I love my Ss and want nothing but the best for him. I would think the courts would be in favor of seeing a father requesting more time but then again I've never really gone thru this. What has happened in your situations?

Comments

msg1986's picture

I see, this is great info, thank you Tog Smile I was thinking that also as far as the court not wanting to change his every weekend visitation if there is real reason other than Dh wanting to be more than just a "weekend dad". Bm is a rotten person however she is the type that is afraid of the law so I don't really know if she would try to lie or anything in court... I don't know her personally though so who knows.

I WISH dh had proof of her saying this. The only time she throws out threats or says crazy things is when she gets him on the phone, that's why he's pushed for text/email only but sometimes she grabs the phone and goes off. She's a piece of work but her mom was a asshole Bm too so I'm sure her mom has told her not to text/email dh anything he can use against her.

msg1986's picture

Thanks Pinata! Smile From all the stuff I've seen hear it seems the courts do like 50/50 and I don't see any reason for Dh not being able to get that as we are stable, married, we own our home, we have a place for Ss.

msg1986's picture

I was thinking that too as far as meeting with a lawyer. Dh talked to a lawyer not too long ago when Bm was threatening to take him to court to take his visitation and based on what the lawyer told Dh was that being that he pays his support and he has Ss every weekend she doesn't have a leg to stand on. She loves to tell husband "the court will laugh in your face if you ask for more custody." but I don't see why she thinks this. Dh is a normal hard working person with no criminal history. Thank you Fightin this is a great idea to at least just meet with someone who knows the local laws and can guide us in the right direction.

Gabriels Mom's picture

Generally courts are in favor of 50/50 and in order to prevent your DH from getting it BM would need to have a valid reason for him not to have it and be able to prove whatever it is she's accusing him of....also, you say she is unfit...if she makes a big stink about it it could turn into a big court battle that will have both of them investigated...that's why BM gave up fighting with my DH over the 50/50 he wanted. The mediator flat out told BM...you have to prove your accusations. You can't just make wild accusations in court and expect the judge to believe you and if you push it the court will order a GAL and for you both to be investigated to see who would be more fit to raise your son. *This of course was after BM admitted to smoking pot while SS was with her*

msg1986's picture

yeah I've seen that a lot here that courts like the 50/50 so that gives us hope, it's tiring to have bm acting like she's all reign supreme just because she refuses to give Dh 50/50. I honestly don't know what she could even say to allege that Dh is unfit as he's never given her any reason. Her on the hand, yikes, I'd be here typing all day. lol. I honestly don't know how Bm would react if/when Dh takes her to court for 50/50 or anything for that matter. she'd probably freak out and not know what to do. Thank you for your insight Smile

htracewell's picture

The state I live in is very proactive towards 50/50 especially when its a father requesting this.