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msg1986's picture

Hi all! Smile it's been a while but since going to court things have for the most part been calm. There is course have been snags here and there (some of which I have blogged about) but for the most part it's been fine. The reason I'm blogging today though is there is something that Bm has started up recently that I'm not sure how Dh should go about it. Soooo if you remember me, you'll remember that one of main reason that dh ended up taking BM to court was because she insisted that if dh wanted to see Ss that he had to pick him up wherever Bm decided to be that day and drop him off in the same fashion. Mind you bm lives almost an hour away in a different city and it seemedike she got off on having dh play this cat and mouse game to see his son every weekend.

Anyway, in court it was established that Bm would drop ss off at our home for dhs visitation and dh would drop ss off at Bms residence when visitation ended. Dh requested from our lawyer that the CO stated that drop off/pick up would be at our residences but for some reason the lawyer advised dh against that because he said if Bm moved it could disadvantage him... I dont know how but whatevr. Well a few months after court Bm started her shit again asking for ss to be dropped off at different locations which are further out from where she lives. Dh pushed back and told her that he had the ability to change where he was for drop off too and that he didn't think she'd like for him to start changing that up. After that Bm stopped but as of about 2 months ago she's started up again. So my question is, what do we do at this point? Should dh point that out to be again that he makes sure that he's home at 4pm to collect ss when it's his visitation and Bm should be capable of doing the same thing. Bm is still unemployed so there is really no where she needs to be. Today for instance she is asking dh to drop ss off at her moms house which is 10 min further out from her home which is 45 min away so in essence we'd be driving about an hour to take ss back. In the year since they've gone to court dh had never asked Bm to deviate from the schedule that the judge made clear to them (the judge specifically told them that drop offs would be at da bothers residences it was just wasn't put in the CO.)

I just don't understand why Bm can't make sure to be at her house at 4 pm. We've been doing this for a year with no issue yet for her it seems to be such an issue. It aggravating because Everytime she asks dh will say he's not willing to do with what she's asking and advises her that he'll meet her by her house and Everytime she'll be like "oh well, I'll just wait at my house then" I just don't understand. Should dh just give in and to avoid having to get stressed out about whether she's going to start fighting with him if he says no? I can understand if it's a one time thing but it's the i g out to be every weekend now for stupid shit like they decided to visit her mom. Advice?


misSTEP's picture

Have him use the "broken record" approach. Just repeat the same stuff over and over.

BM: "I am going to be at the whorehouse at 4, please drop SS there
DH: "Per the CO, I will drop him at your home at 4 today"
BM: "I won't be there. It isn't any further for you to take him to whorehouse instead"
DH: "The CO states to drop him at your place. I will do so at 4 today"
BM: "Why can't you be flexible? I am not going to be home"
DH: "We have a CO that needs to be followed. He will be at your house at 4 today"

No arguing and no adding additional tidbits. Just the same thing over and over. She can figure it out from there.