BM is OBSESSED with my BF and he doesn’t realize it
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for the past 6 months. And even though it's been such a short time we instantly fell in love with eachother and he moved in with me and my dad. Our relationship is going perfect besides these little things we can't seem to agree on. His BM is TOXIC but she plays the victim card VERY WELL. She has his mom, his dad, and TRIED to have him wrapped around her finger. Things have been slowly escalating and I realize that it's only gonna get worse.
From what I have been told when my BF lived with the BM he was the one working and when he got home he took care of the kids because she just liked sitting on her phone all day. He left about 7 months after his son was born and then his mom made him try to make a relationship work with the BM again and she ended up pregnant with his daughter. He left again because he didn't want to be with her because she wouldn't let him leave the house at all.
About a month into our relationship I wrote my name on my BFS car window, she got upset stole money from his wallet, cursed him out, and said she wasn't gonna leave his car ALL while holding the babies. (I seen a recording of this incident) he ended up having to call the police on her.
She blocked him because I "disrespected" her even though I didn't even know she would be in his car. visitations stopped for a little while and picked back up at the end of October. He's not allowed to see the kids without her being there and she said I'm NEVER allowed to meet her kids, which is cool I understand.
I know life is hard that's why I was giving her the benefit of the doubt but then she started crossing my boundaries. She tells him that his son is crying and wants to see him, AT 10PM. My bf texted me and said he understands I feel uncomfortable and that I could call at anytime. Once he got home I told him that 10pm visitations at his bms house is where I draw the line. He texted her and told her what I said. She calls him and is pissed off saying how he's not a father and how he's hurting his kids blah blah blah. She gets otp with me and basically says I'm insecure because she would never want to be with him ever again. YEA WHATEVR. I believed her then tho.
Flash Forward Thanksgiving, they had a meal at his parents house. (I'm not invited cuz I'm not family I guess >.<) after they ate she asks him too smoke with her. He declines and she gets upset.
Around the middle of December she hits him up randomly again saying she's going to be homeless soon so he needs to find her a place to live. My bf gets really stressed when it comes to his kids and she knows that. I was trying to explain to her she couldn't get kicked out without an eviction notice but she wasn't listening.
A week before Christmas he was getting ready to see his kids and he took $200 from our apartment fund bc he wanted to get the kids stuff. I told him that's not enough so I gave him another $100 from our fund and gave him $200 of my money. I wanted the kids to have a good Christmas bc I've never had one yanno.
I ended up talking to her on the phone, she was just telling me how my boyfriend is a liar and how he left her and yadda yadda for 2 HOURS straight everything was cool and she told me to text her after I talked to my bf. I guess she thought I was gonna break up with him so when I messaged her saying everything's fine and that I hope everyone can do what they need too for the kids. She just left it on read.
Her and the kids supposedly were sick and my bfs parents had Covid so they asked me to drop stuff off. While at the grocery store I sent her a picture of what I had and asked her if she needed anything else. She brought up my bf and I told her it's not about him it's about the kids.She said she doesn't want anything and she doesn't need it she's fine.. Even though she told his mom she needed medication, formula, apple juice and snacks. I figured it was a pride thing and bought the groceries anyways. I left them at her doorstep and took a pic and sent it to her and she told me to never come around again great.
the NEXT DAY she tells my boyfriend she needs $500 in two days or her and the kids are going to be on the streets. I told him I'm tired of her bs and not to give it to her bc I know she's lying. She calls him a deadbeat. He says he doesn't have money but if the kids need a place to stay they can stay with him until she gets back on her feet. She says "what about me" he tells her she's grown and she's gonna have to figure it out. She blocks him again.
Now yesterday she messaged him again saying that if he doesn't give her $500 by the end of the month she's going to put him on child support. He says whatever. She claims she needs help. I told him to tell her to fill out paperwork for government assistance and she says she can't because she has to get emancipated first. (She's 20 btw)
I told him to tell her to stop lying and he said that he doesn't want to make her mad because he doesn't want her taking her anger out on the babies. WHATTTT
ever since he told me this I can't get it out of my head, what type of mother does that. I told him 50/50 custody isn't enough and he should get full custody and he thinks I'm crazy.
We are in the process of hiring an attorney, getting a house, and serving her paperwork.
Lol I wrote all of this and it's not even 5%
what should we do about custody?
what should I do at all, I'm so lost tbh