You are here

Upadate to BM’s inquiry re: DH’s income

momjeans's picture

In my most recent blog post I stated that DH slipped up and told me that a few months ago he found out that BM had put an income inquiry in with the state. 

DH currently pays $600/mo, which he pays directly to skid’s school, as that’s her monthly tuition cost. 

He finally opened the mail he received from our previous city, state (where BM and skid reside) that has been sitting there for days upon days. 

Per the papers, BM not only put in for a potential CS increase, but she is requesting an extra $350/mo for “medical expenses”.


If that’s her request, then why doesn’t she just petition for him to provide health insurance for skid? I assume if it’s going through the support enforcement division that they (the state) will just reword that to reflect it that way? 

From my understanding she cannot just request extra money for health expenses/insurance. That they’ll just order DH to provide insurance.

I’m trying to wrap my head around DH paying almost a grand out-of-pocket for one child.

Please enlighten me. 

Edited to add: This is why I’m thankful we keep our finances separate. 


tog redux's picture

Well, she can ask for anything, but what does the law say in regard to medical expenses? He might be required to carry insurance for her plus pay some out of pocket expenses on top of the child support/tuition that he already pays.

My DH pays over $1100 for CS and health insurance for one stb20-year-old.  Sigh. 

momjeans's picture

Agreed. And I keep trying to remind myself of that. She CAN ask for anything she wants, but it seems a bit foolish considering she could end up actually getting it reduced, correct? 

The original CO states that skid’s monthly school tuition was to be paid in lieu of child support paid directly to BM. Also, BM made no request for anything medical or insurance related, as she had skid covered on her insurance. 

I know, I know. Secondary insurance is never a bad thing, but that was BM’s way of giving DH the proverbial “I’m a big girl - I can do it all on my own” middle finger. 

tog redux's picture

Our experience was that when BM filed for more CS, the court disregarded the original CO and made DH pay half health insurance even though BM didn't ask for it.  But your DH should certainly find out what he would owe in CS and if it's less than the tuition, and request that be changed as well.  

strugglingSM's picture

The one thing that DH got from the mediation, was the BM is now responsible for 100% of non-insured medical expenses. BM's lawyer added this language because BM wanted to deduct what she claims to pay to have SSs on her health insurance (she says it's $652 a month) from her monthly income, while still requiring DH to provide health insurance, as he has since the divorce. 

BM recently tried to come to DH to get money for braces for one SS. DH reminded her of what she agreed to. BM cried and claimed that DH's lawyer added that "to break" BM. Um, no, DH's lawyer, was 100% useless, her lawyer added the language about medical expenses. 

DH also pays more child support than is owed, because BM "couldn't" produce some income documents and DH's useless lawyer didn't push it. She also had 5x the taxes deducted from her check as necessary, but I'm sure all that has changed. I'd also be willing to bet that neither SS is on her health insurance anymore. I think that was all a ruse to get more child support. 

DH's lawyer told him he could ask for a recalculation in a year, when BM could no longer hide her other income, but I told him it probably wasn't worth it, because BM is a total con artist and is not above lying, even on legal documents. We saw her most recent tax returns and she not only filed with her DH as "married", even though they never legally married, but she also claimed that her DH's "business" had a $20,000 loss that year, even though he didn't even really have a business and certainly didn't spend $46,000 on advertising, like he claimed. 

One thing I've learned being a SM is that whoever is the most dishonest always wins, especially if that person is a "poor, defenseless" mother who is "only looking out for her kids." 

momjeans's picture

I am sure BM engages in hiding money because...

- she’s co-owner of her deceased father’s restaurant, along with her brother, and...

- she has a hand in bookkeeping AND works as a server there, so lots of tips because she really, REALLY works for them if you know what I’m saying. 

According to these papers she makes $8k a year.