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Disengaged summer + Skid leaving soonish

momjeans's picture

Skid has been here since around the 10th of June, or so. I don’t know the exact day she arrived, as no one shared that information with me. She’s due to leave, fly back home on August 10th, per DH.

And although this summer has been particularly rough, emotionally, I’ve managed to stay disengaged for the most part. It has been empowering to back my words with actions.

Over the last six weeks, I’ve only seen, and low level engaged with, skid FOUR times. I’m pretty damn proud of myself. I’m also pretty sure it’s eating my in-laws alive, too, because skid is #1. The most important. Top priority. 

I was sure I had all of my in-laws locked out of my social media, but apparently forgot to block my FIL on Instagram. He has been relentlessly trying to get me to confirm his request to follow my private account. FIL will cacel the request and resubmit it, over and over, because I’m not confirming it. Obviously, FIL is a loose cannon and I have no desire to ever allow him to follow my Instagram account, or any social media account for that matter ever again. Plus, I’m sure he only wants to do this, not to see photos of his two young grandchildren, but to have an avenue to communicate with me. This is totally his MO. He has done this before and it’s why I dumped him from following me ages ago. It’s very easy to see what he’s trying to accomplish with his stupid “Oh, that looks like fun! I’m sure skid would love to be there doing that, too, momjeans!” BS comments. 

DH has been uber sweet with the eagerness to do **this and that** before skid leaves. My reply? “Cool! That sounds great. Have fun doing that with skid and the little ones, DH!” 

“But, I think it would be in the best interest of our family if you go too, momjeans.” 

No. Just no.

Also, BIL’s ex fiancé has requested to follow my Instagram account, too. In my experience, ex fiancé trying to get back in contact with me only means one thing - she has dirt to share with me. Like MIL talking smack about me behind my back, or some atrocious behavior on skid’s part that she witnessed and wants to dish about. 

I’m doubling down over the next week and a half. I literally do not want to lay eyes on skid or the in-laws until December. 


Siemprematahari's picture

So proud of you! Continue to disengage and do what is best for you. Amazing how your FIL doesn't get the hint that you want no parts of him but insists on continuing to send you requests. I wouldn't accept Xfiancee either as whatever info she may have won't change your feelings about your situation so why engage in that negativity.

Keep up the great work!

futurobrillante99's picture

Bravo! You are a fortress surrounded by granite gates. Don't let them in!!

momjeans's picture

Thanks! I’ve found it a lot easier to maintain when I really do imagine a tall wall around myself. It keeps me going in the right direction. 

moving_on_again's picture

Block those people, too! Unless it's entertaining to watch them try so hard. 

TwoOfUs's picture

Go momjeans!!! 

Be firm. Don't let his desires and their desires trump your own :) 

twoviewpoints's picture

I think it would great for father to take his kids (all of them). 

How fun. Lol. A Daddy/Kid day. Lots of bonding. He'll be like this at the end of the outting...


Hang in there. Almost over. You've done well.

SilentlyCoping's picture

Sounds like you are doing great and are getting some relief.  I am soooo happy for you!!!! Yes, I agree, the DH takes care of the skid.  After all, he created him.  :-)  As for the social media thing, you are spot on, especially if you are not particularly close or fond of your inlaws.  I myself have great in-laws (so first set of in-laws were great too until I did something to piss off my mother-in-law at the time, then it was the holy war! LOL).  But, I will say, I will send pictures of my dogs (my mother-in-law calls them her furry grandsons) or post pics of the dogs on social media.  After a while if she doesn't get a picture of her grandchilder (the skids), she asks me why.  I just ignore the request, after all, they are not my damn kids!  If she wants pictures of them, then she can tell her son/DH that and he can take them. 

But hey, hang in there....the light is at the end of the tunnel!  And once the train has left the station again....CELEBRATE!!!!