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I'm an idiot....and I know it.

mom23ms's picture

I've decided I am a self proclaimed idiot/moron.

So I went to exSo's house to pick up a few things I left that was my kids when I moved out. We were chit chatting and I asked if he had still not talked to his girls and of course he hadn't. They will not still talk to him or return his calls. Low and behold BMs SUV pulls up and the doorbell rings. It was his Daughter #2. She says she wants to get a couple pairs of shorts. So he lets her in and she goes gets the stuff.

He starts to have a convo with and this is how it went.

SO: Do you miss me, you haven't returned my calls.
SD: I did but not anymore
SO: Do you want to come back and visit?
SO: Does Daughter #3 ask about me?

Then here comes the nasty daughter #1 who wished death on her father

SD#1: Do you have a check for mom? (meaning child support check)
SO: Ummm no. She gets it on the date she always gets it
SO: How have you been doing? Are you okay?

Instead of her responding she walks out without saying a single word. Then SD #2 makes some stupid comments and questioning about stuff in the house. Apparently ther was a bill that came to BM so while SO was at work she had one of the girls stick it on the back porch (instead of mailbox like she always has.) SD#2 says she saw SO's new dining room table when she was dropping off the check. He asked her how she knew....She tells him she looked through the window.

Anyway, you know...SO see's a counselor because he was really hurt by his kids rejection (I say it's PAS but who knows.) He is now starting to get over it....he continues to call even though they won't have anything to do with him.

I guess what frustrates me is...this has been an ongoing problem since January. I feel like SO just doesn't want to step up to the plate and just have it out with the kids and try to get on the same page. It's always "he's not ready yet."

I understand that he needs to deal with his kids the way he wants/needs to but this is my life too and until everyone is on the same page or something definite is done, everyones life is on hold because of him and his kid.

So, I am a moron...because what person would just hold out like I am waiting for him to deal with things. It's just not about him and his kids...I have feelings and kids too. He can't tell me in one breath he is done dealing with the kids and moving on and then say "when they come back." Which one is it? Are they coming or going?

Is it really time to just accept things for what they are, and just run. Cut things off, no being friends, nothing?


Hatecopycats's picture

I'm sorry his kids are so nasty.....stay away and move on with your life. It seems harsh but the situation is harsh. Things will never change until SO realizes what is going on and puts his foot down.

Unfortunatly that may never happen....find a nice man with NO kids.

mom23ms's picture

You guys are right and deep down I know it's the right thing (just needed reassurance.) I did give it my all even after moving out. Just doesn't change...his kids are nasty spiteful girls and he is an idiot with NO BACKBONE. As I have always posted, I have BKs and they aren't perfect and when they are out of line they get disciplined. However my kids have NEVER and will NEVER say or do some of the crap his has said because they know...they know what will happen to them. LOL But he was the first one to say to me "your kid isn't doing this or you kid did that." When he should have been beating his kids for cursing at the restaurants and throwing forks and knives at one another. really is for the best.