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Frustrated and bothered!!!

meanpocahontas's picture

So it's been a minute since I've been in here. Little insight; my DH has full custody of his 2 kids, BM is a major alcoholic,pill popper, cheat, liar, etc... They've been divorced for 6yrs. Ok so in the decree the judge ordered split financial responsibility when it comes to any medical related matters. She doesn't have to pay child support because DH didn't push that issue so long as her name was removed from the house deed, she lives with her elderly mother and now has a now 1yr old lil girl on top of the 19.5 yr old BS and a 16 yr old BD. The problem we have now is that the 16 yr has this attitude that she didn't quite get on her own, that we made her BM pay for her half of some orthodontic fees, that she shouldn't of had to because she doesn't have the money and for another SD didn't want the braces in the first place. So she says we forced her to pay for those things. That we shouldn't make her pay for any medical costs because BD has custody and the insurance and BM can't afford it. .?.??.! She says that BM pays for alot more than BD, when she's there on the wknds?!?!.. She thinks that since BM pays for her hair crap, junk food and occasional toiletries that she's provided more than enough. We know that these are not all of her own thoughts, as we have had the BM manipulation issues in the recent past. She comes home with a really shitty tude and is very rude and mean to BD. She is a very vain young lady. If it wasn't for BD having her get the braces she wouldn't have that beautiful smile she has now. She just treats dad like absolute crap and I just can't stand it anymore. All I want to do or know if I should do, is sit down with her and explain a little about the financial obligations divorced parents share/have. But I'm not sure if I should since it really should be from one of the BP but I know the BM won't and if she did it would only be a pity part and I know BD won't because tendency would be like a lot of things, just put on the back burner. What needs to happen?? Because the shit is only getting deeper every week. And DH only thinks I'm nagging if i suggest he should try and talk to her about things such as this and especially the shitty tude. Because if she can't respect him she will never respect me nor her grandparents! Help.....!!


stepmom1183's picture

I agree. I have stressed myself out so much worrying about arrangements, plans, cs, custody, etc. I allowed myself to take on all of that responsibility where the bio parents wouldn't step up. The sooner you step back and let the bio parents handle things, or in this case, not handle them the better. It's not worth it. Even if you know what the right thing to do is. Ignore it. You will be much happier stepping back and not stressing over it.