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Question for all!!!!

Itwillgetbetter's picture

Ok SD needs braces that will cost about $4500.00 to $6000.00. BF pays for the premium of the insurance he pays $545.00 of child support every month! And his insurance pays for $1500.00 towards the braces... Should he still pay some of the braces? or should BM pay for the difference? BM has been the biggest Beotch when it comes to the child support part. So why should he be nice and pay some of it she lives with her mother doesnt pay any rent and has a brand new chrysler 300 while we are struggling trying to pay the $545 at the begining of every month because she wants to keep SD in private school. After she told me that private school children are worse. What do you guys think?

Comments

melis070179's picture

We are in the exact same situation, except braces for SS are $3500-$4000...he is covered under my husband and insurance pays $1500 of it. My DH told BM to get a loan for the rest. We're not paying it. The divorce decree doesn't state anything about uncovered medical expenses in our situation, in fact he doesn't even really have to cover him on his insurance. When my sister & I had to get braces, my dad didn't pay any of it either. He only paid child support. Nothing else. So unless its in the divorce decree that he has to pay part of uncovered medical expenses, I think the decision is his whether he wants to or not. Of course, if it isn't, she might try to take him to court to get it changed!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

smurfy1smile's picture

Most court orders require parents to pay a portion of non-reimbursed medical expenses. Its usually a percentage for each parent. My BF's latest order only says medical expenses and nothing about dental . BM does not have dental insurance as far as we know. My BS17's order says his BF must keep medical and dental insurance on our son and pay a portion of non-reimbursed medical expenses.

Check your order. Does she need braces for health reasons or is it more cosmetic?

aka's picture

My H was just convicted of contempt for just this reason. We told the BM to wait for 3 months to get SS braces so we could cover SS on our dental which pays a lot more than what is on hers. He decided not to pay because she did it anyway and told her she would have to cover the rest. She currently gets 2,300 in CS and alimony and we figured that with her job as a nurse (she has a degree as well) and her BF living there she could cover the rest. H went to court without a lawyer and got slammed for this. They just kept saying "kids come first" and that he had to pay for his portion.. Be very careful on this subject. Get some legal advise before he says anything about not paying. My H was going to try to pay payments to her but the court ordered one full payment and she even threatned to throw him in jail if he didn't pay in full..

Never Ending's picture

We went to court twice for situation like this, first BM wanted the ss in very expensive private shool BIGG $$, and BM wanted ss on growth hormones, also big $$
The court and BM lawyers went thru every financial piece of paper we have, H even went to financial depo for 8 hrs.

The result was she took my husband educational responsibility away and then his medical. 2 years apart Both cases BM has to pay if full for both per judge. Its a sad situation because my H was stripped of his rights as a father because of money.
In BM & H prev agreement it stated that th father has to agree, BM cant be making decisons about money that does not belong to her. It gets very sticky and when you have to deal with a B ..tch ..it only makes it worse.

melis070179's picture

well considering he's already overpaid $4000, I'd say his share for Junior's future braces is already covered!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Angel's picture

the parent that has crooked teeth should pay!!!!

melis070179's picture

well that guideline would definitely work in our favor for my situation! Thats a good one!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Angel's picture

if I will pay for his crooked teeth gene!!!!! ha ha ha

Let her pay!

melis070179's picture

Biggrin yep! Biggrin

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

when I think of the tiny amount I recieved-$99.00/mo, and I was only earning $18,000 a year. My ex played the game-putting the farm in a corporation and claiming a salary that matched mine.

But $1,000/mo on a $30,000 yr salary? That's insane. Don't know how you all do it.

melis070179's picture

my DH makes $60K/year & we pay $400/mo...but that amount was decided on back when he made $30K...for 1 kid. I think Crayon's BF is getting financially raped! Thats close to 50% of his pay! My sister's husband pays $1300/mo for 2 kids, and he makes $65K.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

melis070179's picture

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melis070179's picture

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melis070179's picture

oh, she knows. he's moved up 4 ranks since he divorced her & she can easily look up the pay chart. But there is no court order for cs, we pay on our own. We actually have custody & a court order that SHE is supposed to be paying US. She doesn't have a lawyer to go back to court & fight to get custody back & we refused to give it to her willingly because we don't want a child support order. We told if she tried to take us to court we would go after the child support she never paid, and that apparently scared her enough to keep her mouth shut...for now at least. She knows that with her being a felon it wouldn't be so easy for her to get legal custody back. I think it'd be a big mess for both sides if we went to court to try to work out our very screwed up situation! So we all just leave it alone.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

melis070179's picture

BM did that when they first got divorced, but once she got busted & had the kids taken away from her, DD was modified & custody/cs was gone...and with the courts its been that way ever since...so she can't sign up with them again without going back to court to try to get custody back...good luck to her if she tries!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Sita Tara's picture

BM reminds her every time she sees her that her teeth are "horrible" and calls DH complaining that he didn't get braces for her yet. Well....

They are around 5,000.

Our insurance pays around 1200.

BM is to pay 20 percent of what's not covered and I guess we eat the rest.

Except that when DH tells her he'd be happy to sit down with her anytime to discuss how and when she's going to pay her 900 or so bucks, we will get right on that.

Then BM drops it again for a month or so.

Of course DH did tell BM braces got put on hold when we had to shell out 1200 bucks plus 40 or so more a month for our new security system since SD was sneaking out in the middle of the night.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

melis070179's picture

hey...braces are not neccessarily a "right", more of a priviledge...not everyone can afford them. Sometimes other things are more important! Do what you gotta do. Some people don't get them until they are adults & are paying for them themselves! Thats what my stepmom & cousin had to do because their families couldn't afford them.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Colorado Girl's picture

I got braces when I was 22.

My parents were kinda mad at me though...being that I got pregnant and all. Smile

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

melis070179's picture

oops! teehee...

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

melis070179's picture

well, she is the BM...they are never made to pay much, if anything at all!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

melis070179's picture

yeah, you should quit your job & pop out a couple more kids...then you won't have to! oh but wait...don't wanna turn you into one of THEM (the BMs that everyone writes about on here!)

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

lilbrat6's picture

WOW, I know this is an older post....
but it is amazing to see someone else that is dealing with the 20% on the bm side. And you hit it on the head when you ask for them to pay up their measly 20% and then we'll get started.(which use to be only 10% for her before she took bf back to court for more cs. At least the court changed one thing positive for the bf that day)

Sita Tara's picture

It was me who posted the 20 percent. AND if we go to a Dr who's not a provider (NONE are for our crappy dental) then BM doesn't have to pay at all.

The 20 percent was because this was drawn up in their original 50/50 shared parenting agreement. When we went back to modify for us to have FC, the rest of the agreement was simply carried over and the only real changes were that we get to claim SD every year (thank God since BM's down to taking her one nite a week, and even then we often feed SD first) and the visitation schedule which BM has peeled herself away from anyway.

We had spent thousands getting full legal and physical custody, and BM conceded 4 pm the day before our long awaited TRIAL date (had about 5 pre-trials over nine or ten months.) So when we saw the medical didn't change we were just happy to have the 865 dollar a month swing (DH paid 500 a month to BM when it was shared and they alternated claiming SD on taxes- now BM pays 365 a month for us to have FC.)

I honestly don't expect that BM will ever pay anything. DH has never sent her a bill because she fought over things that she thought he should pay (he was to pay for "camps and overnight trips that both parties agree to ahead of time" and she was to pay for after/before school care. BM then enrolled SD in summer childcare facilities that called their programs "Fun and Swim Camp" or "Summer care camp" and thought that he should foot the bill.

Anyway, now she can't enroll her in anything anymore, and I don't know how to start sending her bills for medical stuff when he never has. It's another thing I would have to do for it to happen, and most of those I have attempted to let go of. I just have decided that since BM convinces herself I do not exist, that I will return the favor when it comes to her being any kind of mother to SD.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I

Sita Tara's picture

We've never had a Dr's office willing to bill BM separately- all of them hide behind their computer programs of ONE guarantor per acct. That would be dreamy to have the office handle it, and actually legally I think they should have to bill per the court ordered agreement.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I

Rags's picture

At least that is what is in our judgement. BioDad's CS obligation includes half of the premium cost for me to cover my SS on my insurance. Of course he has not paid a dime in uncovered medical expenses in more than 14 years and now is in debt to us for ~$4K. I love it, when my SS ages out from under visitation we will take BioDad back to court to get his CS increased for my SS's college years (the state BD lives in required the NCP to pay CS until age 21 for full time college students) and repayment of the uncovered med expenses plus penalties and interest. We have sent him a spread sheet of what he owes with copies of receipts at least once a year since day one. He refuses delivery. What the dip-shit does not realize is that refusal of registered mail is legally the same as acceptance. So, when we nail his ass to the wall he will not be able to play the usual "I never got it" card he usually tries to play.

I can't wait to give this guy all of the crap he put us through for the past 14+ years back in spades, with penalties and interest.

Petty of me? Absolutely, but it is time for some StepDad pay back.

Best regards,

HummingBirdHunny's picture

In our situation my husband has the kids covered by medicaid and by his insurance through work. In 2006 SD needed and partial set for the upper half of her teeth which cost $1500 total. Medicaid didn't cover any of it but thankfully my husbands insurance covered half of it. The remaining half was covered by my husband but we had asked BM prior to the procedure to help us pay the balance of what insurance covered and she agreed. Around this same time she dragged us into mediation for some BS about me taking the kids out of state. My husband brought the bill with us (but we had paid it off so we wouldn't have to worry about anything though) and got it put into a court order that BM HAD to pay 40% of the bill. And she is also suppose to pay 40% of all future medical expenses, dental and vision expenses not covered by insurance.

SD had the braces put on May of 2006, taken off May of 2008. It wasn't until December of 2008 and shit loads of nagging that BM finally decided to give us at least $100 towards reimbursement of the bill. I can officially now say as of April the remaining amount has been finally paid off. Now the kids have glasses and she owes about $50 total...which is supposed to be given to my husband this month (May)...if not then in June when they go back to the prosecuting attorney my husband can make them aware of it. What my husband really wants is for BM to pay the amount of C/S she's required to pay along with more that just $5 per week towards her back C/S that's at about 11 grand still!