You are here

BM commits fraud

livlaughlov's picture

OK, I wrote earlier about how BM now takes 50% of DH salary. It wasn't always that way, but the "extra-ordinary" expenses have gone way up, and since she doesn't work we pay 80% of these expenses.

Now it's gotten even worse. We are currently paying 80% of braces for SD14. The total bill was $6800, so these are not cheap braces. We are on a monthly payment plan for 2 years. Anyway, BM has been saying that SD12 now needs braces. DH told her fine, we'll pay, but not untill SD14's braces are paid for, which will be in 7 months.

Well yesterday DH gets a phone call from dentist saying that SD12 braces were put on ON DECEMBER 2nd!!! This was done without our knowledge. The dentist says the BM said we'd OK'd it all and the additional amount will be coming out of his account, that all the paperwork has been done. The dentist has his account information for braces #1, and has somehow recieved the approval to start deducting 2X that amount! SD12 braces are $6400!!!

BM lives far away, and so all this was done over the phone and my husband never signed anything saying this new amount could be deducted. I don't how she did it, but it must be illegal and is also just so mean and nasty.

I've never met a more self-centered, entitled bitch in all my life. She has ZERO concern for our 2 kids, and how this will affect them. What kind of person does this?! And WTF? Any advice? The braces are on, She doesn't work, lives off child support and government handouts. Are we just stuck paying?!

NikkiMac1's picture

I feel your pain, when I started dating my husband just after he had left his ex wife she was so mad that she got a line of credit at Bank of America in his name only for 5000$ - maxed it out, didn't make a payment for 3 months so the minimum payment got to be over 700$, she knew he was about to find out about the credit card so she set up for an auto pay to come out of HIS personal checking account the morning of his next pay day. It was crazy!!! Bank of America prosecuted her for fraud because she knowingly did it, they froze her account, took what little money she had in her own account to pay their expenses, then they closed her account and she can never bank with BOA again. They were still "legally" married when she did it, but it was in the divorce papers that she was to be held liable for that account. She ended up filing bankruptcy and included that account. You are correct when you say that she doesn't care about your two kids because she could care less if they ever ate again as long as you guys are miserable for having to pay her every dime you make and then some. My advice on braces #2 would be to contact the ortho, and tell them that you nor your husband agreed to pay for this and if they deduct any amount different than what you authorized that you will pursue legal action. If it is deducted straight out of a checking account, simply close that checking account and open a new one and start sending them direct paper checks for just the amount of braces #1 until they are paid for and then begin payments for braces #2 - that'll really piss her off!! LMAO!

Anon2009's picture

Do you have the orthodontist's professional email address? The next time BM says the SDs need something, you can email the orthodontist and ask for their opinion. I don't know if the orthodontist's office has a copy of the court order outlining the rules for decisions for the skids like these, but if they don't you should mail them one. As far as the email addresses go, if you don't have them, then you can find them by searching for their school on Google and find them on the school's website.

One thing that really helped DH and me was his getting all communication with BM done via email. You can print them off and save them, and BM's emails did her no favors in court. When it comes to future decisions that have to be made with BM, DH should make them via email (keeping you in the loop, of course) and, if necessary, CC the doctors, teachers, and other necessary adults who are involved just so they can know what is going on. A lot of times, BMs try to get the doctors, teachers, and other adults in their kids lives to think that their exes are deadbeats who don't want to be involved in their kids lives. Keeping these people in the loop via email can prove otherwise to them.

misguided's picture

You do not have to pay. Have your husband call the orthodontist and tell them that this was never authorized and that he is NOT approving this withdrawl. They will have no choice but to agree because they have nothing in writing authorizing this. Tell them that he will shut down the acct if they try to deduct the additional funds. I would however explain what happened and tell them that after 7 months they can start taking it out.

ohnoyoudidnt's picture

What we have done is called our insurance company too and told them to call us with any visits that may be billed in SS13's name. Since DH is the Garanter (sp) on his insurance.
If it was me I would be raising hell with the ortho!!!

Never a failure...Always a lesson

Angel72's picture

If your dh didn't approve, its fraud because the dentist took the bill payment from the first child and added the second on. Tell the dentist that if he starts deducting for the second, he'll be sued. You didn't give him written permission for the second.
I gave the advice that you should not pay at all for the second whatso ever. Take her to court or sue the dentist if he takes a penny out more!! He'll hesitate. considering if BM gve a verbal ok and not a written signature from yoru husband.!!!
Do this quick!!! contact that dentist and tell him your dh dint' give consent of payment for the second chidl and had no knowledge of when those braces were place. He can chase bm for the money on that kid. And bm can take you guys to court. Thsi way you guys press charges on her immediatley. Stop paying for this bitch!

LizzieA's picture

I hope just a mom is wrong as that sounds harsh. Who says braces are "needed" at any certain time? They are not heart surgery.
But anyway, I am sure you can negotiate with the dentist regarding this. They will understand that you can't afford double payments.

Conflicted's picture

My understanding is that braces are considered NON-NECESSARY.... They are not medically necessary. In WA state, the parties have to agree for the child to get braces and if one parent does not agree then the judge tells the parent who wants the braces that they have to pay for it.

livlaughlov's picture

There is no court order for these braces. There should have been agreement before she went and put braces on kid and told dentist to Bill us. We will close account untill it gets sorted out.

As for "would you want your kids to lose out cause BF decided to have more kids". This is a typically line spouted by many in Canada. However, if these parents were together they would NOT have been able to afford even 1 set of braces, let alone 2!

The ONLY reason the kids are getting braces are because she is DIVORCED and he HAS to pay, whether he is able to or not! Crazy system. Also if the BM has more kids, technically the kid from the 1st marriage gets less (as things are shared evenly between all kids in a family) but nobody bats an eye about this.

A BM could be buying a crib and car seat and outfitting nursery for new baby with CS for first kid, and nobody would know or care. Only children born in second families to FATHERS (or NCP's) are NOT allowed to share equally in their parents income.

It is a farce and most other countries in the world take 2nd family into consideration, especially when considering EXTRA expenses for kids #1. Canada is far behind the times. ALl kids count and untill they castrate divorced men, they have a legal obligation to support ALL their kids, not just the first ones.

Not only that but when I married DH, he only paid $600/month. That number is now 3X that amount, thanks to higher CS and so many EXTRAS being tagged on. it is NOT fair, the system needs to change to reflect reality, and the 100's of thousands of second families out there.

Anyway, we hope to get it sorted out this week, Thanks to all those for your adivce.

frustratedinMA's picture

Good for you.. I agree.. the father should be allowed to have a life and reproduce if they want. W/O penalty. unless we are talking about a guy that has 20 kids w/20 diff. women..

Its illegal what they did, and she could have waited 7 mths. I would let the dentist know that he can be expecting pymts to start in 7 mths, and that any interest on that money due is the Bm's responsiblity for not checking w/the person paying the bills.

Good lord.