How many of you get involved in co-parenting?
How many of you co-parent?
By that i mean,
Share your opinion on their behaviour? Get involved if they misbehave? Chat and trying to keep a good relationship. Getting involved willingly with picking/dropping off alterations? Buying them gifts or anything they're lacking.
If anything ive learnt from this site is to DISengage, get little involvement. But it's hard not to sometimes.
My learnt mistakes:
- Ive been accused for having too good of a relationship with SS to begin with that he told his BM I was trying to replace her. Which she messaged my partner for me to back off.
- Ive bought him clothes which he seemed to lack here because they don't get returned, so whatever leaves.. doesn't return.
- Buy him gifts on Birthday/Christmas, he says thanks but its the most empty, forced thanks. Other holidays receive nothing in return.
- His dads more on the lazy side so he doesn't involve himself much with his son in physical activity, id suggest things we all do and if he ends up hurt football etc.. its my fault
- I would offer every now and then to my DP to pick him up from school as he is needed more in work.(less stress for him) Which ended up; biting back because he told BM and she now messages to get me to do it if he cant.. which he does ask because she treats it as its his responsibility and he needs to sort it, which then gets between us.
Now i disengage. I feel i can improve the situations sometimes because you see things that could be said which aren't being said.
Should you get involved, or let things deteriorate?
I know if i let things deteriorate BM would demand to have her SS more so she could gain Maintenance from it.
Which prevents us buying a place and moving on in our lives.
This site needs a live chat feature