Mamma and her cupcakes.
So as you recall, our last email from BM was signed Mamma, which threw me into a tizzy. Sunday came, and we dropped of SD at mom's house instead of police station in an effort to "cooperate". It came at the end of a very very hard week for STBH and I, we were arguing for five days about his agreement in mediation.
BM flat out lied to me about saying she was willing to give STBH two weeks on and two weeks off, so that I would convince STBH to go to the meeting at all. As you know in the meeting she went back on that (a mere ten hours later) and STBH agreed to ask permission for his daughter whenever he was not working. That pissed me off for many reasons. I was mad at him for not calling me before just agreeing. I was pissed at her for lying to me though I should have known better. I was not going to keep my mouth shut any longer. I confronted him, and when I called her to confront her, she did not pick up, and days later returned my call leaving me a message. She said that she wasn't lying, she just changed her mind. She and her "husband" agreed that it would be best if they had right of first refusal so that "he wouldn't be responsible to find child-care" when he had to work because she would decide who cared for her daughter. (meaning not me). Fine whatever. Then she added that It doesn't really MATTER what I think because I am not a parent and don't understand the concerns of parents. These things, she said, are for momma and poppa to decide, and when it comes down to it, as SD's "REAL mom" she had the final say.
Again, fine, I didn't want to be left alone with a brat who has been INSTRUCTED to hit, bite, and kick me ANYWAY. (of course that's not REALLY how I feel most of the time, but I am tired of this sh*t).
So we go to "mamma's house" to drop of SD. She expected me to have been working out of state and not there. She comes to the car, in a miniskirt, heels, and apron and her hair all up, takes SD, proceeds to COMPLETELY ignore her as she asks STBH questions about money, court, the weekend, and hands him a plate with CUPCAKES ON IT.
As if either of us would eat them! Puleeze. My STBH handed them to me and said watch out for glass.
She said it was a peice offering.
We drove away wordlessly as i contemplated my next move.
Now I want to bake her a pie. I can't put anything in it that would make her ill - but I COULD pee in it, right?
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I am keeping my mouth shut on what to put in that pie LOL!!!
I like it ...
I sure hope you didn't eat the cupcakes! LOL ...
I had a similar experience ... BM didn't think I'd be there for the exchange, and it was an early morning one, like around 10am. Now, first, a bit of history ... DH seriously traded up ... BM, to me looks like she has downs syndrome (no offense to anyone please, it's just a good discriptor), never wears any make up, she's overweight and never dresses nicely - I'm a bit overweight too, but come on that doesn't mean we have to dress poorly. She also has this obsessive thing about pulling her hair out of the back of her head ... she has a serious bald spot, so she always wears her hair in a pony tail.
Okay, so back to the exchange ... she show up, hair down (combed over the bald spot) and make up on like she was going to war. She had on nice pants, and a shirt. I still don't think she dressed nicely, but it was an improvement. She even had on perfume. It was just too funny. WE gotin the car and I asked DH ... what was with the war paint? He siad, I have no idea - she doesn't even wear make up to church or work. Of course she's never worn it since, but it was just hillarious.
I like the pie idea, but she probably won't eat it either.
~ Katrina
Too funny!
I wouldn't have eaten those cup cakes either. If Bm gives us any food, first I check if it is ticking then I usually throw it out unless ss HAS to eat it by order of the queen mother!
Dawn
Very odd.
I experience this, too, to a lesser degree. One minute she's friendly, the next minute her head is rotating and she's spewing vomit. What can you do?!
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
What Can You Do?
Make her a pie (he he he)
You could make a pan of brownies
using Exlax.....}:)
marika
ex-lax,
Don't think I didn't think about it. I have imagined all manner of repulsive or awful contents. STBH says she can't refuse chocolate - of all things. Hmm.
I'm taking my reribution underground. Secret war. I'm not above it.
LMAO!
OMG, all of you are so funny!!!
NCP should have rights too!
At least I dont ever have to worry about bm giving me or dh anything...esp. something to eat...she cant cook,lol,...dh said their whole marraige was eating out or him cooking.
Alum
Have you ever tasted that? Just sprinkle a little on top, call it powered sugar and viola, sit and watch her face as she takes a bite. She won't get that taste out of her mouth for days. It is a harmless spice to ingest but extremely nasty tasting if it is not cooked into something. Hey, what can you say? It's your first time baking THAT kind of pie, right?
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
She already...
Has a nasty taste in her mouth, I doubt she would notice that! I am surprised she can live with it as it is!
Thanks for the suggestions - I am definitely leaning toward either something which will cause frequent bowel movements and an inability to control them - or something which will simply delight me in the knowing.
That makes for a fun thread about fantasy retribution!
I could think of PLENTY of things
But I think the vas majority of what I have in mind would land you behind bars. A miniskirt- puuuuulllleeeeezzzz, pardon me while I barf. Aren't you supposed to return plates with food??? She would never suspect.... I like the exlax idea- she sounds like she has shit for brains anyways, she can release some of that- her head is getting a little too big.
Daddys Gurl-
Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.