PITA 19 has been in college for a month now. Amazing how life at home as changed. But his "sweetie" is still in high school here, so he has only stayed up at school two weekends. When he is here, he makes live miserable. Long story short, "sweetie" is lying to her parents about where she is, and he's been sneaking her into our house late at night. 3 weeks ago when he was home, Loghead told PITA she couldn't stay here anymore. So last weekend, I was up early in the morning, getting ready to go to the gym, and I see the two of them sneaking out of our garage. She gets into the car and leaves. When Loghead confronts him about it, he denies it, but loghead tells him no use- he caught it on survellience. (Theft problems- motion activitated camera) So PITA apologizes and says it won't happen again. That night, he doesn't come home, sent a text he'd stayed at a friends. Mother in law comes for dinner Sunday night before he goes back to college. His ride for back to school picks him up and they're both gone. While cleaning dinner, MIL comments about how they'd stayed at her house the night before. When he'd told us he'd be at a friends.... So when we said not here, he takes sweetie over to Grandma's?! Grandma was livid when she found out. Loghead had a heated phone call with PITA that night, and again promised it wouldn't happen again.

So he's home again this past weekend cuz he had an ortho appt. He and sweetie goes to a party at "so and so's" house, and he says he's staying there. Loghead says no, be home, ALONE, by midnight. We wake up the Saturday. No PITA. He never came home. Sent a text around 1 am that he didn;t have a ride home so he just stayed. A friend brought him home around 1 in the afternoon. He's home a few hours, then takes off again with friends, but does come back with sweetie for dinner. Makes a total ass of himself at the table. Very rude and disrespectful. Loghead and he get into an argument. PITA and sweetie leave. Loghead's last words to him were to be home by 8 am cuz they had work to do Sunday morning.

No idea where he slept Saturday night. Once again, he got what he wanted cuz he left in anger, giving him an excuse not to stay at home...

And I've failed to mention this causing tension between Loghead and I. Loghead is letting PITA get away with shit instead of manning up and putting his foot down. And it's killing me to see him bend over and sacrifice things we want so that kid can have a better life and all we get is shit from him...

Sunday morning he shows up at 7:45 am to go run the job with Loghead that needs to be done. Loghead says nothing to him about his attitude of behavior.

So I pull him aside. I tell him he's being an ass and disrespectful. I remind him of how hard his father and I work so he can have the college life he wants, and this is how he repays us? I ask him not to come home for awhile, until he can act like a man, and quit sneaking around with his girlfriend, and respect his family and the way he was raised.

About this time, his ride back to school pulls in driveway, and Loghead comes out to see what we're talking about. His parting words are "i've always hated this fucking family, and I'm never coming home again."

Loghead starts yelling at me, "What did you do? What did you say?"

PITA drives off with his friend, sweetie hops in her car and follows them.

I tell Loghead I stood up for him, That I was sick of the kid walking all over him. I told him I wasn't sorry for a word I said, and that I meant it. I didn't want him here if all he was gonna do was treat us like shit.

PITA sent me two texts, saying he has always fucking hated me, and can;t understand what Dad sees in me. "You've never loved me, never done anything for me except make my life hell. DOn't ever talk to me again."

I sent back that I was sorry he felt that way, but I would respect his space and not communicate with him until he was ready. I told him I was sad he couldn't see the love I have always had for him. He sent back "you can't see what's not there bitch."

Nice. I'm not even going to begin the list of things I have done for that kid over time. But it's easier for him to be mad at me for doing Mom things, then to be mad at his actual Mother, who never did shit for him, except give him her crazy messed up genetics.

And as always, my role as stepmom is actualized. It's always been easier for Loghead to be mad at me instead of the skids. Heaven forbid someone point out the disfunction and make somebody face the truth and honesty of it. But i'm not gonna sit back while the kid I have loved and raised since he was three treat me or my husband like that.

And mostly Loghead is mad at himself, because he knows I did the right thing. it's like he was just sitting back the whole time, waiting for me to build up enough anger to do his dirty work for him, to be the "bad guy."

So loghead silently fumed the rest of the day Sunday and on into Monday.

And on Monday night (while I was nearly dying in bed with the flu), PITA sent Loghead a long text message about how sorry he was for being rude and disrespectful, and thanking him for helping him get to college. He offered to meet Loghead at the job site this weekend and help get some work done, since he knows Loghead took the extra job to have money for some college bills due in Novemeber... That put Loghead in a better mood, and by bedtime, he was helping me since I was so sick...

No apologies to me yet, from PITA or Loghead. Those will probably never come. But once again, I did the dirty work, adn there was a positive outcome. IDK when he will come home again, and hopefully he will have a better attititude. But for now, all is well...