Umm..Your suggestions on how I should handle this or not? *WARNING* TMI
Okay ladies... This is something that really bothers me. I spoke to my mom about this and she agrees with me on this. I have never personally dealt with this before because our daughter is only 8. Soo here it goes...
SD12 just started her first period in December. I have talked to her about this and many many many other private things before this. I talked to her about pads and tampons. How they're used and how to dispose of them. We have even talked about shaving the bikini area. But remember..I'm the evil step mother and she refuses to speak to me.
Anyway, back in december, I get a text from DH. The text was from SD to DH. DH forwarded the text to me then immediately called me. I won't say word for word what was in the text because it was quite graphic, just the jist of Dad, I started my period. I'm scared. Now..SD sent this text to DH from her room which is just a few feet away from the kitchen where I was standing reading the forwarded text lol DH calls me. I giggle and ask him if I needed to communicate to SD through him. He didn't find it funny. I did. I have told her over and over, until blue in the face that she can come to me with anything and we can talk, I've told her not to be worried or embarrassed etc..but she still texted DH with a quite graphic text of her bodily functions. I am far from a prude and so is DH, but I could tell DH was a little bit uncomfortable with how graphic her text was. I told him I would go talk to her. I did.
I explained, in detail, again about whats going on and why. I told her it's natural and blah blah. I even tried to make light of the situation by making her giggle a little. I told her about making sure she stays clean and about hygiene etc.. HERES MY POINT-->>> I told her that when she is disposing of a used pad/liner to roll it dirty side in and wrap it in a bit of toilet paper and throw in bathroom garbage. No other special care needed. I told her she could even wrap it in the plastic of her new pad. Not to flush them etc.
WHAT DO I FIND IN THE FAMILY BATHROOM? THE ONLYYYYY BATHROOM IN OUR HOUSE?!?!?!?!?! DIRTY pad face up! Not even attempted to be hidden out of sight or covered. Right/dirty side up on top of trash. Yesterday..SD's chore was to empty bathroom garbage. WHAT DO I FIND 10 MINUTES LATER IN THE EMPTY TRASH???? Filthy pad filthy side up in trash.
It's not only SD who lives here. It's me, her father, DD8 and DS5. Do I want to explain to our 5 year old boy what that is? No, not yet.
Has DH said anything to me? No. Has he noticed it? Oh I'm Sure! Has he said anything to SD12 about it? Not that I'm aware of.
Is this normal behavior? I don't know. I've never lived with any other women except my mother and grandmother. My friends have never left any surprises for me in my trash. I never once saw something like that in their trash and when my mom had my talk with me, she told me the same thing I told SD-Wrap it up. I thought this was what women did. I feel like it's almost natural instinct to want to cover it..I don't want ANYONE looking at my used pads--eeewwww.
Maybe SD doesn't want to do it because her sister and aunt on BM's side don't do it? I don't know. SD goes over to their house EOW, so I don't know. SD lives with us full time and never sees BM, so I can't say thats what BM has taught her.
Is it just me? Is this common?!
Also, since I've told her 2 or 3 times how to handle it, should I mention to DH that HE needs to handle it now?