You are here

Did you get the memo? Hell has frozen over and I have pink pigs flying around my house!

LaMareOssa's picture

I'm actually very surprise this has happened. I never thought it would. I just assumed everything would stay the same. Wow!

I usually never talk bad about DH, he is such a good man. He has done his best regarding our situation with SDstb13. But, since SD has started Jr High 7th grade, he has been slacking. I don't know why, but he hasn't been parenting the way he has in the past and the way we parent our 2 kids, DD8 and DS5. It seems like he was letting SD slip away and get away with everything. And I have actually wondered to myself if SD might be better off with her crazy BM (I know she wouldn't)

So..Since Sept, DH has slowly been letting up on SD. I have blogged about him hovering during homework and pretty much giving her the damn answers, which we all know IS NOT helpful. Then, he has been letting her text, snap chat, or whatever it is thats she doing on her Ipod/phone at night in bed. I didn't say much. I'm almost completely disengaged. Her grades are slipping, she is barely maintaining the C's she has, which I know for a fact that she only has those C's thanks to DH's answers.I have talked to DH about her waiting until he comes home to help her with homework and how it takes all of his time away from our 2 kids and family time. He said he will figure it out. I doubted him. Well the other night DH finally mentions to me that he knows SD doesn't care about anyone or anything. She doesn't care about family or school and she seems to ruin all of her friendships. DH said things need to change.

Yesterday, SD snapped at DD8, DD asked SD what was wrong. SD ignored her. DD told SD that she looked sad and upset and wanted to make sure SD was okay. SD snaps and said " I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO U!" I was driving when this happened..good thing! I told SD to not to speak to her sister that way and to not be rude when someone is asking a genuine question and that DD actually cares. SD didn't say anything. Of course she didn't say anything-She doesn't care.

I tell DH about what happened and I told him something is definitely going on that SD isnt telling him. DH had a talk with SD lastnight. He told her to stop treating people like shit because shes upset. She tried to use an excuse that her mother would use "Oh, someone called me a name last week and I'm still upset about it." He told her that she can come to us if there are troubles at school, or go to the counselor at school, but taking it out on siblings and family is not okay and it's not an excuse that will work. He told her we have noticed her mood swings and nasty attitude and that he will not tolerate her hatefulness any longer. He also gave her this list

-Fill out planner from school daily. Include assignments and all homework for the day. Have LaMare check it every single day. If it's not done, no Ipod/phone/soccer.

-All homework will be completed before he gets home from work. LaMare will check and help with said homework. If not done same consequence.

-No electronics at all until DH is home from work. No closed bedroom doors, unless changing clothes.

-All homework, projects, etc, will be done at the kitchen table. No exceptions.

Now, this may seem like common sense, normal household rules, but it's not. These rules apply to our children, but have never affected SD. I'm glad DH is finally getting serious about his daughter and actually parenting her now.

SDs response? None..DH asked if she would like to argue or defend herself, she said no, she didn't care. UGH


Jsmom's picture

Why are you checking the homework. Bad idea. She is going to get more hostile and you will be her punching bag.

I am "mom", but I do nothing with homework and it is better that way. Se still has to do it, you just don't have to check it off that it is done.

LaMareOssa's picture

You guys! Why do you have to make such good point? lol youre right. I wasnt thinking about it that way. :sick:

ChiefGrownup's picture

Sounds very much like my sd15. Mean and snarly. When called out on it (rarely), "oh I had a hangnail/x happened at mom's house/a butterfly flapped its wings in China, sniff sniff!" Just like her mother.

Then when consequences occur -- "Fine! I don't want my phone anyway!" It's always she doesn't care. It's a bit sociopathic, if you ask me.