Hey everyone..I've been thinking and I would love your Honest advice and thoughts
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I realized this would be the perfect place to come for the advice I need. A place where real people have actually dealt with difficult teenagers in real life, not someone who wrote a book about teenagers, who never had teenagers in their home!
DH and I have two kids together, DD8 and DS5. DH has full sole custody of SD13. Ever since SD was about 6 or 7, I realized that I was NOT going to raise our kids the same way BM raised SD. DH now has custody of SD, but it seems the damage from living with BM and her crazy family has already been done. SD13 is in 7th grade and SD has never really cared about school, BM never made SD do homework and school was never a priority in BM's house, SD playing soccer was the priority. So, it's like DH is having to undue nearly 10 years of bad parenting on BM's part. Anyway... I told you all that to tell you this: SD doesn't care about anything or anyone and now that DD is 8, I'm starting to think about the future. I am so afraid of DD8 turning out like SD. DD is very ambitious and does great in school, the teacher is thinking DD might need a gifted program. DD has always tried her hardest when it came to school because she actually WANTS to have good grades and she actually ENJOYS learning new things. DH and I have always made school a priority for DD and she knows(or seems to understand) how important an education is. She is always talking about her dreams of what she wants to do when she goes to college.
Now, I can't say "Oh, I'll raise DD the way I was raised" Nope. NO WAY. I've never talked about this, but my own BM didn't give a damn when I dropped out of school in 9th grade. She even helped me drop out by lying to the school. Anyway.. I just want our kids to stay focused on their education. I want DD to be happy and healthy and I would hate for her to hit middle school and think "screw this, I'M GROWN NOW!" With everything happening so much earlier than when we were kids, I am just scared to death for DD. DD and I are very close, but she knows I'm mom and not her friend. At this point, DD feels she can talk to me about anything and I would hate for that to change when she is 11 or 12 or 13. It seems there is a very fine line to walk and I'm just worried. DH said he has talked to some of SD's friends' parents and they seem to be having the same issues with their kids that DH is having with SD. I know 12 is a very difficult time and teenagers are challenging, but I'm hoping to get advice now so I can better deal with DD when the time comes....