PAS...Why do they do it?!?!?!?

It's been a couple of months since I've been here. Nice to be back. Everything is still the same. SD is now in the same school as BD5. Now DH and I know when BM doesn't send SD to school and when everything is happening(Nice perk)

Apparantly, BM has a job. WOW!!!!!!!!! From what SD says "She paints the dots on the roads." and "They wanted her to paint Azteca, but they didn't" I don't know if she has a legit city job(would blow my mind) or if she is doing community service! LMAO

A few weeks ago, BM said she had to work late, so her friend would be picking SD up after DH's visit. DH suggested that SD just spend the night, instead of keeping SD up past 10. BM agreed, hesitantly. Then a week later, BM said she had to work late again. Before DH could suggest SD spending the night, BM says, in front of SD "And don't ask, she already said she does NOT want to spend the night at your house." I could understand if our house was a horrible place to be, but it's not. SD has her own room with her own bed(better than the airmattress she sleeps on) DH asked SD why she didn't want to stay, SD said "I don't know. Mom said I didn't so I don't"

There are so many other things that BM does. SD is so afraid she will upset her mother. Oh, and I don't understand why you would want to fuck your child up in the head, just to hurt your ex! It makes absolutely no sense. BM doesn't make SD do her homework, knowing that DH enforces it while SD is here. BM doesn't make SD bathe, even after DH has argued with BM about it. BM acts like Super Mom and Mom of the Year, but she doesn't do anything to help her children excel or succeed. BM has made it very clear that she does NOT want SD to have a normal, healthy relationship with her father. DH wants nothing but what is best for SD, and BM seems to want the complete opposite, knowing that it hurts DH.

I know BM is PASing out SD, slowly but surely, I am watching it unfold. I can see SD is really messed up in the head and BM is doing nothing but trying to make it worse.
I think DH has given up, he knows that no matter how much he tries, the PAS will win.

LaMareOssa's blog
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Ugh...we have a BM that PAS's

Ugh...we have a BM that PAS's the skids too. DH and SS (and BM as she pushes her way in :sick: ) are working with a psychologist right now. He sent a dvd home that SS had to watch with his dad first, then with BM. It's about PAS. Welcome Back, Pluto: Understanding, Preventing, and Overcoming Parental Alienation

http://www.warshak.com/alienation/pluto-dvd-2.html

I watched it and highly recommend it. I think it's better if you watch it under the guidance of a therapist. It seems to be helping some, but it's still early in the process. The DVD is aimed at kids and teens but has helpful tips for adults too. We figured BM isn't ever going to change, so we need to educate SS (hopefully SD too but she's 19).

I think our BM PAS's because of fear. She was supposedly abused as a child and she's got (cough) psychological issues. To her the fears are real, to the rest of the world, not so much. I try to remember that, but it really pisses me off, especially since skids spend most of the time with her. Lots of time to brainwash them!

Anyway, I feel for you! Don't give up!! Watch the DVD! Good luck!

Go to Dr. Richard Warshak's

Go to Dr. Richard Warshak's website- Google his name and you'll get a link. He sells lots of materials for those fighting pas, both for adults and children. My DH bought some of his books. It was so freeing for him to read about how thousands of other dads and kids go through this. He felt validated, and he learned good strategies to help him and the kids.

He also bought stuff for the kids there too. In particular, I'd recommend "Welcome Back Pluto," a dvd that touches on pas in a way kids can understand. I'd highly recommend getting this and some other kids books from that site for SD.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family, especially DH and SD. Studies show that kids with involved, loving dads do much better (even when mom & dad aren't together) than those who don't have such dads in their lives. I saw pure heartache from DH when BM was trying to alienate the kids from him. I can't imagine how he felt.

People who practice pas should lose custody of their kids for good and be prosecuted for child abuse.

I put the link in my post

I put the link in my post above yours!

People who practice pas should lose custody of their kids for good and be prosecuted for child abuse

AMEN!! I agree 100%. They are damaged for life.

PAS...Why do they do it?!?!?!?