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I said I wasn't going to do anything when it comes to SS's visit.... but....

justmakingthebest's picture

Here is my dilemma. DH's birthday is Sunday. I had planned a nice dinner out with my family, SS21 and my bios for DH for Sunday. 

SS17 is SUPPOSED to be here Monday. Do I push the dinner to Monday so SS can potentially be there?

Keep in mind he has told DH he isn't going to come, even though the plane ticket has been purchased. 

DH enjoy's celebrating his birthday (something I can't relate to lol), I am afraid that no matter what I choose to do, I will make the wrong choice. 

If SS doesn't show up and we waited for him to get here, I think DH will just be hurt and not enjoy himself.

But if he does show up, I think DH would appreciate him being there too... but DH won't be able to have a drink- because we still can't do that around SS. It would kind of suck to not have a birthday beer! 

I don't think BM or SS would respond if I asked them to just let me know so I know what to plan for DH because neither of them give a flying F about DH. 

Tell me what to doooo!!!

A- Keep the celebration on Sunday and just say that is his actual birthday so that's why I did it.

B- Postpone for Monday so that SS might be there. 

And do I attempt to ask SS or BM if he is getting on the plane? 

Comments

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Keep your plans as is.  If by any chance SS appears (highly unlikely), your DH can have a fun 1-2-1 birthday celebration with him on Monday.

Edit - And definitely don't contact BM or SS.  I can see them lying and completely ruining the occassion.

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Keep the plan as is. I think it would be more disappointing to your DH if you moved it and SS did not come for spring break, versus having a birthday dinner on his actual birthday where he can relax and have a beer or two if he wants to!

I wouldn't even ask BM or SS anything because you can't count on a response nor an honest response.

I totally understand where you are coming from and are trying to do something nice for your DH, but unforunately your SS has spoiled many things in the past and is not reliable so I wouldn't give him a chance to put a damper on your DH's celebration.

IF SS comes on Monday, maybe consider making some special dinner at home or ordering take out or something that is celebrating DH a second time, but not as big as the night before. Unforunately, I don't think your SS will have a care in the world it is your DH's birthday so I wouldn't change anything around him.

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

I LOVE that idea!

Stepdrama2020's picture

You dont want the lil prick to ruin the celebration. Besides he is saying he isnt coming on Monday. BONUS for you if he doesnt. Guess he wants everyone to beg him to be there. What a prima donna. 

Dont worry about not making the wrong choice. In step land the SM always makes the wrong choice according to the entitled skids. So you keep as planned.

 

ESMOD's picture

Keep the current dinner ON his birthday.  that's it.  the kid likely wont show anyway.. and the downside possibility really outweighs anything.

Besides.. if your DH wanted to wait for him.. he would have told you to delay it.  he didn't.. just ignore his SS

Ursula's picture

A for sure! 

And I would not attempt to contact SS or BM.  

advice.only2's picture

Option A, part of being an a$$hole that never thinks of anybody but what Mommy Dearest tells them, means they miss out on important things becuase they choose to only listen to Mommy Dearest and refuse to look at reality.

Felicity0224's picture

Keep it as is! You should never again in your life plan a single thing around SS. Even if you move it and he ends up being there, surely his very presence would put a damper on the whole thing given that he's been such an ass. No, y'all go out on the actual birthday and truly enjoy yourselves!

justmakingthebest's picture

Thanks for the reality check, I hate second guessing myself. DH really is a good man and I just want him to feel special. 

Harry's picture

Control your life.  Keep your plans, have a nice drama free dinner on Sunday, have good drinks, good time.  Don't let SS screw up DH birthday.  If he does show up on Monday. You can go out again,  with travel Monday May not be good.  Try for Tuesday,  If SS does caused drama so what. That up yosur DH to deal with 

SeeYouNever's picture

Keep your plan for Sunday and if SS shows up do something again on Monday. If your DH enjoy celebrating his birthday then he'll definitely enjoy celebrating it twice. 

CajunMom's picture

Have your celebration as planned and if SS17 decides to come after all, then do a mini celebration at home. I would NOT alter any plans on an "if" for anyone but especially PAS'd stepkids.

lieutenant_dad's picture

If SS gives a damn about your DH's birthday, he'll call on Sunday. Or he'll say Happy Birthday on Monday. Or he'll take DH out while he is in town.

You don't need to change your plans to include SS especially since he says he won't be there. If he shows, he can figure it out.