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CLOSURE

jojo68's picture

SD18 moved out a couple months ago. Our home has been peaceful. My stress level has diminished. I quit feeling like a prisoner in my own home but something was still missing. Closure from the years of mental abuse that she has put me through or I should say that I allowed her to put me through. Couple days ago she came over to our home to do her laundry all while have a mental episode because her father wouldn't let her use his vehicle (long story short she has proven she is not responsible enough to drive). Instead of just coming to him and asking him, she text him...one text after the other like a crazy person and then had the nerve to start up with the" you don't love me crap" after all the hell she has put him through over the years. She has done this many times before but this time....I snapped. I completely lost my S*it and told her off...10 years of built up anger came out. DH is backing me up.

That is just what I needed to put closure to my relationship with her. I wish her well but I don't want anything to do with her. She knows how I feel and can finally move on and eventually get past this anger that I feel for her. I have never felt such a life sucking emotion as this. I am putting it in God's hands to heal me.

If you all have any extra prayers please send them this way and if anyone has a similar story to tell do tell.

Comments

jojo68's picture

She had some excuse about the water being turned off where she was living but yet she could take a shower. I honestly think the only reason she came over was to see if her dad would cave and let her use his brand new truck. I think that next time she will ask him to take her to the laundry mat...*ROFL*

CLove's picture

I have SD19.5, who a few months after she turned 18, just ghosted us. Never officially moved out, just faound another place to be, leaving all her clothing, and dirt and trash behind. She had been horrible to me, caused much stress and issues in my relationship with now DH.

She even pretended to be ok with us, until recently, when she blasted DH about what a horrible person he was, and how horrible and mean and rude I was. This after did her taxes for free and got her 1400 back. So all this time harboring hatred for me and anger towards DH. They arent really speaking at this time.

I still have so much anger towards her and BM, Toxic Troll. I dont have any techniques because I am in the same boat, except you were able to express your feelings to her, wheras I just told her "we love you (now away with you)", and left it on her. Her choices and her decisions - so she cant play victim, with me being the mean one.

Thats great that DH is backing you. My DH is also having my back, and has said that our marriage is number #1, and if she cant accept it, and if she wants to be angry and push him away, thats her loss.

Of course, when she neded money, she was ok with asking fo $400. Telling him Toxic Trollwas going to kick her out, etc.

jojo68's picture

I fortunately have never had any issue from BM...SD doesn't spend any time with BM and never has since I have been around and that has been over 10 years. Thanks for sharing!

ybarra357's picture

It’s going to take time to heal.  I too, told off adult SD after 3 years of allowing myself to be a doormat.  That isn’t me!! I had to step up and take my power back.  My DH didn’t necessarily back me up as he was horrified that I would rip his precious a shiny new one.  That cow had it coming.  She burned and trashed my belongings, stole my photos and put them on her social media calling me terrible names.  After I confronted her, she left and it's been 10 glorious years without her presence in my life.  Yeah, I moved on, but damn, you never really forget. 

jojo68's picture

SD ransacked our room going through all my things and just taking whatever she wanted. Several times actually. I felt violated. I am so insignificant to her that she doesn't acknowledge my existence so I never had the pleasure of being put on social media.

notasm3's picture

I have never felt so violated in my life as when SS34 and his GF moved into our home when DH and I were on vacation.  They slept in our bed  ( our guest room has an even better bed) , helped themselves to whatever they wanted and ransacked our home hoping to find dh’s medical marijuana or any leftover pain pills from our surgeries.  They either drank or stole 5 1.5 litres bottles of booze.

I never got any apology.  They just said I needed to get over it.

They will NEVER be allowed back in my life or in my home.  I’d be an idiot if I did. 

DPW's picture

Sometimes we simply need to "lose our sh*t"... lol

I'm glad that this is providing closure for you!