You are here

Realizing the damage done

jojo68's picture

I never realized the how damaged the relationship between SD18 and I until these past few days. She went through a very traumaic experience. One that would mess anybody's head up and I wouldn't wish it on anyone to have to experience such a bad deal. She has also in the past two years had a couple traumatic losses as well.

Were the moral of my story comes in is how little I feel about it all. I don't feel bad for her as a matter of fact I blame her for putting herself in a situation where clearly what happened was bound to happen. I have no sympathy for her, I even think she is hiding something (police matter). It was her choice to get mixed up with bad people. I think that everyone has had a hard time in their life and it is your own choice how to cope.

She has treated me like a POS for so long that I finally truly do not GAF anymore. I never realized it until now since this happened. I don't feel anything for her at all anymore which is really sad. Her father is so beside himself about everything and I feel bad for him having essentially a toddler on his hands again. Someone who has to have constant supervision and has to be watched all the time. It must suck to have a kid that you never know from one minute to the next if they are going to be pregnant, in jail or dead. This is what it has come to from being a mini wife allowed to do anything she wants and treat people however she wants to being an adult who is completely out of control. Of course as always DH is defending her...she has no fault in anything that has happened...its everyone else's fault and his little baby girl is perfect and has really had a hard life.

She is supposed to go see a counselor today so good luck to the counselor. She will play the poor little innocent baby who misses her grandmother(passed suddenly a couple years ago) and have the couselor manipulated too.

I look at the person I have become. I never thought I could be so cold but unfortunately this is what I have become from years of dealing with the emotional abuse that this kid has dealt. SMFH






moving_on_again's picture

I also feel bad that I don't really "care" what happens to skids. SS17 drives like a maniac and last April he rolled his GF's dad's truck 2-3 times and thankfully both him and the GF were ok. The GF's brother just died less than a year before that in a rollover accident. I can't imagine how that kid's mother felt. Anyway, DH takes off to the wreck as soon as he hears. And I just went back to watching TV. It kind of frightened me how little I felt about the situation. I knew SS was ok, DH had already talked to him but I really couldn't muster up any more feeling other than relief that it wouldn't cost me any money. 

moving_on_again's picture

Me too! I would give a common stranger the benefit of doubt, too. I don't believe a thing the skids tell me. What's dumb is that they don't even need to lie to me but they still do. It's second nature. Their lies never hurt me. 

MoominMama's picture

This is what happens when someone keeps treating you badly and with disrespect. Same here for me, i just don't GAF anymore.

Aniki's picture

I used to feel bad that I didn't care about the skids until the SDs tried to gaslight me last year. At that point, my give-a-crap meter vanished for them vanished. I have reached out SO many times, only to have my hand slapped time after time after time.

I am NOT responsible for the trainwrecks that are the SDs and PigPen. YOU are NOT responsible for the trainwreck that is your SD.

We are proof that it is possible for someone to be continually treated so shabbily, that it destroys the part of us that cared about them at some point.

Evil3's picture

I don't think it's just SMs who lose that empathy for their evil SKs. One time, SD went to a party and a girl was abducted by four men, thrown into their vehicle, driven around for hours and repeatedly raped and beaten by all four men. She was described as being so hysterical and traumatized that the police had to conduct an investigation to get the girl's identity. At that time, SD showed absolutely no concern at all for her classmate. None. No concern, no feeling, not a single word. She didn't even bother to pretend. SS and his GF were disgusted, so when a few months down the road, a similar crime occurred and the news bulletin came out to account for our DDs if they had been in a certain neighbourhood at a certain time (due to another girl being so hysterical and traumatized), SS and GF told me that they wouldn't give a flying heap if they found out the second victim was SD. The crimes were so horrific that they shook the entire city and people all over were admitting to losing sleep for quite a while over the trauma of knowing that a community member had experienced such a horrific crime. So, the first victim remained unidentified and yet normal people all over were losing sleep over it. There was SD bouncing around merrily and didn't give a flying fuck about her classmate (we knew her ID since she was SD's classmate). So, the second crime turned out to be a false report, thank God! Anyway, I think even DH was disgusted by SD's total lack of empathy for the girl. SS and GF were floored more by SD's coldness than the crime itself. It was also the very last straw for me and when I knew that I will always loathe that loathesome sack of sh*t. Whenever bad things have happened to SD like her BF dumping her, I actually had to hide my glee. I know it sounds evil, but I can't conjure up concern that just isn't there. I've tried. I even brought it up to my therapist to try to develop empathy for SD for when she was bullied at her work and getting dumped, but nope! Not happening. My therapist even vindicated me on that.   

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I never understand people who pity those who are just finally getting their dose of Karma. There’s nothing to pity, it’s very simple cause and effect.

jrpartner's picture

Completely understand where you're coming from, and am in a similar situation under different circumstances.  At this age, kids that are young adults are making their own decisions regardless and often in spite of what we (I'm the Dad/Stepdad) say and do.

Siemprematahari's picture

It's natural to feel that way over someone who has hurt, betrayed, and lied to you. Its like you grow numb and whatever little you had left they seem to take that from you too. So don't feel bad about your feelings. Whatever poor decisions she makes is on her and she will have to pay the consequences for them. For you to continue allowing her to abuse you would be insane.

Keep your head up and continue to push forward in a positive light.