Realizing the damage done
I never realized the how damaged the relationship between SD18 and I until these past few days. She went through a very traumaic experience. One that would mess anybody's head up and I wouldn't wish it on anyone to have to experience such a bad deal. She has also in the past two years had a couple traumatic losses as well.
Were the moral of my story comes in is how little I feel about it all. I don't feel bad for her as a matter of fact I blame her for putting herself in a situation where clearly what happened was bound to happen. I have no sympathy for her, I even think she is hiding something (police matter). It was her choice to get mixed up with bad people. I think that everyone has had a hard time in their life and it is your own choice how to cope.
She has treated me like a POS for so long that I finally truly do not GAF anymore. I never realized it until now since this happened. I don't feel anything for her at all anymore which is really sad. Her father is so beside himself about everything and I feel bad for him having essentially a toddler on his hands again. Someone who has to have constant supervision and has to be watched all the time. It must suck to have a kid that you never know from one minute to the next if they are going to be pregnant, in jail or dead. This is what it has come to from being a mini wife allowed to do anything she wants and treat people however she wants to being an adult who is completely out of control. Of course as always DH is defending her...she has no fault in anything that has happened...its everyone else's fault and his little baby girl is perfect and has really had a hard life.
She is supposed to go see a counselor today so good luck to the counselor. She will play the poor little innocent baby who misses her grandmother(passed suddenly a couple years ago) and have the couselor manipulated too.
I look at the person I have become. I never thought I could be so cold but unfortunately this is what I have become from years of dealing with the emotional abuse that this kid has dealt. SMFH