Still pissed about this weekend
So SD and ODS are close in age and go to the same school and are in the same grade (different classrooms luckily). My son absolutely loves SD (dont ask me why) and desperately wants her to be friends with him. Shes been a bully to him pretty much such since they have known each other when they were 4 and 5. Started with things like whispering that she hated him umprovoked as soon as I'd leave the room, throwing his toys out the window while he watched and cried etc. Theres been a few physical things here and there (again unprovoked) shoving, hitting, kicking, etc. Those things have mostly stopped now since we started catching it happening more and its turned more to social agression, trying to get other kids to not like him etc. Most of this time hes been a doormat and just tried even harder to get her to like him. Of course DH was embarrassed and somewhat concerned about her behavior but not overly. But now over the last couple months DS has finally started standing up for himself and fighting back some (2x now) and NOW DH is super concerned. SD was screaming and bawling and crying victim about both fights that she started because she didnt just get her way. And DH is just dying that little princess is unhappy and now hes super concerned. He even will say he knows it's her fault but he just can't the kicked puppy look off his face and of course wants to get involved and do something just because shes crying. DS apparently sat on her when she was sitting on his beanbag chair because she started throwing a fit that she was losing the game they were playing and told him she wont ever be his friend again. And she "accidentally" slapped him. We couldn't get the whole story out of them at first so just separated them and told them they had to have quiet time for awhile. DH comes downstairs and goes well arent you concerned that he was physically attacking her?
Uh are you kidding me? Of course I am, and I'm not at all okay with it under any circumstances. He needs to learn to walk away from it and its something we are working on. But for DH to come at ME after all the crap hes just let slide and only care now when his kid is being retaliated on? Infuriating. She does that crap ar school all the time too, she will cry about some kid pushed her off her chair or said something mean or blah blah. And every. Single. Time. When the whole story comes out it starts with her passively aggressively provoking the other kid and then running and crying to the teacher when they do something back. And of course in DHs eyes the big concern is always the other kid. No, your kid is a passive aggressive bully and you're enabling it. Even if he tries to hide it it's all over his face. Anytime she cries about anything no matter how fake he looks like a kicked puppy and hes about to cry. And DH should know better because he was in DS position with BM. The exact same behaviors (obviously in more adult situations but still). She would do something sneaky or underhanded and then instantly bawl and make up things about why she was the victim if he called her out on it. Talked to him like he was stupid and constantly nitpicking and laughing at him if he made a mistake etc. Like a child basically. I've pointed that out and he says he knows but nope as soon as SD is pouting hes panicking.