Readjusting after BMs house turned into a sight to see
My DH is a kind hearted, sweet and emotionally needy man. He put this neediness on the kids when he divorced...co sleeping, codependency, buying their love. All the typical Disney dad shit.
We are now talking divorce(maybe) due to our differnces in child rearing(his kids but i live there too), the lack of boundaries in the house i live in with the skids, and my total lack of privacy in the home I live in...not my home but the home I live in due to I moved in to his home with the kids even though I found the house when it was for sale, decorated it, bought or picked all of the furnishings, decor, appliances etc. I was involved financially and otherwise from the start but i didnt move in immediately.
The skids are with us 90% but after their night or two with their mom it takes a moment for them to readjust to our home. They came home Sunday night very distant. They barely said hello, put their stuff away and started with their phones etc. They just went an hour in the car without wifi. They missed the wifi more than daddeeee lol. Anyway I was glad they didnt speak to us. BM as usual dropped them off early. Only 30 mins but we were watching something so as soon as I heard them I thought oh fuk, no more quiet tv but they were distant and quiet. Hooray! Not hooray as far as DH was concerned. He called them in the room after maybe 10 mins...." what no hugs, no hello, no love you daddeeee" then he actaully said to them "do you not love me anymore?" No daddeeee we love you and the hugs and love started and Chmmy was out. Time to go to my cave. I didnt say much that night but of course stuff that irks me comes out next fight and I had to tell him that I found it to be emotional abuse to guilt the kids into affection. I told him it was bad enough that post divorce he bought their love and thrived on their codependency but actually witnessing him guilt them into being affectionate and say love you etc made me sick. These kids are laying all over him all the time but obviously needed some space and time to adjust to being home after being at crazy BMs for 2 nights.
He wonders why SD19 texts him every time she farts. She's codependent and he loves it. SD16 is distancing herself and he is throwing himself at her. Practically chases her out the door yelling PLEASE LOVE ME. Ugh. Never should have married him. I was blissfully ignorant when I didn't live there. I knew there were issues but not how bad.
I dont know if i had a question or just ranting. I mean I cant even ask is this normal or is this abusive because i know the answer. He is so f'd up & wrong but then he cries Im a good daddee. Chmmy you're so mean, you tell me the truth that i don't want to hear. Oh counseling you say? He tells the counselors, doctors, schools, me, his sister & his mother to basically piss off when they don't say what he wants to hear.