MILs birthday is more important than DS' first birthday, I guess
So FIL had asked to have SD this weekend (MILs bday) because they don't know yet that she's living at BMs fulltime. Here's the convo with DH:
FIL: I was wondering if we could get SD next weekend.
DH: Shes not here next weekend but you can stop by if you want.
FIL: I'll see what happens and let you know
DH: do you want us to stop there instead?
FIL: that would be nice. Its MILs bday and SIL is stopping by with her kids so we'd like to have all the grandkids here. Maybe you can ask BM if you can have SD for the day.
At this point DH stops replying since they only invited SD to start with and then said they wanted "all the grandkids."
Well today, DH messages MIL happy birthday and she doesn't reply (obviously pouting). FIL just messaged DH saying "I take it you aren't coming to visit."
Now first of all, this is incredibly hypocritical (see blogs: https://www.steptalk.org/blog/jcksjj/what-surprise-inlaws-stood-us-again... ) I guess it was just fine for them to blow off YDSs first birthday and attempt to make it all about SD, but MIL still expected us to show up for hers.
Second, DH and I were finally having a fantastic weekend, and our relationship has really improved in just a couple weeks. So of course there had to be some negativity from one of the "everything is all about mes" in our life. DH fell into is old pattern of feeling guilty at first but I think got over it now.