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I shouldn't be surprised

Jcksjj's picture

So DH ended up getting a civil restraining order against FIL because the criminal process for the assault charge is so slow. 

FIL was given the option to have his day in court for it, and he hired an attorney and is fighting the restraining order. Just why? Why is he wasting his money fighting to see someone who doesn't want to see him? The only reason I can see is that he feels entitled to keep harassing him. Or the inlaws think they'll still "get him under control" eventually. These people are insane.


Felicity0224's picture

Insanity. You would think that having your own child seek a restraining order against you would be enough of a wake up call for anyone to change their behavior. Or at least be so embarrassed that you drop the rope and walk away to save face. 

advice.only2's picture

He is probably fighting it because it could affect his job, at this point I doubt hes fighting it so he can continue to see DH.

Jcksjj's picture

Idk how it would affect his job though? He's a truck driver. I'd be more worried about the criminal one and saving money and energy for that. I don't think that one will affect his job either though.

I dont think he wants to see DH necessarily so much as establish dominance. That was the impression I got when he showed up here. And DH said MIL has always belittled FIL about being wimpy and he definitely goes overboard trying to act tough. So idk, it's just a waste of time to me to fight a civil restraining order. If someone wants to be left alone just leave them alone. 

To be fair though, he probably also doesn't understand how the legal system works and might have panicked being served with the restraining order and thought it was related to the criminal charges.

AlmostGone834's picture

To be fair though, he probably also doesn't understand how the legal system works and might have panicked being served with the restraining order and thought it was related to the criminal charges.

This was my thought as well. Or possibly he is one of those people who hates to "lose"/not be the one calling the shots.

Jcksjj's picture

MIL is definitely one of those people and it's definitely possible she insisted he go fight it, since she is typically the boss. Idk for sure, I just know that it sucks we have to go fight it out just to try to be left alone. All they had to do was back off a couple years ago when DH told them to and none of this would have been necessary. It's such a waste of time and energy and money. And if you don't want to deal with having a restraining order, don't show up at someone's house, refuse to leave and then punch them in the face. You don't get to do that to someone just because you're their parent. 

Survivingstephell's picture

I'd ask the judge for a psyche evaluation on FIL.  Show the video.  Bare his dumbass in court.  It's a shame it's come to this but make it work for you the best you can.  If MIL starts harassing get one on her too.  

Is DH adopted by chance?  I can't imagine having my parent come after me like that.  

Jcksjj's picture

Hes definitely both of his parents biological child.

It's really a shame that MIL is hiding behind everyone else like a coward, because she is DEFINITELY the one who needs a psychiatric evaluation. She just randomly flips out and starts ranting and raving like a lunatic. Goes on and on and on and on and won't stop. I have to guess on FILs part some of this is due to living with her and having to listen to her, because I've been about to snap just dealing with her occasionally. Its one of the big reasons we started avoiding their house. But he still chooses to stay there and go along with it so...


Harry's picture

In the end he came to your home .  Your castle   Where you pay for having the right for peace in your life. FIL started. 
He is going to lose. He will have no real reason for him to travel to your home  and start his nonsense 

Make sure yiu are in court ti give your side.  You were doing your daily praying  When he came over 

Jcksjj's picture

That's another reason it's weak of him to argue it. Many times in domestic cases there's also one person being kicked out of their home, temporary custody orders and child support involved. It makes more sense why someone would try to fight back, even if they're guilty. He's being told he can't come to our house and DHs work and can't contact a son he hasn't been on good terms with for a couple years.

Winterglow's picture

Press charges if there is the slightest violation of the order. 

Please tell me that getting a civil order doesn't mean there won't be a criminal one as well. 

Jcksjj's picture

No, the civil order won't affect the criminal part. The criminal part could take awhile though. 

Winterglow's picture

That's good to know. It's more than time that he was held accountable for his behaviour. 

Revenge is a dish best eaten cold ...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

FIL sounds a little whackadoo!

If you guys moved hours away and changed all emails/phone numbers, would FIL beat a path to your door?? I honestly question his sanity at this point. 

thinkthrice's picture

Because he doesn't want it on his record.   He won't be able to get an apartment with any sane housing provider.  His assault will definitely show up, which is GOOD!

Jcksjj's picture

They own a house that I would think would be almost paid off, they've been there probably 25 years. So an apartment probably won't be an issue any time soon. If he needs one he can just go where SIL moved after she decided paying rent was lame and got kicked out of her townhouse. Theres probably lots of people who'd be happy to spar with him there also.

thinkthrice's picture

For one of my vacancies are older people who have just sold their house.   I still do a background check.