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DH still not standing all the way up to MIL

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 10/20/2018 - 4:41pm

This is pretty much and add on to last weeks blog about MIL. FIL stopped by today and right before he left said he and MIL would like SD to stay at their house next weekend. MIL has been probing DH for more info about SDs behavioral issues and he hasn't given her the info she wants, so it's not s coincidence they are asking to have her this weekend. DH is still planning on letting her go. I know dang well MIL is going to be trying to get info out of SD and taking the opportunity to try to "fix" SD (aka undermine DH). MIL is convinced that the only problem is that SD is not getting enough attention and that her brothers and I are at fault for that. Also claims DH is neglecting her and "just doesnt like her because she reminds him of her mother). Her solution is to spoil the heck out of SD and ignore the other kids and never discipline her. I cant imagine what DH is thinking letting her go stay there when he isn't there after last weekend. I wouldn't if it was my kid. He thinks because he told FIL how angry he is ar MIL that things will be fine. I highly doubt that since FIL doesnt stand up to her at all and basically let's her emotionally abuse him himself (name calling, degrading). 

I also have a feeling that shes going to put it in SDs head even more that her siblings and I are the problem. Ugh.

Comments

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Sun, 10/21/2018 - 12:04am

I don’t have any good advice, but offer my sympathies.

I, too, have a meddling, manipulative MIL who also thinks that I am the root of all problems that SS and BM have. So annoying!

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Mon, 10/22/2018 - 8:18am

Thanks. I feel like were just an easy scapegoat for them so they dont have to admit their precious gskids might have issues.

Liltat87's picture

Submitted by Liltat87 on Sun, 10/21/2018 - 5:52am

Is DH aware of MIL's intentions?? My own mother is like that....I know how frustrating that is.

I have been married for 1 yr but dated my husband for 7 years.. my MIL is barely starting to accept me.

Whenever my SS & I have an argument.. ge runs to my MIL, SIL, & BM....but only says his side of the story... I feel they all have a jaded image of me.

Is this what is going on in you family  what kind of issues is your SD having....care to share??

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Sun, 10/21/2018 - 10:38am

I think he is aware of it but kept making excuses for why hes letting her go...well FIL wants to see her (he just did last week and will be more for holidays) etc. 

I posted about it a couple blogs ago; it was kinda long if you wanna take a look at that. Basically she lies and lies and lies and then lies about lying. Other issues are a general lack of empathy, selfishness and extreme attention seeking. All beyond what is really "normal" for a kid her age. MIL alternates between saying none of it's true (even though her last 3 teachers have all reported the same issues at school) and that it's our fault and shes perfect.

I think she not only has a jaded image of not just me but my sons (one of which is her bio gson) not only because of what SD says but necause that is how she is rationalizing in her head that SD is not that bad. For some reason shed rather even yell at her own son than admit SD is turning out to be like BM