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Fuck the christmas tree! Don't even give a shit about it anymore

DoubleUteeEFF's picture

I'm a month postpartum. My baby is colicky and needy and I do attachment parenting so It's hard to get some stuff done.
This year we have SD for Christmas and I've been wanting to put the tree up for FOREVER but have been waiting for DH to get it out.
It's been weeks (since thanskgiving) and he still hasn't done it. He just keeps putting it off. Since then we've had SD a few times and I even stated that we should take it out while she's here so we can all decorate it. Still he's been procrastinating.
Well we don't have SD again till the 19th and I'm tired of not having my tree up! So I told him today to take it out already. If I don't do it, it'll never get done!
So he takes out the tree and then stops me from decorating it saying that he rather wait till SD is here so she can partake in it.

Listen, we did this last year and she helped for about 2 minutes before she was done and bored with it. Dh isn't interested in that stuff so i'm always the one putting it up BY MYSELF. So I told him that. That i'm going to end up doing it myself anyway and I just want it fucking done already. If he really wanted her to help he should have taken it out when she was here like I told him to.
I have a small decorative tree and I told him that I can leave out ornaments for SD to decorate the small tree. He said that was fine but he still wanted her to do the big tree with me.
(it's not even like HE would be helping if she were here. It would just be her and I and then I by myself. This is just one of his things of forcing SD and I to "bond")

So then he gets all huffy puffy when I tell him no. He makes me feel bad like I'm the bad guy and now I don't even want to decorate the tree. Now I want to just cry and tell him to take it down. Fuck it all.

I haven't been on here in a while but he's been driving me fucking crazy. I seriously DO NOT LIKE HIM!!

Comments

ChiefGrownup's picture

Cry. Take a hot bath. Maybe have a cookie. Or Cheetos. Whatever comfort junk food of choice. But do not take your Christmas tree down. It's baby's first Christmas plus you get to have Christmas every year because you deserve it and don't let stephell take it away from you.

Then propose to him this scenario. You decorate the tree the way you want and enjoy it for the next week. When SD arrives, you will have 2 minutes worth of ornaments that she can put on to finish the tree. Then hot chocolate and Christmas carols for all. DH can be in charge of the Christmas carols because he's the one channeling Norman Rockwell, right? Make him do it. And if he skips Good King Wenceslaus he gets coal in his stocking!

ChiefGrownup's picture

Stop peeking in my windows, aswang!!!!!!!!!

Last night we missed a party because SD15 was taking 18 hours to do one hour's worth of homework. DH could tell I was in the corner stewing. Just at the verge of me deciding they can all go to hell, he pops up with a sack he gives to me. I look inside: a bag of Cheetos! It worked, I admit. I had to laugh so hard that he would keep a secret Cheeto stash hidden some where to get himself out of a trouble in just such a moment.

Funny thing is, he's never even seen me eat Cheeto's until that episode a week or two ago. Cuz I don't usually do it. But when the stars are in alignment, they are JUST WHAT I NEED!!!!

Maxwell09's picture

I think your idea of leaving SD the little tree was a really good idea. She only likes to decorate for a couple of minutes, the little tree should only take a couple of minutes, and what kid wouldn't like to have their own little tree just for them to decorate how they want?! Your DH is the only one making this into a big deal. Ask him why he is pushing all this on you! Does he plan on decorating the tree with SD? NO! Okay then what does it matter that it is getting done. I think you should stick with your plan and just let your DH sulk and be a big baby by himself. Go take that bath and cry and eat all of the above! Maybe next year he will get it down after Thanksgiving like you asked him this time.

No saint's picture

I didn't get to make my own Xmas tree this year. I went out and when I arrived it was up and (badly) decorated. It may sound stupid, but, for me, Christmas ended then and there.

ctnmom's picture

I did "attachment parenting" without even knowing it lol. Everyone laughed.... but now I have a lawyer, a planner, and a budding writer to show for it. Do you have a snuggie? IDK if they even sell them anymore, but it was a great way to carry baby so they could hear your heartbeat, and still have both hands free.

moeilijk's picture

I thought attachment parenting sounded great. But I like to do stuff and when my kid was a baby she slept through the night very quickly. ... so not much napping during the day. She also made it very clear that she likes to do things on her own and she likes to move around a lot.

So I put her down, and I was very glad I listened to both of our needs.

ctnmom's picture

Oh I know, like I said HOW I parented is now considered "attachment parenting". And a lot of people on both sides of our family rolled their eyes at me, but the results speak for themselves. Smile

ctnmom's picture

Yeah, I didn't do the co sleeping part- not good for baby or parents IMHO. Once in a while we'd both doze off (any of my 3 and me) during nursing but if I woke up I'd bring them to their crib.

dogtac69's picture

DH is out of line on this one. If he wanted SD to help decorate, he should have taken the tree out when you asked. At this point, if I were you, I would let DH and SD decorate by themselves. While I slept in. Childbirth is exhausting. Caring for a newborn is exhausting. You absolutely must take care of yourself, or you will be of no use to anyone, including yourself.