Talking to SD8 about the separation
Not like it matters now but I'm curious if others feel the way I do.
I have left DH. I had two options, another state 20
Hours away, or another city in current state 3 hours away. I chose the 3 hours. I want my son to see his father as much as possible. Even if it's harder on me. Moving states away is just not in the best interest of my son and his relationship with his parents. Even though the states away option is a better choice for me personally. It was a hard decision to make.
Anyway! I told DH that I wanted to speak with SD8 (she was 2 when we met) and let her know that I love her and am always here for her, etc etc.
This weekend he had her and I drove back into town and stayed with a friend. DH said he didn't want our son and wanted to spend the weekend alone with just SD. This sort of annoyed me because his schedule is pretty restricting. Considering the distance between us now and the fact that me being back in town made it so convenient for him to see his son, it upset me when he declined. But I also understood why. I guess.
One of the issues we had in our marriage was parenting together to sd. I was always made the villain. We never worked as a team. He would tell me that I needed to love her as if she was my own daughter but then get upset anytime I treated her as such. Aka. Parented her. He would leave for work and say things like "bond with her today". I always felt that he put a wedge there by trying to not have a wedge put there.
I suggested that we talk to her together. If our son was older (he's 1), we would have sat down together to speak to him, TOGETHER. So because SD isn't my biological (even though, again, he tried to force me to feel as if she was) we can't sit down and talk to her at the same time? He said he was her father and he wanted to do it alone and if I still wanted to talk to her (which I do), I'll just have to do it another time.
When? Who knows! This weekend was a perfect opportunity but nope.
She's known me her whole life. She's eight now!
This just reaffirms so many problems I've brought up to him that he never cared to resolve. It kinda hurts me. Tonight, I asked him how that talk went and he said it went well. He said he was emotional...Ans she was more so the supporter. (Eye roll). He said she was her normal giddy self and just asked when she could see us (ds and I) again. Which could have been this weekend but again...nope.