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This weekend

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

BM is throwing a fit again.

She’s pissed off that SO won’t give up this weekend. Turns out she “forgot” that she has family coming to visit her. I’m not saying she’s lying but every other time this has happened her father has called SO also about it and he hasn’t yet so that’s a bit odd.

Let’s also add that we have plans this weekend. We’ve had plans for this weekend since last year. I’ve had plans for this weekend every year for the past 5 years. The kids knew about these plans so it’s a good chance she knew too.

I’m also waiting for her to realize that summer visitation starts soon. Wonder what BS she will try this year. Last year it was “OH you mean you’re get BOTH kids for 6 weeks? Not 6 weeks with daughter and ONLY 2 weeks with my oh so prefect baby boy? Nope that’s too long.” She tried lying to the lawyers about that and of course my partner had kept those messages.

Then 3 weeks in she started crap saying SO had to return them a week early because she and her lawyer were screwing with the order. It clearly states he gets “SIX WEEKS” starting the “1st Friday after school lets out” and ending “The following 6th Friday.” Her and her lawyer tried all this crap about the first Friday counting to make him return them a week early.

What I love is of course her idea that if he doesn’t do what she says and he demands to follow the order clearly he is a horrible father who doesn’t really care about the children. No clearly him enforcing his visitation time is really just to get back at her.


I love dogs's picture

Did she offer to trade weekends or she thinks she gets them 3 weeks in a row? Either way, it is dad's right to keep his weekend. I think when you all go to modify custody, OFW should be demanded (and paid) by your SO to ensure BM is kept honest.

Also, how does a LAWYER not know how to count 6 weeks??

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

No she didn’t and even if she did the answer is no because we already have plans. She didn’t have them last weekend and won’t have them next weekend either because she works weekends. She keeps them after her fathers all weekend and the man can’t even drive anymore but if SO asks them for extra time she’ll refuse and has clearly said it’s to punish him for whatever reason she feels he disobeyed her.

They use a parenting app already so that doesn’t make a difference. He also records all phone calls now.

Finally of course they can but when BM is paying they’ll pull whatever bull they want to try and make their client happy. I’ve seen emails where the lawyer has told her whatever that was clearly a violation of the order. Most recently her lawyer told her she didn’t have to follow the paperwork that was approved, signed, and filed through the court. I saw that email and all I can think is how does this person not been disbanded by the bar. I mean the lawyer clearly told her to be in contempt of the court.

I love dogs's picture

Oh my goodness I couldn't believe what you were saying about the lawyer! I wonder if such emails could be submitted to the state as condition for disbarment?

If BM truly had family coming into town, dad should've been notified as a heads up AS SOON AS SHE KNEW and POLITELY REQUESTED this time in case it fell on his weekend.

I don't remember, but did your SO request skids every weekend for visitation since BM works or did the court not care because her dad can watch them?

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I know it’s hard to believe. It makes me wonder if the other things she said her lawyer said were true also. She’s popped off some crazy stuff in the past saying “my lawyer said…..” I saw the email myself and still have it saved. It’s clear as day. BM tells the lawyer that the paperwork in the final order is not the one she wanted. Does she have to follow it or can she follow the other one. Lawyer clearly tells her to follow the one NOT in the order.

As for their divorce. We were very lucky that the lawyer we had was someone I knew personally. The man did a year’s worth of work for less than $1000. But it came at the cost of him not wanting to fight. There were times he did but for the most part we had to go with what was “normal” by our state. We could not afford a different lawyer to fight for what we wanted. In our state “standard visitation” is every other weekend and that’s what my partner had to agree with. BM pulled all sorts of crap and the lawyer would stop her if it was something he knew he could get through a court easy. Because of that we couldn’t even get real rights of first refusal but BM wanted it modified to say it only took place after the parent or grandparent couldn’t watch the child and of course her father is who watches the kid. SO refused to accept it because it could only hurt him so none got submitted which is standard for our state.

Honestly we just needed something in place because before then BM was only letting him see the kid 1 day every other week IF he did what she wanted. She’d refuse him if he didn’t give her extra money or didn’t show up at the right place at the exact right time. Sometimes we’d go 5 different places because she was out shopping with them and we’d get there as she was pulling out of the parking lot with the kids.

Our hope is once my partner gets his VA claim accepted we will have the funds and the support to get a lawyer that can actually fight for us. Once he has VA support we can get a lawyer through them. We’re low balling it and his benefits should nearly double our monthly income and that’s not including the chunk he will get as “back pay”.

Also I really don't believe there is family. I honestly think she just wants to ruin this because she thinks she can. Yes she's that petty but she's still really pissed that my partner used his full visitation time over spring break. She tried to get half of it becuase "it's my weekend" but of course the order clearly states that hoildays come before "normal" weekends. Holidays, then summer, then normal weekends.

twoviewpoints's picture

Question. When and how did did see personal emails from BM's lawyer to BM? Or are you saying these are emails BM's lawyer sent to your lawyer (who then let his client view aka SO and you) ?

I asking because if these were emails her lawyer supposedly sent to her and she passed them on to you, I'd be seriously doubting how  legitimately real they were. She could have just about anyone with half a brain pretend to be her lawyer via email. Even fake documents. 

Just asking because playing fake lawyer would not be hard if these are suppose to be emails where she asked a question to her 'lawyer' and the 'lawyer' responds via email back to her. Did you carefully verify the email addy as to being authenic? 

And as an aside, because I don't trust liars (which your BM has prior showed herself to be), I'd have SO call and chat with Grandpa. The old 'Hi, how are you? Listen I just wanted to say I feel bad that the kids won't get to see your out of town relatives, but I had already made plans with the kids for this weekend and am locked into something already for weeks now. Maybe next time with a bit more notice we could work something out'.  

Sure, SO would be using Grandpa to get the truth (one way or the other), but Grandpa likes your SO and I'm sure he'd love to hear from SO. 

Yes 3

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

They were emails BM sent to us as proof that we were supposed to follow the order that didn’t get placed in the order.

The emails were the same that we have seen between the lawyers so BM would have to go a few extra steps to fake them and honestly I don’t see her putting in that effort, that quickly. She doesn’t have that level of preplanning or skill to edit and fake emails with those details. They could be fake, but honestly I believe so.

We already noticed things were off concerning her lawyer and the crap they tried to pull. The emails supporting BMs attempt to get the kids back early did come directly from her lawyer to ours. There were other emails sent directly to our lawyer with lies and other BS in them so really I don’t see them being false. We already wondered where she dug up this woman. Turns out the woman is family to some random man BM was screwing for a while.

SO won’t call grandpa because it won’t do any good. BM already won’t be getting the kids no matter what. If he finds out it’s true that there is family then it just creates issues that aren’t needed. If it’s not true as we believe than her father already knows his daughter is a lier. He has flat out told my partner that he is the better parent. He has apologized repeatedly for his daughter’s behavior but he fears her. We can see that she uses the kids to manipulate him. He also needs her to drive him places so he won’t do anything to upset her. All that ends up is BM screaming and yelling at my partner, possibly saying things to the kids, and her later using it to punish him.

No our plan is to stick to the order. When we can live in the same area grandpa may be willing to go against her since he knows my partner has no intent of preventing him from seeing the kids as BM has done in the past. Right now though we live an hour away and there’s nothing we can do.

Honestly I could see grandpa lying for her right now and like I said he won't say anything bad to her about it so it would just end up with her finding out that SO called her bluff and her having another fit.

I love dogs's picture

Very good response! I know how these BMs are, Trolls. As long as skids are not with dad, she is somewhat happy and in control. And how dare he take the FULL SPRING BREAK when she has them all but 4 nights and 5.5 days out of the month! Gasp!

lieutenant_dad's picture

Stick to the CO, inform your attorney you have NOT relinquished this weekend, and have them send her a letter stating that not having them available with result in a contempt charge. Then charge her with contempt if she doesn't make them available.

Aniki's picture


Also, I certainly would not trust her to "trade" weekends. Likely, she'd agree, then renege.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Agreed. That’s why the few exchanges that have happened before consisted of him getting his way first.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

We are not giving up our weekend and she was clearly informed of that. That should be enough. Thankfully she pulls crap and tries to bully him into doing what she wants but she hasn’t flat out violated the order because she knows I won’t allow it.

Not him. She hates me because before me they hadn’t even talked about going to court and he did everything she wanted because she’d threaten to withhold the kids from him. After me he called her bluff so many times that she decided to try and get the court to remove his rights which didn’t go well because she had no valid reason and was called out on her lies.

No all she can do is refuse him extra time which she does. And we’re keeping record of it and the excuses for when SO tries for 50/50.