SS12 will not make it as an adult
I always say, everyone has that one thing in life they just do better than anyone else. For SS12, it's screwing up. The quality and quantity with which he screws up is both monumental and dumbfounding all at once. I rarely see anything like it. The latest incident happened this morning at exactly 8:36 am when one of our neighbors came ringing our doorbell, waking us up, to let us know that DH's truck doors were open. Now, keep in mind, DH probably cares more about his truck than 98% of anything else in life, AND it snowed last night, AND he didn't park in the carport, so it's now wet inside his precious vehicle. DH came into the house asking, "Who was the last out of the truck last night?!?" as if he didn't know. Let's see, DH, I know how to close doors behind me, and SS14 didn't come over this weekend...I'll give you one guess, and I bet you'll be right! Could it be your child who, when he comes over, it looks like we have a poltergeist with all the cabinet/refrigerator/freezer/microwave doors open after he's used them? Not to mention he was in the truck after we had come inside looking for something he dropped under the seat?
Almost everything he touches becomes a disaster at lightning speed. If he wants to cook himself something (yay), inevitably it means pulling out the stove to clean everything on the sides or underneath that he's spilled/dropped down there (no!) because he is very careless. What he CAN clean up without moving appliances (which he's not allowed to do because he will DEFINITELY scratch up the wood floors), he doesn't, and there are constantly crumbs/sticky substances/shredded cheese/sugar/salt/garlic powder EVERYWHERE. He wastes so much food because he gets up a trillion times during meals, and forgets they're even there, then by the time he gets back, he decides it's not good anymore and throws it away (even though he's told to just cover it and put it in the fridge, but since he also doesn't listen, it ends up in the trash anyway). He acts like expecting him to bathe or brush his teeth directly violates international human rights laws, and plays DH and BM so hard when it comes to this. If DH says take a shower, he says he'll do it at BM's. If BM asks him when the last time he showered was, he'll say he did here.
The entertaining part about this is, somehow he thinks he can turn it around to be everyone else's fault. It's quite interesting to see him try to twist it around the way he does. Friday night, he was his usual wrecking ball self and managed to make a humongous mess in the kitchen, as always, and finally DH got mad at him, both for making the mess, and for not listening to him when he kept telling him to stop/watch what he's doing/pay attention. SS12's response was, "Well, technically it's your fault, dad, because you should've just done it FOR me." I had to bite my tongue and sit on my hands over that one considering I have preschoolers who can independently serve themselves food and clean up without making as big a mess as SS12 does. No joke. And some of them have special needs way more severe than SS12's ADHD, which is used as an excuse constantly.
I've come to the conclusion he's just going to have to live with BM when he grows up (CERTAINLY not with us). Otherwise, he'll just end up living in a total pit with month-old pizzas sitting on the greasy, busted-up coffee table while ants meander in and out, carrying with them the crumbs of tortilla chips past and the sugar crystals from the spills he created whilst trying to excessively sugar his coffee. The coffee cups themselves will be sitting half-full NEXT TO the empty sink, along with all the other half-meals created and forgotten about, forming a veritable Mount Everest of dishes, surrounded by all the food he left out because he forgot to put it back into the fridge, even thought the refrigerator door remains open 24/7. This is perfect for the mice who scurry across the counter to reap the bounty for feeding their families living inside the wall. SS12 himself will constantly be worrying over the numerous sores and skin infections he'll get from lack of washing, and will wonder why his teeth and gums are always sore and bleeding, while his shower and bathroom sink remain dusty and filled with spider webs from lack of use. Eventually, the neighbors will start to complain of the stench, and the police will find him sitting in his dirty, threadbare boxers with shades drawn, well into his 36th straight hour of playing Grand Theft Auto, having only stopped to order takeout and go to the bathroom, forgetting to flush the toilet, of course. They'll take him into custody and check him into the hospital because they'll suspect, due to his deteriorated physical condition, that he's probably strung out on meth. Then, when he tests negative for drugs, the doctors will send him to the psych floor to have him evaluated, because why on earth would anyone CHOOSE to live that way? This is my prediction, I'm putting it out there right now.