It's all about the money, honey
Let me start by saying I’ve been blessed with pretty good SKIDs. I’ve known them since they were in preschool. They’ve never been malicious or openly disobedient. I have a feeling their BM has made nasty comments about their BD and I but if she has, it hasn’t affected their behavior toward us.
They seem grateful for everything we do for them; however they can be a bit unenthusiastic at times. Forking over huge amounts of money for a class trip or extracurricular activity produces the same level of gratitude as you would give someone who just made you a peanut butter sandwich. I’ve lost count of how many times they’ve come to us at the last minute saying they need money for something and it’s due the next day – with no please and thank you involved. Just “I need money” with the implication that we just have to hand it over, no questions asked. Are all teenagers like this? Seems like when I was a teenager I made sure to warn my parents well in advance when something I did was going to cost money and I made sure to show an appropriate amount of gratitude.
Maybe we haven’t done a good job of teaching them how much it costs to run a household and what a delicate balance it can be trying to juggle all the bills and variable expenses. Their BM sure doesn’t give a sh*t about money. Actually, that’s wrong. All she cares about IS money and when the child support check is coming. Among the long list of things I’ve lost count of are the number of times she’s texted us (at all hours!) reminding us that we need to get the check to her by Friday. She’s also a good one for saying “YES!” to anything and everything the kids want to do and then telling us how much “our half” is supposed to cost. Without consulting us about anything first. Excuse me – our half? We pay a significant amount of child support and she still wants MORE on top of it. And my DH gives it to her! I’ve given him pep talks about standing up to her, reasoned with him about how the child support we ALREADY GIVE HER should be covering these things, told him over and over again that all he is doing is hurting OUR family (we have two children together) so that SHE can have it easy! But his dad guilt has him totally blinded. He’s convinced that if he doesn’t pay for these extra things that his kids won’t have it better than he did as a kid and they will suffer for it. Um, no. It’s called teaching your kids that you can’t always have everything you want and to be grateful for what they do have. We are headed for a sh*tstorm now that my SS is nearly old enough to get his drivers license and wants a car, but that is a topic for another post.
Now excuse me while I go have a drink and try to lower my blood pressure.