Am I going too far?
Hi, I previously posted on the teenage step children forum about SD18 and received some great advice. Unfortunately I now have another issue which I would reallyappreciate some input on.
I’ve been with DH for 5 years, and for the entire time BM has been causing conflict. I’ve blocked her from every possible avenue of contacting me, as I’ve received numerous ranting messages after she’s debriefed the skids for every minute detail of our lives during skid weekends. I’ve never once responded to her, I just simply block her and ignore (the whore)
Once we were at a carnival watching youngest SD dance, SD18 came over to see BD, which at the time I was ok with, until she picked up BD and went to take her over to BM...both me and DH called her back immediately. Shorty afterwards BM approached me, in front of the children ranting and raving that I had upset SD18, again I just walked away as there was no way I was going to argue in front of BD
A few weeks ago BM managed to message me again (new phone and I’d forgotten to re-block her!) to tell me that she thinks DH is still in love with her and she’s only telling me as I need to “look after my family”. Again (once I’d stopped laughing) I simply blocked her and moved on
Today however she’s crossed the line, she came with SD18 and knocked on my front door. DH was out with the skids, I was changing BD when I heard the knock, looked out of the upstairs window and saw them. My instinct was to run down and tell them to get away from my home, but again I was with BD so didn’t want a screaming match with her around. I ignored them and they eventually left, giggling like the evil witches they are. BM never comes here, she has absolutely no reason to, the skids have phones which she can reach them on, or she can call DH. Unfortunately a friend of BM lives on our street and I think they’ve been drinking round there and thought it would be fun to come and antagonise me (DH car wasn’t here so she knew it was just me)
DH understands why I’m upset, but is pretty powerless to stop her, and thinks if he does say anything she will just do it more.But I’m just sick of sitting back doing nothing, so I called the police for some advice, they actually took it pretty seriously and are coming around for a chat tomorrow. They said anyone contacting you and causing stress and upset is actually harassing you, and they will go and speak to her and tell her to not contact me either by phone, in the street, or come to my home ever again.
It felt good that they actually took it seriously, but now I’m thinking is this a bit over the top? I think DH is worried about the effect on the skids when they find out I’ve phoned the police about their mum
You did exactly the right
You did exactly the right thing. If you get blow back from her or the skids call the cops again.
As for the effects on the skids, well actions have consequences and if BM can’t stay away from you, then the police will be involved.
I would have a protection
I would have a protection order placed against her. Get screenshots of her texts and other messages for proof.
You are absolutely doing the
You are absolutely doing the right thing .BM and her sidekick sd18 are taking liberties. Your dh doesn't sound like he is making things clear to them that you want no contact with BM and that your child is not to be any where near her. When your sd18 approaches, your dh needs to be on it and stop her picking up your child. He needs to intervene.
The police telling her to back off might work but be prepared (if she is a narc for example) for her to actally ramp it up. You might have to take out a no contact order on her. Good luck.
Thanks for your response. BM
Thanks for your response. BM is a textbook narc, totally in love with herself, massive attention whore and thinks she rules the world. So yes she will no doubt ramp things up, but if she does anything further to me I will just report it with the police again, I have truly reached my limit with her. She works in an industry where she will have annual police checks, so hopefully the fear of anything going on her record might make her think twice, fingers crossed!!
What a nightmare!
I understand there's a way to turn a cellphone into a camera. If police plan to approach her, I'd set up something, as the police intervention might ramp her up. People like this woman scare me. You never know how far they'll go. Thankfully, my husband's ex moved far away, so the drive-bys stopped.