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Extraordinary Minimum Effort - my new term for SS16

BettyRay's picture

DH and I both worked yesterday. SS16 and SS12 were home all day.

DH asked SS16 to shovel; we got about 4 inches of snow.

DH is on the phone with me last night when he pulls into our driveway. DH’s tone changed, so I asked him what’s wrong…

SS16 shoveled 2 tracks “tire paths” from the street to the garage.

DH was steamed but SS16 had already left for his part-time job.

DH starts bitching but I shut him down. I told DH you have no to blame but yourself for SS16’s extraordinary minimum effort. When DH asked me what that was supposed to mean I said well when you practically give the boys a gold medal each time they flush the toilet, set the table, do dishes or put their clothes in their hampers, they expect tons of praise for minimum effort. Basically the SKIDS do the minimum and expect the maximum in return.

DH replies: Just wait SS16’ll figure it out, he’ll see what it’s like in a few years when he’s on his own. (excuses, excuses...)

Fast forward to later that night...

SS16 got home and DH asked what’s with his crappy shoveling. SS16 says (with a snarky grin on his face), “I lost track of time (translation playing video games was way more important) and at least you could get your car in.”

DH stood there silent. So I jumped in and said in my sweetest voice, “Oh SS16 thank you so much for putting in the minimum effort. I’m sure your dad enjoyed snowplowing BEFORE he made you and SS12 dinner.”

SS16 just stood there staring at us. I walked away.



StepKat's picture

Holy crap on a cracker LOL. I have to remember “extraordinary minimum effort” and great response on your part to his half-assery work.

Just J's picture

Ha! I love your response. And good for you for calling your DH out on his praise for such small tasks. I don't get why some parents expect so little from their kids.

This generation of young adults is in for such a rude awakening when they have to take care of themselves. I call my SS23 Bare Minimum Guy. That's the story of his life. DH told him last summer that if he wants to continue living with us, he needs to go back to college or get a real job (not part time in a dog grooming shop like he's doing). DH said he wants to see him on a path to a career and a real adult life, because he's in the exact same situation he was in when he moved in with us at 19. So what does SS do? Enrolled in two whopping classes at community college. DH said he was going to talk to him again and let him know he expected more than that, but just before Christmas SS announced he would be moving to Texas in a few months. It's honestly the most hair brained idea ever, because the kid has no savings, very few job skills and doesn't know a soul there, but I'm all for it because he needs to get out on his own already and stop acting like a teenager. Maybe he'll finally grow up.

BettyRay's picture

JMHO - I honestly believe that very few of today's young adults can handle being on their own. Parents prolong childhood by coddling their kids. My skids are so immature. I used to think it was because they were CODs, but now, after meeting their friends who aren't CODs, I think parents make it impossible for children to grow up by giving them everything and making a big deal out of little everyday accomplishments.


Willow2010's picture

you practically give the boys a gold medal each time they flush the toilet, set the table, do dishes or put their clothes in their hampers, they expect tons of praise for minimum effort
WOW! My DH does the same thing!

thinkthrice's picture

My bios are 32 and 26 (girl and boy) When they were "latch key" kids, I expected them to have the driveway shoveled in snowstorms like this. With hell to pay if they didn't complete my list of chores and their homework. Of course they are both grown, productive citizens now.

BettyRay's picture

Exactly thinkthrice. My parents expected the same from my sister and myself. If it wasn't shoveled we would have gotten spanked and then send out to shovel.


BettyRay's picture

Oh and this time of year - THE MIDDLE OF WINTER - the boys never wear boots, gloves, hats or winter coats either. Just another irritating example of the expection that people will do for them and they won't have to do for others. They are being raised to be takers.


GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

SS14 is EXACTLY the same. He and BS17 wil lbe out shoveling. BS will do the entire driveway while SS stands there in a fog doing the same three square feet over and over. The kid is super strong for his age, but lifts the shovel and grunts like it weighs a ton.

Next time his ass can be out there doing the whole thing himself. Bet he'll learn to work a lot quicker when it's all on him!

BettyRay's picture

Yes the great time-waster tricks. SS12 and SS16 do this as well. Basically look busy but really are doing nothing but watching DH and I do all the work.

I told SSons not too long ago that DH and I know what your doing i.e. slacking off, the look of shock and awe on their faces said it all.