Poor SS8!
He is diagnosed PDD (NOS) which is an Autistic Spectrum disorder. He is very tall for his age (5’9) and has a hard time making friends. He has issues with his speech and focus and tends to “spaz” out when he is tired or has a lot on his mind. He also tends to put up with a lot from other children in the hopes that they continue to like and play with him.
SD7 is no different than any other child and she has recently started treating SS8 like the village idiot! Her behavior towards SS is really wearing on me. SS puts up with so much from her. Yesterday, I had to tell her repeatedly to stop nagging/talking down to SS while we were out shopping and today, SS lied about an incident (which was bad enough to warrant VERY harsh discipline if it had been true) just to keep SD happy with him! Luckily, I saw the whole thing and knew the truth, but seriously…I’m wondering how much he’s going to have to take from her before he learns that her approval isn’t worth it if it comes at such a high price.
BM Nasty treats him the same way…it’s heart breaking but last year, SS came back from his 6 day visit with BM digressed to the point of us not being able to understand him when he spoke, his reading slid by half a grade level and his ticks got REALLY bad. SO and I both talked to him and he shared with us that his BM didn’t let him do ANYTHING on his own…she had the Skids shower together, she had SD make SS’s sandwich, she let SD do things she wouldn’t allow SS to do…and he’s older than her! She stuck him in front of the Wii and that was about all he was allowed to do! For SS’s birthday, BM sent something 3 weeks late-straight from the store, nothing personal at all. He got nothing from the rest of BM’s family (Her parents & the Skids half sister – who BM was living with at the time). For SD’s birthday however, there were cards out the gazoo from every one of them…each of them containing money and BM’s gift was there to be opened on her birthday!
I’m honestly wondering if SD is gearing up for her trip to see her BM…if so, POOR POOR SS!
Any suggestions on what we can do to get her to stop being such a twit to him? I’d use other language, but she’s only 7 afterall!
- Anywho78's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
How very sad. It is hard
How very sad. It is hard enough on our kids ( I have an autistic munchkin too) when others treat them badly...but it's truly heartbreaking when family does the same.
There is a website called www.wrongplanet.net which is wonderful and they also have a kid's & parent's forum. They are an amazing group of autistics helping others cope with the issues that autistics face.
Thanks for the replies
Thanks for the replies ladies.
SD & I have a mani/pedi date on Friday. I pulled her aside today and reminded her how a little sister SHOULD behave and reiterated that her recent behavior was/is horribly offensive to me...let her know that if she keeps it up she will NOT being getting her nails done with me because I only do fun pretty girl things with girls who do not act in an ugly fashion.
Normally when I break it down that way she takes it well...I'm just worried for SS & what he is going to be facing for 4.5 days next week when his BM & SD7 are together.
We have explained to SS about his brain & how it works...he understands that he has to work on his focus and speech. He's in counseling and has done occupational therapy. We really have worked alot with him.
As far as SD goes, I have been told that she has the same attitude as her mother as far as not really caring unless it affects something she will get to do or not do (like girly time at the salon). We will be getting her into counseling next month, hopefully that will help. I just hate the fact that I have to threaten to cut her off from time alone with me because that's what she craves the most...she has abandonment issues and clings to me when things are going on, so having to do it now, before the trip with her BM impacts her greatly.
UGH...I'll look at that website...keep me & my patience in your thoughts.