You are here

OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki's picture

Almost there! The weekend begins in a few hours. The way things have been going, they'll be loooooooong hours...

Eff off to:

  • People still b!tching about the snow. YES, we got more snow last night. We live in one of the snowiest places and have gotten snow in May. In fact, you can still find snow on the ground in mid to late May. And you better suck it up, buttercup, because snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. Call the waaaaahm-bulance!
  • Bad breath. And I mean BAAAAAAD. As in, so bad you could knock a dog off of a gut truck at 30 paces. I don't know how your wife kisses you. I'm guessing she either has no sense of smell (or taste!) or that hers is just as bad. If I win the lottery, I'll buy you stock in Tic Tacs and Lysterine.
  • People who think I know WHY documentation for projects is MISSING. Hmmm.... let's see.... Could it be because the beeyotch who left abruptly 5 years ago didn't share ANYTHING with ANYONE? And that aaaaaaall of that stuff has had to be recreated from scratch by me? So, NO, it does NOT exist anywhere other than an elusive black hole where you will also find missing socks and tupperware lids.
  • DH. Yep, that's right. My DH. If DH thinks I'm going to let PigPen and some of his teenage buddies borrow MY canoe, he's lost his freaking mind. DH has never met these kids. Even if he had, I DON'T CARE. They're teenagers and I don't trust them. And DH has no idea if the little shi'theads can even swim. It's a damn shame I've misplaced the key to the lock for the canoe.....


Hope you have a good weekend, STalkers!!



futurobrillante99's picture

That last one - story of my last relationship. ANYTHING to win points with his offspring and offspring's friends, ex would lend all his stuff out if they asked. Typically they'd just TAKE whatever they could get their hands on - including my brand new kayaking paddle that I hadn't used yet.

In MY house, I don't have to worry about rude and entitled people taking my things and returning them dirty, broken or missing parts.

Some of these men are brain damaged trying to win favor with teens by lending out other people's stuff.

Aniki's picture

FB, I don't think DH is trying to "win points". If it was DH and PP - sure, I'd be okay with them taking out the canoe. But that is not what's happening here. I am NOT okay with a group of teenagers - who we all know can be bloody irresponsible, showing off to each other while having their fun - that I don't know anything about using my expensive property. We have two lifejackets. TWO. That's not enough. And PigPen can swim, but he's not a GOOD swimmer. I can see them all piling in the canoe, and a kid NOT wearing a lifejacket gets beaned in the head with an oar, falsl out of the canoe, and no one is a good/strong enough swimmer to rescue him.

DH thinks I'll 'find' that key and all will be peachy. Nope, no, nuh-uh, not bloody happening.

advice.only2's picture

Oh Aniki dang!! That's a list!
My Eff-Off goes out to:
Flu - Eff off nobody needs your fever causing throat hurting self in or around bodies at our house!
Eff Off to Adult Man Child - Who is being super pissy about starting his new job next week, new job is a full ride with benefits, days off, 401K you name it, but hey gotta bitch about it because at 19 you don't want a "career" yet...rolling my damn eyes!

Aniki's picture

Aw, call the waaaaaaahm-bulance! Tell Adult Man Child to sack up and deal with the reality of life. He can wear some Depends to work, if it helps.

Iamwoman's picture

Lolol! Great list of “eff offs” Aniki!

Im pretty stoked with life right now, and settling into my new job nicely. I’ve been thrown into the lead role on the biggest team project already, and I couldn’t be more in my element.

However, Aniki’s bullet on bad breath is seconded by moi. One of my new coworkers has awful breath, and when he talks it makes me want to vomit. I mean seriously, it’s called brushing, flossing, and listerine nightly as well as a quick brush every morning. I don’t understand how people can manage to fully clothe themselves daily, yet ignore their own mouth stench. Yuck.

Eff off also to....

1. My old director from my old job. Despite my courteous, thankful and polite resignation, and cheery, thankful, well written email to former colleagues, I’m not afraid to let my STalker friend’s know: You, ex boss, are one of the most pathetic excuses of a human being I’ve ever had the misfortune of interacting with. It’s mind boggling how you got your job... oh wait, that’s right, your husband is a corporate bigwig and he got you your job so you would focus your idiocy on other people instead of harassing him all day long. You’re not just a mismanaging, narcissistic, unprofessional boss, you disgust me as a human being, and will never attain even one iota of the classiness that inhabits my little pinky finger alone. Eff off forever.

2. Eff off to pollen. I’m seriously over “the pollening” season.

Have a great weekend! <3 iamwoman

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture


Aniki's picture

Iamwoman, this guy was sitting in my cube, 2 feet away, and it was all I could do to NOT gag. Even mouth-breathing didn't help. You know someone has vile breath when you can TASTE the stench. Jeepers creeepers, I'd rather taste a fart!

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

F*ck off Friday. I didn’t get enough sleep. I’m tired.

Today’s letter is C. No, c doesn’t stand for C*mdumpster or c*ck carousel. It stands for caffeine.


Aniki's picture

SayNo, we're in the same boat. I got about 2.75 hours of sleep last night and am draaaaaaagging. Unfortunately, caffeine does nothing for me. Sad

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Eff off to:

  • Job "opportunites" DH got. He's not going. But it's still dumb.
  • Work
  • Running out of labels, nearest place to buy them? An hour drive. When I tell my boss, his response? "Well there has to be some way we can resolve this." Yes. Driving an hour and losing most of my work day... So I may be going on a LONG "field trip."
  • Pollen, iamwoman is onto something there
  • DH thinking we're getting rid of perfectly good furniture... In the trash can... I figured I would refurbish and reuse so we don't have to buy some... AND for the rest we could sell it and make some cash... 
  • Psycho's weekend. Weekend off... Followed by SD6's Detox *shudder* Last week she hit a kid in the privates and screamed at her teacher... What will this next week bring?... UGH

Aniki's picture

Ermagawd, the "fabulous, yet impractical" job opportunities. Gaaaaaaaah.

Too bad SD6 didn't hit Psycho in the privates before she got knocked up again...

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

If only. Sadly SD6 hasn't learned to really target her anger to the source yet... Pity...

And yes. So fabulous. I'm tempted to ask Dh if he wants to come with me. I can swing by and grab him. LMAO

Aniki's picture

PA, SD6 obviously needs an outlet in a BIG way. Is there something physical she can do? Kinder-boxing??

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I do have my punching bag! 80 lb heavy bag may be too much for her though... Maybe I should look at getting a little speed bag and some gloves for her.

fourbrats's picture

Testing week. I work at a school. I am a test proctor (as well as 1000 other things lol). I HATE state testing. I hate being locked in a room for hours while kids take tests. I hate that some of the younger ones get so stressed out they cry. It's the one week a year I dread out of my job that I love. Tests start Monday which is ruining my Friday. 

In who don't pay attention to the schedule. Testing week is not a vacation week for you. It's been on the calendar since last year and now the rest of us have to scramble because you thought you didn't work that week. It's ON THE CALENDAR! It's unfortunate that our contracts do not allow for your time off to be denied. And you better effing cover for me the next time I ask. 


Aniki's picture

Ugh, fourbrats, that must be annnoying and frustrating! Some people will do everything they can to get out of work.

Thumper's picture

1. Anyone working in a professional setting with customers /patients who act like they have zero training what so EVERRRRRRR.  They should be fired.

2. Traffic...when traffic is backed up..your sitting at a complete stop for 10min maybe more and some asshole drives on the edge of the road, speeding UP and wants to cut in.... PFFFT LOL