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Step Lessons

AJanie's picture

This life has taught me some pretty valuable lessons. Felt I needed to add em to the blog on this fine, quiet morning at the office.

It has shown me how poisonous envy, anger and resentment are to the human spirit.

It has given me insight into motherhood that I would not have experienced otherwise. The stress, the joy, the anxiety, the pure chaos of it. I never knew a 7 year old could have the ability to break my heart with her words.

It has taught me to bite my tongue more. To write it down. To give it to God. To try as hard as I can to see the good when things feel bad. To remind myself that just because I came second doesn't mean I am "second best." Although, society seems to tell me that in a million different ways.

It has taught me that life doesn't always work out the way you imagined. That I would literally mourn the loss of what I hoped would be - as I accepted the reality of what is.

It taught me that seeing my husband interact with his kids is cute at times and painful at others.

It shook me to my core. Showed me how inferior I really felt, despite my outward confidence. Some of my worst meltdowns and petty behavior surfaced and I was forced to stare myself in the face. I was forced to take a good, hard look inward.

I know myself so much more than I ever did. I know my husband so much more than I ever did. He pisses me off so much more than I ever imagined he could (Disney Dad!). Yet, I still love the guy so deeply I would never want to lose him.

This life sucks sometimes but it certainly isn't without its blessings.

What lessons have you learned? How has it changed you?

Comments

Major Blunder's picture

I like what you had to say, learned and still learning a lot of the same. Good to see you can give it God, I still struggle with that. I always say that Life is what happens while you're making other plans. I'm still changing at least I hope so, when you stop changing I assume you're done.

AJanie's picture

I have been trying to give it to God. I was never particularly religious but I have started to "get my faith back" in recent months. It helps me to make sense of things and quite frankly, it is a good reminder to try to be a decent person (when I feel like being an evil, immature bitch -- which is quite often.)

Major Blunder's picture

lol I totally understand, I'm actually born again but by the normal view of that you wouldn't know it, I'm not a Bible banger I don't expound about my great spiritual life etc etc. I am one God's problem children, but I'm still working on it, and I think He gets a kick out of at least some of what I do. The rest he just shakes His head and writes it down, we'll have a lot to discuss someday.

askYOURdad's picture

Since we are going down the spiritual path... the serenity prayer. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

I have learned that many things are beyond my control and the importance of recognizing that.

Acratopotes's picture

I use to care about people, believe it or not, soft heart and always wanted to safe the world...

I use to care about children and believed their stories, then I met Aergia - now if a child tells me a sad story, I think oh you special snowflake get a life and I reply with... really suck it up buttercup world does not revolve around you

Step life turned me into a bitch

breakingthroughtheinstincts's picture

I love this post, thank you AJanie...

I am trying desperately to break through my instincts and love where hate festers. (I am struggling at the moment but will keep posting when I discover how!).

I have learned that I am capable of many of the darker emotions that I detest in others.

I am trying to learn that I am worthwhile, that when I am constantly being told I am selfish and uncaring - that perhaps it is the speaker who is those things by saying that to me.

I have learned that compromise is not as easy as you might think.