Why don't more couples just live together vs. marrying the "second time around"???
After reading so many posts,it seems that it certainly would be easier to deal with especially with step kids involved !!
We lived together 3.5 years before deciding to get married.
We might not even have done it then, except there are still perks tied to marriage...like getting time off from work if there is an emergency/health crisis, insurance, SS benefits, POA (especially where medical stuff is involved), etc.
I think it is a commitment thing. People seem to crave the security of a commitment and strive for the traditional family/marriage model even after a failed marriage. Not all, but many.
I for one made the best decision of my life when I decided to marry my bride of nearly 22 years four years after my divorce was final. I seriously considered never marrying again following my first marriage. I was so gun shy about marriage that I decided not to marry my wife after we had discussed it.
Then I got a call from my dad. He told me that my brother had mentioned that I was considering marrying again. I told him that I had considered it but had decided that I was not willing to ever put myself at that risk again… ever. His advice was that I was a young man (30) and I had a choice. Either go through the rest of my life with a series of partners or take another shot at building a life with someone. He also affirmed that both he and mom liked my bride very much.
My granddad also had some input on it. He told me not to sweat that my bride had a kid. He said family is family and it did not matter if the kid was “mine” (granddad was 85 at the time did not speak PC at all….. ever.) so pull my head out and get that lady.
My parents have been married for 54 years and my grandparents had been married 59 years when my granddad passed.
So, I rolled the dice.
It is the best choice I have ever made. We will celebrate our 22nd anniversary at the end of this month.
This is an awesome story, Rags!! Love it. In my case, I was married 34 yrs before divorcing. I've been living with my SO for 6 years and we are both perfectly happy not being married. Of course we are both in our late 50's. For me, not being married provides some sort of feeling of independence. Perhaps it's following a bad marriage? But I don't feel "locked in", or smothered, as I did while married. Maybe we'll change our minds down the road, but for now? It works for us.
The beauty of experience is that it helps us make life's every changing path work. If something were to happen to my bride or our marriage I would likely not remarry again myself. I am 52 and being an elder bachelor with in a commited relationship with an SO... or a serial monogamist would not bother me a bit.
We lived together 3.5 years
We lived together 3.5 years before deciding to get married.
We might not even have done it then, except there are still perks tied to marriage...like getting time off from work if there is an emergency/health crisis, insurance, SS benefits, POA (especially where medical stuff is involved), etc.
I think it is a commitment
I think it is a commitment thing. People seem to crave the security of a commitment and strive for the traditional family/marriage model even after a failed marriage. Not all, but many.
I for one made the best decision of my life when I decided to marry my bride of nearly 22 years four years after my divorce was final. I seriously considered never marrying again following my first marriage. I was so gun shy about marriage that I decided not to marry my wife after we had discussed it.
Then I got a call from my dad. He told me that my brother had mentioned that I was considering marrying again. I told him that I had considered it but had decided that I was not willing to ever put myself at that risk again… ever. His advice was that I was a young man (30) and I had a choice. Either go through the rest of my life with a series of partners or take another shot at building a life with someone. He also affirmed that both he and mom liked my bride very much.
My granddad also had some input on it. He told me not to sweat that my bride had a kid. He said family is family and it did not matter if the kid was “mine” (granddad was 85 at the time did not speak PC at all….. ever.) so pull my head out and get that lady.
My parents have been married for 54 years and my grandparents had been married 59 years when my granddad passed.
So, I rolled the dice.
It is the best choice I have ever made. We will celebrate our 22nd anniversary at the end of this month.
This is an awesome story,
This is an awesome story, Rags!! Love it. In my case, I was married 34 yrs before divorcing. I've been living with my SO for 6 years and we are both perfectly happy not being married. Of course we are both in our late 50's. For me, not being married provides some sort of feeling of independence. Perhaps it's following a bad marriage? But I don't feel "locked in", or smothered, as I did while married. Maybe we'll change our minds down the road, but for now? It works for us.
The beauty of experience is
The beauty of experience is that it helps us make life's every changing path work. If something were to happen to my bride or our marriage I would likely not remarry again myself. I am 52 and being an elder bachelor with in a commited relationship with an SO... or a serial monogamist would not bother me a bit.
I think that the key is ... no regrets.
Enjoy the adventure with your SO.