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BM Forgot

SMof2Girls's picture

My parents passed away when I was 16 and I had a pretty rough few years after that. Mother's Day is not a day I really care to celebrate. I don't have any biokids of my own, so I've never been real big on the "holiday".

We typically send the SDs to spend Mother's Day with their mom. Our CO is not specific on Mother's/Father's Day, so we usually offer it to her since we have the kids on Sundays. Nothing different about that this year. We've offered multiple times, and she has said "no" multiple times.

So we made plans to go to a brunch and then to my family's house for a small get-together (I have 4 siblings, all whom have children (9 in total) so Mother's Day is a bigger deal for them). The SDs love my nieces/nephews and they're all in the same general age range, so these get-togethers are like little parties for them.

BM called today saying we tried to con her out of Mother's Day and she didn't realize that it was this weekend. In our offers to her (both verbal and written) we simply refer to the day by date .. 5/13 .. as we do with EVERYTHING. I suppose we should have specified that 5/13 was Mother's Day? I don't know. She is livid though because now we have plans. I'm honestly indifferent; the girls can spend the day with her, but it's her tone and attitude that just irk me. We don't HAVE to give her the day at all .. but we probably will.

Like I said, it's a bigger deal to her than it is to me, but jeepers, no need to come at me with swords drawn ..

SMof2Girls's picture

I think DH is leaning on not letting them go now. Due to more recent events in my blog. She gets a little bug up her butt and sets about to make things as difficult as possible for him.

Is it spiteful? Sure. Is there anything she can legally do about it? Nope. Am I absolutely past the point of caring anymore? Definitely getting there.

sadSMof2's picture

we always have to brace for change at any holiday. expecting to send SD to BM this sunday we made our plans for saturday. Well BM called today in a drama fit over a family illness and she "MUST GO NOW AND TAKE SD!" on the long drive across country. what can we say? no? of course not if your parent is "truly dying" then i guess you can take her.
amazing though. we can never plan or hope for a nice holiday without drama.

I hope you have a great weekend without - we will even with the last minute changes. It just goes to show there are more people out there alike then not.

ps - this same parent dying has been dying almost every holiday for like 17 years. she must be a resiliant lady!

SMof2Girls's picture

Oh that sounds familiar. BM used the excuse "my grandfather is dying" to take the girls out of school for 2 weeks and drive to Michigan to visit her family. And that's just it .. what can you say to that? No? Show me medical records proving he's dying? Smh ..

SMof2Girls's picture

He can go to base, but because she's the military sponsor, they are obligated to follow HER instruction. He can pick them up, but that's it. He's gone rounds with them, shown them the agreement, proving he has 50/50 legal custody and they don't care.

As the day has gone on, it's gotten progressively worse. BM has actively involved the girls in the situation now. I feel sick.

SMof2Girls's picture

I understand that she's angry and bitter at the world. She's pissed her ex moved on and remarried and is blissfully happy. And she's the same over-sized, over-processed, and now aging woman with pixie short blazing red hair, fake nails, fake tan, and fake Gucci bag who can't secure a boyfriend longer than the 3 weeks it takes them to realize the complete nut job she is.

I get it. Fine.

But what kind of mother involves the kids like this?

It doesn't help that DH is working until 3am so I'm left home alone to stew on it Sad

Orange County Ca's picture

Mothers Day and Fathers Day trumps all other schedules just as Christmas would. Good on you for respecting that especially in face of her accusations. It's certainly possible she didn't look at her calendar closely and you gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Ignore the hardliners - your actions is how relations with ex's soften or harden over time.