CSMof3's picture

DCFS is coming to visit again today...

Just saying. DH has custody. BM wants to make us look bad. I think this will be their fourth or fifth visit in two years. Nothing ever becomes of BM's calls to DCFS. We live in a nice home in a nice neighborhood in a great school district. BM is now accusing me of physically abusing one of the skids. I'm just tired of it. We have nothing to hide and I've done nothing wrong. I'm just so over it.

Evil3's picture

I'm in Canada, so I don't

I'm in Canada, so I don't know where you are or how it works here, but when I worked for a similar agency here, we were well aware of the "frequent flyers," who reported their exes. Your DCFS likely is aware, but they have to check out every call. It can get to a point that BM is threatened with some kind of charge for chronically calling in false reports.

CSMof3's picture

Yes, and I think we will get

Yes, and I think we will get there eventually. It's not that they are false reports, but they are GREATLY EXAGGERATED reports. Isn't that how Hitler did it, too? A shred of truth to make the lie slightly plausible?

moving_on_again's picture

When BM attacked her SD, she

When BM attacked her SD, she had to go to court because the SD got a restraining order on her. DH also had a restraining order on BM from when she hit him and so we got to listen to the hearing. The guardian ad litem said that DFS was tired of hearing from BM and about BM. I couldn't believe she said that out loud in court! But if BM was calling DFS on us, they never once investigated us. They did come interview the kids once about a call on BM. Then the DFS worker said she would check our house but we got to talking (we are acquaintances with many of the same people due to our professions) and she forgot to even do one.

I hated that feeling of knowing BM could accuse us of anything at anytime. She either never did or they didn't buy her story.

Good luck.

blueskies4me's picture

If her accusations can

If her accusations can negatively impact your life/career/financial stability I would move out or something until the skids are 18 and permanently out

PTSD
Post-Traumatic Skid Disorder

thinkthrice's picture

Make sure you are NEVER

Make sure you are NEVER around the skids alone. I think most of us here have gone down that route where the jealous BM calls DFCS/CPS on the biodad with false accusations. This is usually done to either:

1. gain back full 100% custody for increased prizes aka child support (if it's 50/50)
2. PAS out skids (again for increased prizes)

Author of "The Guilty Parent Trap"--Amazon Kindle

StepUltimate's picture

^^This. Our BM did this to DH

^^This.

Our BM did this to DH in front of SS17 when he was 3. He now has DV on his record, and it's a LIE. Total abuse of the system, traumatized DH.

Makes me think of that Ashley Judd movie where her hubby frames her for his own murder, she serves the time, THEN pursues the crime she already paid for. My DH paid for an assault that never happened. So there's a payment coming due to BM in the afterlife, because justice WILL be done. Just hard to see innocent people get false accusations.

thinkthrice's picture

Took me almost a year to get

Took me almost a year to get the Girhippo's phoney abuse report overturned as "unfounded." The Gir worked for CPS at the time and threw her weight around to get the report run up the flagpole. She had the clerks "forget" to send us a copy of the report so we couldn't refute it.

Fortunately I caught it in time although she had already gotten Chef on the NYS child abuse and maltreatment registry.

Author of "The Guilty Parent Trap"--Amazon Kindle

moving_on_again's picture

BM was dumb enough to claim

BM was dumb enough to claim she had a witness when she claimed DV. There was an incident, she wouldn't let DH into the room to get his clothes for work so he pushed the door open while she was on the other side holding it shut. He didn't touch her. She had to drop it when the mysterious "witness" was non-existent.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Just breath. By now they have

Just breath. By now they have a clear file that shows the history of these abuse / neglect claims. They'll come in and look around like they are suppose to then move on.

If you are worried that there is ANY chance the children may cooperate with her story get nanny cams and put them all over any common space to protect yourself and your home. Avoid being alone with them like your life depends on it.

If you have proof that she is making the false claims then MAYBE seek a lawyer and see if there is any legal action you can take for the clear harassment. I don't think much would come from it but who knows.

Some days are hard but you just fight through them to get to the good ones.

Maxwell09's picture

Nanny cams. And save the

Nanny cams. And save the tapes everyday for about a year or if anything valuable is filmed (skid stealing or violent) save it forever. Better safe than sorry.

Goodluck's picture

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY.

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY.

Being violated inside your home, which IS what is going on by BM saying you abuse her kids IS awful.

It is traumatizing and can take a life time to get over. Women who do this stuff should be fined.

And you must figure out how to protect yourself or your life can be ruined IF IF IF she encourages the kids to lie about you.

The second type of triangulation is a cross-generational coalition in which one parent forms a coalition with the child against the other parent. This is the type of triangulation involved in the pathology traditionally called “parental alienation”.

CSMof3's picture

They came, they looked, they

They came, they looked, they left. This was the fourth or fifth time she has called them on us. They're always apologetic but we tell them we understand, it's fine, etc. They talked to the kids but did not ask me about the incident at all, which I thought was a little odd. They are aware that she is a frequent flyer.

hereiam's picture

They need to start fining

They need to start fining these people that make bogus calls. How frustrating.