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Munchaussen by proxy

Dc3sc2's picture

Dc3sc2's picture

Bm has been pushing for sd9 to have an adhd diagnosis and paid for the privilege however the private doctor she used hasn't given the diagnosis bm wanted and implied sd9 has anger issues instead no s**t Sherlock. Now bm is pushing sd12 for a dyslexia diagnosis, she has already been diagnosed with a form of dyslexia but because sd12 is doing pretty well at school she's not getting any extra help. Instead of speaking to the school about why she's not receiving any extra help she is paying again to have her privately diagnosed because according to her sd12 comes home from school very upset because she's struggling so much at and can't keep up with the rest of the class. I spoke to sd12 and she said she is doing absolutely fine in all classes and getting the same grades as the rest and doesn't feel like she's falling behind at all. Except in English where her teacher is nasty to all students but she thinks she would do a lot better with a different teacher. According to bm the school won't give her any help until she has another diagnosis? In uk professionals try not to label so if I child needs extra help in school they get that help whether they have a diagnosis or not and to not give extra help to a student who is struggling is actually illegal for a school. All this while she is not even trying to help her daughters number 1 on helping a child with dyslexia read more. Bm would never make sd12 read anything. Dh thinks bm is doing it for attention. If she is I can see why the school is doing nothing however if it's because she truly thinks sd12 needs help why is she not arguing with the school? 

tog redux's picture

It's now called Factitious Disorder (slighly easier to spell!). It does sound like BM likes the attention of having "special needs" kids, but it doesn't rise to the level of a disorder until she's taken it to an extreme.  Sounds like she's run into ethical professionals who won't give her the diagnosis she wants without evidence, so that's a good thing.

Dc3sc2's picture

Thankfully I don't think she would actually hurt the children for attention it's more irritating I think because my eldest who's 12 has a quite severe disability and will never be independent and she's totally just rocking life and getting on with stuff and then there's bm crying for attention for the tiniest thing. 

SeeYouNever's picture

I definitely think some parents do it for attention and because if they have a diagnosis then it's no their fault their kids are behind, it makes it the school's problem and they have an excuse for any failings.

If only they put so much work into helping their own kids rather than looking for a reason why they are behind. It's a way of maximizing benefits. If a kid gets an IEP then other social services can become available. Why do any teaching yourself if you con convince people your kid has a disorder, then you get all sorts of free tutoring to make up for your lousy parenting and a great excuse to make sure you never take the blame. 

Some kids really need help but the ones that are on the edge are likely due to poor parenting and would greatly improve with some one on one attention rather than a diagnosis.

Rags's picture

Special needs or not.... standards of behavior and performance should apply.  Quality parents make it happen regardless.