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ST Anniversary // BM’s wedding day

momjeans's picture

As of today, I’ve been on Step Talk for 2 years. Boy, does time fly.

Ironically, today is also BM’s wedding day to marry dudebro. I doubt BM getting married will change ANYTHING. I’m optimistic like that - or pessimistic - depending how you look at it. DH and I also find it strange because we’re 99% sure there will be no more children in BM’s future. Skid is enough of a cramp in her style already.

Has the BM in your life remarried? How did that work out?

Comments

I love dogs's picture

BM got knocked up 4 years ago after dating some guy a couple months. She's so "stable" because she moved SD and the new baby in with this guy within a year of knowing him. A few years before that, she cheated on DH for goodness knows how long in their 5/6 year relationship.

Recently, SD said that there is domestic violence of verbal abuse going on. The verbal abuse and yelling has gone on for at least 3 years.

I'm told that there is nothing that can be done and that BMs always win- sometimes even if they're drug addicted or severely PASing the skids. I was an idiot to marry a man with such baggage.

momjeans's picture

I feel you.

BM was a habitual cheater during their marriage. At one point she got pregnant, had an abortion, and told DH about it. Said she had “got right with god” and that DH should forgive her too. Out of the other side of her mouth, she asked DH if he thought it would be cute to give skid a sibling and have another child.

BM went on to cheat again. That time DH found out because he received an anonymous email from the guys pregnant wife.

I think dudebro is just another babysitter for BM, sadly. I don’t see them staying married long.

momjeans's picture

No, dudebro is just another babysitter at BM’s disposal.

We live far, FAR away from BM and skid.

BM is such a high conflict nutcase, she bullies people into taking skid off of her hands, so she can live a skid-free life as much as humanly possible.

I recall BM threatening her own mother and brothers with seeing skid if they didn’t bend to her will.

marblefawn's picture

You're not an idiot. You love dogs. That shows an evolved person who recognizes the master species. Smile I think you're great. And so does your dog.

I love dogs's picture

Thank you. I'm cuddling my babies as I respond. They're the only ones that get me. Why do I care so much? DH can just grin and bare it for 6 more years.. I don't understand. If I were him, I'd fight for AT LEAST equal rights that I did nothing to not have.

marblefawn's picture

You weren't in their marriage. Who knows what guilt he has or sentimental memories stopping him from challenging her.

I look at my own parents and I honestly don't know how my father hasn't killed my mother or himself. I don't know why he stays with her, how he drags himself out of bed everyday to face her, how he doesn't just take a powder to get away from her. I guess they have a history that didn't include me and maybe there's something in it that makes him feel obliged to tolerate daily, constant berating. Or maybe he's just weak.

For your husband, maybe just being divorced from his ex is such a relief that the rest doesn't matter. Maybe he's reminding himself that life is short and whatever he's losing is worth not having to engage with her or revisit traumatic, miserable times in his life that he's rather forget.

I bet your dogs have a cushy life. We needy ladies make great dog mates!!!

hereiam's picture

BM has been married 4 times since DH. It never made any difference, she was still a bitch. Luckily, we haven't had to deal with her for 8 years, now.

momjeans's picture

I think what I look forward to the most is seeing if she plays the “dudebro is skid’s REAL dad”, now card. She has tested those waters within the last year in a scathing email to DH.

BM has been vehemently against me having any sort of relationship or bond with skid since the beginning, too. So, it has been quite the comedic gold to watch her attempt to replace DH with Daddy 2.0. Dirol

marblefawn's picture

His ex-wife never remarried. It's for the best. My three encounters with her were frightening. She's unstable - diagnosed borderline personality. Remarriage would have saved him alimony. But it's better she's not married and wrecking some other man's life. My husband has faults, but on the plus side, he is the most patient, loyal and unflappable man. That he walked out on his wife and kid is shocking to me. If she had remarried, I think she'd be more unstable, and that would be bad for her and that would be bad for all of us.

momjeans's picture

My DH is similar. It wrecked him walking away from his first marriage. A small part of him feels for BM’s future husband, too.

marblefawn's picture

Maybe she'll get it right one of these marriages!

I am a different person with my husband than I was with most of the men I dated. So I think who we pair with can change us, at least on the surface. Maybe your husband's ex will find that right combination to keep it together.

My husband knew a man who courted his ex and always had such kind words for him - called him "gentle." It sounds like it would have been a bloodbath if they had married. I think on a deep level his ex knows she's not stable and knows if she's alone, she can keep it under wraps better. I respect her for that decision. And I'm damn glad she moved to the other side of the country. I saw her drive by his house a few times when we were dating and it scared me to death. I watch Lifetime movies. I know what happens!!!

lieutenant_dad's picture

Yay on 2 years!

BM is currently getting divorced...I think. One minute she is talking about how she hates him and kicked him out, then the next he is staying with her and helping her out. She has been married since shortly after her and DH divorced, but has had at least two boyfriends in that time, too. All being married/having BFs does is make her more or less flirty with DH.

And she wonders why YSS is having behavioral issues...

momjeans's picture

Thanks!

BM is the same. As much as she’d like to set DH on fire, she sure does like to pull the “We used to love one another...” creepiness.

BM is a horribly verbal and physically abusive person. I do worry about skid, and how she’ll turn out.

MrsZipper's picture

BM remarried before DH and I started dating, they have been together almost 20 years. Skids love him and considered him a second dad from the beginning meanwhile the skids made it clear in the beginning that they wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire. They are cordial to me now. He is an active grandparent with a "grandpa" name to babySGS and I'm lumped into the family friend generic "Aunt" title, not that SGS will ever be around me enough to understand who I am anyway. SF gets father's day presents, skids celebrate his birthday and his and BMs anniversary. I get a happy birthday text or card, mothers day and my anniversary are ignored. SF played a parent role at both YSD and SSs weddings, giving toasts, saying blessings, father daughter dance. I was treated like DHs wife, which would have been fine had our children not been excluded from both.

OSDs wedding website just went up. Guess who's co-officiating the wedding with the skids childhood rabbi? SF. And on our end DH had to agree to pay an exorbitant amount of money just to get our DDs on the guest list. SF has not been in the skids lives all that much longer than I have. They just took an immediate liking to him and an immediate hatred to me. It sucks.

So to answer your original question it worked out great for BM and SF.

JadeMom's picture

BM2 hasn't had a relationship move past the honeymoon stage. It takes about two years for a guy to find out how psychotic she is. (Strangely enough, "psychotic" is the exact word all of BMs exes used to describe BM...)

I don't see any more kids in her future - she can't even handle SD.

I DO see her continuing to live with/mooch off of her parents until they pass. Who knows what'll happen after that.

Maybe after CS ends and her parents pass away, she'll marry just to mooch off some poor guy.

BM1 gets around. But apparently REALLY wants another baby (older SD is 19). And she's the kind of lady who would "forget" her birth control to get what she wants.

Not sure why she'd want another kid, she still parties allllll the time and then complains about not having money for rent.

Either way, I don't see marriage in her future either. And to be honest, I really don't give a crap either way since we don't have to deal with her anymore.

notsobad's picture

BM has had two semi serious relationships. She uses them for money and when they start to complain she says they were treating her badly and she had to get out “to maintain her mental health”.

The skids haven’t liked either of the BFs, they especially hate the first one. I doubt he did anything really horrible but I’m sure she made them think he did.

I sometimes feel bad for her, she was a very attractive woman, still is for that matter. She’s used to get what she wants and being treated a certain way because of her looks. Now her looks are fading and men over 50 aren’t looking for 50 year old arm candy. They are looking for a partner and she wants to be worshipped.

She’s up to her eyeballs in debt and so I’m sure she’s on the look out for her next well paid victim. I doubt she’ll ever remarry, but she’ll definitely reel in another BF. She hates being alone.

WTF...REALLY's picture

She’s going to find it very difficult to find somebody who wants to live with her kind of crazy.

notasm3's picture

DH married BM after a ONS (she was the town bike) on a military leave. Back in those days he felt obligated to marry her. His family especially his father never thought he was the father. They were only married a few years as she cheated like crazy. Several years later after their divorce the infamous disgusting SS32 was conceived - stupid DH.

DH went on to marry a woman who I think he really loved. He does not say anything negative about her, but others have defined her as the bitch of the year. They were married for about 15 years. She'd previously been divorced from a man who left her for his secretary. But later she divorced DH to remarry her ex.

What amazes me is how little animosity DH had about this. I met him several years later. BM eventually became the most holier than thou "church lady". She is one of those people who proudly proclaims that their current purity is based on how horribly debased they were before. She eventually remarried a man who was a heroin addict who also "found the lord" and is now better than others who were not so broken.

But the good part for me is that BM's current DH is very protective of her and wants nothing to do with DH. He also thinks that SS32 is a POS who needs to be kept away from them. I agree with that.

Maxwell09's picture

BM got engaged last Christmas to fiancé#3, she posted a little bit about planning it around February then nothing. We haven’t heard a peep since. We were hoping a baby announcement by spring so there’s still hope BM’s attention will be diverted for 2018.

bananaseedo's picture

Oh gosh I have stories for days. BM turned to women after her and DH divorced-she was already seeing one before they split. She then had a series of incredibly thug, criminal, druggy, violent ugly butches in/out of living w/her and SD. Then for the last few years she's been with a guy-both of them turned into meth addicts (they met in rehab)- and have been married/divorced/re-married split/together/split so many times we lost count. They've been on/off for 3 years or so I guess?

Of course a couple years ago she lost custody of SD to DH because of the drug use. They lost house, jobs, everything-were homeless....she'd shoot up in her tit and ended w/staff...NOT kidding. Gross POS!
Her DH is worse then her w/meth- he was in a coma, he was revived, on life support, in/out of OD treatment.

They SEEM to be better now-clean at least maybe, she's working and sent 1/2 of her first CS support in 2 years-a whopping $125 lol

We don't talk about it-she's to embarrasing. She had serial relationsips all of sd's life, while we've been together for almost 9 years? We got together about 2 years after they split and about 5 years after my divorce.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

BM’s bf doesn’t believe in marriage... So she or knocked up... Still doesn’t believe in marriage... Still doesn’t do anything good or the Skids....

momjeans's picture

BM’s photographer BFF posted a horribly blurry selfie with BM on Facebook (from Instagram), announcing how BM is now off the market. A bunch of hysterical hashtags too, of course.

Yeah, that crazy town BM is such a catch. #blessed }:)

Cover1W's picture

BM is still single. Doesn't date. SDs are confused still, but maybe they finally understand what actually is meant by, 'She just goes out with girlfriends.'

LOL. The first time I met her I asked DH if she was gay. My SIL thinks she's asexual. I think she's hiding who she dates.

Don't really care either way. I don't interact with her much.

moving_on_again's picture

Bm was always better when she was dating someone she liked. Then we filed a family access order because she was withholding the skids and she married the first guy she could find. She doesn't like him but she likes his money. She lied about getting child support for years which her husband was telling anyone who would listen so we mailed proof to his job. Her getting married did not help her at all in court but she stayed with him. They've been married for probably 6-7 years now. I have heard she's been caught cheating more than once (I have no idea why anyone would even touch her) and her husband finally made her get a job. The job helps immensely. However, this marriage didn't quiet her at all because she doesn't like the poor bastard. Her husband has a big mouth and has told several people how she won't sleep with him, she sleep deprives him (that's probably better now that she has a job, he works nights), how she physically attacks him, and how he would leave her but he's afraid she'll burn the house down if he does.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

BioHo remarried 3 years ago. On my sister's birthday, no less. :O

She has a HUGE to-do. Had her hair and nails professionally done. Squeezed herself into a strapless dress (nothing like back fat, underarm fat, and upper side boob all shoving its way out of the top! Church wedding (I'm surprised she didn't catch on fire walking through the door), reception with a sit-down dinner, and a band. Oh, and a limo! She rode to the church in a limo with her bridesmaids, SDthen21 and SDthen18, Spawnthen7, and her grandson-then5. She was swigging wine straight from the 1.5 liter bottle. SDthen18 was astounded that 'Ho drank TWO BOTTLES. Not sure why...

'Ho was cheating on Mr. Pinhead less than 4 months after they "became one". :sick: :sick: :sick:
Then again, she was probably cheating on him long before the wedding.

The honeymoon didn't last. Shortly after their first anniversary, SD21 posted one of their many arguments on fakebook... 'Ho said to Mr. Pinhead "You won't f*ck me 'til you get what you want and I drink. I consider this a successful marriage."