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Hear ye, Hear ye: BM is pregnant

momjeans's picture

And I’m secretly beside myself with fricking joy that she’s going to tie herself down with another child she cannot be bothered to be a mom to - in the verb sense, not just the noun sense, being the GUBM that she is. I only found out because we share an acquaintance, and said acquaintance posted a picture on Instagram taken at BM’s baby shower.

Then again, maybe second time will be a charm and a breeze and all that jazz for her.

Also, props to her for keeping it under wraps until now, as she is due at the end of the month. That means skid must have known when she was here in December, but surely mommy dearest must have put the fear in her not to tell a soul her business. 

Looking back at the photo of her from her wedding in January, she did have a humongous bridal flower arrangement strategically centered right in front of her belly, but woah, she was quite far along even then. 

And come to think of it... she was exactly as far along as she was when she married DH. 



I love dogs's picture

SD didn't tell us about BM's pregnancy a few years ago. I'm sure she was told not to (definitely a BM move, but why would we care anyway?) and SF let it slip out at SD's "meet the teacher" day. BM was about 5 months then and we never would've guessed- she's not even fat! The baby was a preemie and BM lives on coffee and cigarettes so she didn't gain much. That poor kid. 

momjeans's picture

nengooseus - like most high-conflict GUBM’s, BM’s business is strictly her business, and my and DH’s business is her business. Ha! 

nengooseus's picture

Most recently, it was that she's divorcing her DH and SD13 is supposed to keep her secret, not just from DH (because he's so ridiculous, according to her), but also from SS8.5 and her stepsister with STBX.  SS will be devastated about their split, as BM has spent the last 6 years filling his head with how awful DH is and how amazing her STBX is. 

And, to ice the cake, STBX is referenced all over in their CO, so we have to develop a new one and BM isn't responding. 

GUBMs are the worst!

theoldredhen's picture

Yo Hon,

You've changed that avatar so many times that it's giving me a nosebleed! 

Hmmmmm... Not great news about BM. With a needy infant cramping her style, she'll be keen to dump SD on you and your DH more than ever. The new one can't be shuffled off to your MIL/FIL.

Then again, those two are just crazy Crazy enough that they might take on the infant because it'll be the sister/brother of yon sacred  SD. 

I got a good chuckle out of the ~humongous bridal flower arrangement~ in front of her expanding tummy; it's also amazing what can be done with a good Spanx body shaper.

How's it going in the new home? All organized and settled in?

momjeans's picture

Sorry red, couldn’t resist my littles feet in unicorn shoes. Horns and all! 

Thank goodness we live on the other side of the U.S., far FAR away from BM and her shenanigans - but, you’re correct - BM would expect us to drop what we’re doing to have skid at a moments notice, in order for her to get her out of her hair. This is one of those life events I’m doing the happy dance we live so far away. 

Im sure skid will go on and on and on about her new baby brother and her beautiful mom, when she graces us with her 2.5 month summer visit. Maybe not, though.

And you are correct! My MIL would play babysitter for BM, without hesitation. Another instance I’m happy that we all live away from BM and dudebro.

MIL lives to please and kiss booty with all the wrong people in life. 

theoldredhen's picture

Hey Hon,

I checked out those Asher unicorn shoes; couldn't make them out on your teeny avatar. Too cute but the horn is doomed. 

Your dippy inlaws, although incredibly frustrating Dash 1 are also rather entertaining. They are so far beyond the pale with their antics that one almost looks forward to the next installment. Rather like 'Twit.' Poor you!

notsobad's picture

It’s another way to PAS the kids. 

“Don’t tell daddy, he’ll be sad/hurt/angry/upset that mommy is having another baby but not with him.”

BM here told the skids to not tell DH about her first BF because “You know how jealous dad is, he’d stop giving us money if he knew I was dating. He thinks we’ll get back together one day.”

They know the truth now, DH doesn’t give 2 shites about BMs life, never mind her love life! It didn’t change the way they think about BM, she’s still the smartest, most loving, giving person they know!

momjeans's picture

I didn’t even think of it from that angle - thanks.

BM has always been super secretive, and held skid from a very early age to “not tell daddy.” Which is weird, because same here, DH gives zero, nada thought or energy or care to what BM does.

My MIL pulls the same crap with skid, too, while she’s here for visitation. On top of her unhealthy bond with skid, she pulls the whole “don’t tell your mom, or else...” regarding some things. I’ll never forget when my BIL’s Ex fiancé told me she witnessed MIL tell skid she couldn’t tell BM that FIL got a DUI with a child endangerment charge (with skid in the car). Many have stated that skid is going to need a lot of therapy one day, because of all the toxic and manipulative people in her life. 

notsobad's picture

There’s a thing to protect kids from molestation. It’s about not keeping secrets but keeping surprises.

Kids learn that nothing is ever a secret, they can tell their parents anything. Doesn’t matter what another adult has told them, secrets are bad and there is nothing they can’t share.

However, you can keep a surprise. So you don’t tell if there is a surprise birthday party or what you bought for a present. 

Google it for more info on how to present it to kids in age appropriate ways. 

Now a bad parent can twist that and say don’t tell, I’m going to surprise daddy with the baby, but there’s nothing you can do about that. And of course you have to figure out what you’re going to do with any information that comes your way, if you do anything at all.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

We're hoping Bm will have her kid and leave us completely alone... Maybe yours will do the same? Since she moved back in with the druggie and got preggo ours has been pretty dang absent.

Of course there was also this "that poor unborn child and it's unfortunate genetics" moment... Ours didn't keep it under wraps, she wanted the WHOLE DANG WORLD to know... Needed all the attention... MIL even said she has people commenting on her fakebook about how she's "going to love being a new mom." Cuz you know, she doens't have two she already abandoned or anything...

momjeans's picture

Oh goodness, what a train wreck. 

By all outward appearances, BM seems to have repeated what she pulled with DH. Which is - get pregnant, and trap someone into marriage, because of course, BM would never have a child out of wedlock, being the perfect Christian that show is...

Hopefully, she’ll work hard at not reliving the same middle and ending as she did with DH.

BM was a habitual cheater, even getting pregnant with a married man’s baby, aborting, dumping skid on DH for days and days and days once he moved out, begging DH to take her back once he moved on (because she “Made good with god”). Blah, blah, blah. 


ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Bhaha, a serial cheater "making good with god." Does that mean they got their legs surgically tied for good to prevent that?

It is outward appearance! And Bm getting pregnant was an attempt to convince her bf that doesn't believe in marriage that he needs to marry her, so far no go. LMAO 

Gotta love all these woman who think getting pregnant is such a great idea to trap a man, makes you wonder if they ever think anything through, or if they truly think the kid is just going to vanish once they get what they want...

Simpleton21's picture

Ha, I have been secretly wishing that BM would get pregnant until I read old red hen's comment and realized that if she did get pregnant she prob would use it as an excuse to pawn SD off on us even more.  BM has already started doing that more now that she has a new bf.  You are lucky you live far away and can enjoy this from a distance!!!!


momjeans's picture

We could always tell when BM had a new “friend” in her life, by how much she pawned skid off on DH, BM’s Mom, BM’s brothers, skid’s friends parents, drop-in childcare facilities. 

BM isn’t really Mom material, so this will be interesting to watch unfold. Parenting a young child is trying and exhausting, like we all know, and BM just can’t hang with that life choice. Her borderline personality disorder issues rear their head when she’s overwhelmed with mothering, too, so it could very well be a slow death for her marriage.

Yeah, be careful what you wish for. I’m literally doing the happy dance, daily, knowing we are FAR away from her to be her drop-in sitter. Whew! 

Simpleton21's picture

Yeah, after old red hen made that valid point and the fact that BM is now more than willing to pawn SD off I am no longer wishing for this! LOL!  Now I just hope she gets fat ;)  

SO is so dumb he didn't even make the connection that BM who was so overly protective and wouldn't allow me or my parents or anyone on SO's side of the family watch SD before and now all of the sudden was okay with me and my family and his family to watch her directly correlated with her new bf and her wanting to be free.  I think she is probably now dealing with what I dealt with when I first met SO.  SD constantly interupting and seeking attention and being super annoying to get attention.  She can't handle it!

Funny cause BM called me a "part time parent" when we first met b/c I was one of those crazy moms that believed dads had rights to the kids also so I shared my time with my ex.  Now she is the part time parent and I have both of mine 24/7 (due to my ex making poor decisions and me changing custody as soon as I realized what ex was doing).  Anyways, I would LOVE to throw that comment back in her face!

theoldredhen's picture

Well, momjeans, it looks like your SD will be developing her maternal instincts in short order. She'll need to grow up fast since BM, like many indifferent mothers, will be shuffling off her maternal responsibilites to her older child.

I was a diaper changing pro at nine years of age as well as at feeding, burping and rocking my baby sister. I'll bet the farm that SD will become equally proficient.


momjeans's picture

Red, I was slow making that connection, but it came to me this morning in a “Oh snap! Skid is going to be fetching and changing diapers, feeding, burping, bathing, and babysitting!”

That BM. Always thinking. Haha.