SO's birthday is next weekend
We have his girls next weekend also but the 17 yr old is still not speaking to him. I had already expressed that she isn't welcome in our home until she changes and sincerely apologizes. Last night he said he hopes she would come for his bday weekend although he's not holding his breath. I don't think she will but what if she does want to come? I don't want her there. More than not liking her, I don't trust her. Last night, he also made my son a steak sub and I commented on how good he was to my kids and he says, of course - I love them. I feel so guilty inside cause I just cannot love that girl. Anyway - what if she wants to come? Should I let her? Probably worrying about nothing......
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Good idea....I might have to
Good idea....I might have to let him take both girls out on his own. I find it really hard to be around her and he knows that.
Then again, sometimes we are
Then again, sometimes we are around people we dislike just because we have to do so.
I wouldn't look at it as tolerating her for HER sake... but as a gift to your DH that his birthday is relatively drama free.
He will appreciate you being the bigger person.
Unless there is a danger to
Unless there is a danger to your home.. I don't like the idea of banning minor children from your home... that is also their father's home. I understand not enjoying time spent with an unhappy. I understand she has been particularly bratty and has been a bit sneaky with her BF.. also has not warmed to you (two way street I am seeing here).
There are some things going on such as your SO not actually being divorced etc.. that probably feed into this whole mess.
My advice would be to not try to prevent her from coming.. (but don't facilitate it by begging her to come). If she shows and it makes her dad happy then.. it's his kid..ya know? If she disappoints him yet again.. you can just say how sorry you are that he feels disappointed and that maybe in time his daughter will realize how she can hurt other people's feelings.
Ditto, especially on the
Ditto, especially on the minor child issue.
I am putting up with the skids but the day they turn 18 things are changing. SS turns 18 in 40 days. SD in 15 months and 5 days.
To answer a few questions
To answer a few questions from the posts above, I will tell you this - when I first met her, I didn't particularly care for her disposition but felt she was a really intelligent girl. She took to me right away - referred to me as her stepmom (when talking to her friends) almost immediately. It was too soon and I was uncomfortable. But for the most part, we got along fine. I actually have fun with her when she's acting right. Over the past 3 yrs, she's had her falling outs with her dad but still would talk to me when she saw me except for last year, when she ignored me too. She tried to commit suicide early last year. Now, I take those things very seriously but I also believe she didn't mean to actually do it. While in the adolescent psych hospital, we visited often and she walked around like queen bee..it was like she was in overnight camp. When she did this - she hated her mother, wanted nothing to do with her, said the reason she made the attempt was that she didn't want to live with her mom. At the end of her stay, she was moved to another facility in another city abt 1 1/2 hrs away. Her dad couldn't visit the first weekend because of his work hours but was planning to. She stopped talking to him. She came home to visit a few weekends after, he was told to stay away. Its been downhill since. Other relatives have told me she has stolen from them. She has BAD judgment - I couldn't even list all the things she's done. She's a mouthy, know-it-all and doesn't want to listen to anyone. If she wasn't his kid, I would've cut her out my life long ago.