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Im annoyed

Ladystark's picture

How do these kids hide behaviors around other adults??

I know school there is not much one on one time, but certain parents, how does ss make it through without arguing, having last word, with another adult??

Ss13 will argue with dh and I over small dum crap.

The other day i told mil he likes BLACK clothes, favors them, he over heard me, and said NO i like DARK clothes- uh thanks ss because MIL will totally get that... he only has black skinny jeans, and mainly wears black, yes the few times you wear DARK BLUE -oops my bad! Just burn me at the steak...

He argues with dh all the time, and with his history- adults are friends- and MIL including him in adult matters, i dont understand how noone else sees it!!

I know his therapist sees it(a little) , as she is an enemy to him..lol. so he argues with her... but she also helps with his hw stuff soo thats a mark against her.

But in school, i just cant believe he has not argued with anyone!! Like are they crazy? Last year dh wrote his french teacher asking about his poster(since he lost directions) she wrote back then added how great and funny he is! He always comes in with a smile...ughhh... dh could not wait to shove that in my face and make me read it....im sure if she lived with ss he would not be so funny anymore...since EVERYTHING IS A JOKE, AND HE HAS TO BE SARCASTIC ALLTHE TIME.

I know kids are different around other people, but it just be nice one time to hear someone say something about his mouth.

Maybe im evil...maybe im crazy?!

Or maybe my rose colored glasses need to be updated...i dont know...it just be nice to not be the only person he irritates.

I know the teachers are not going to flat out say "oh by the way your kid is super annoying." Lol. Or a parent telling me oh we dont want your kid back here..lol. i know that....it just be nice to have someone else say something to dh thats not all glittery...

Comments

strugglingSM's picture

My SSs totally act differently around DH than they do around other people.

For example, they will scream and cry and say "why don't you love me dad?!" in public as long as no one else is in ear shot. As soon as any other person comes close enough to hear them, they stop and pretend as if they aren't bothered at all. DH has called them out on that one.

Also, one of the teachers told DH that SS - who is a manipulative, histrionic, mean baby at times - was "a pill" at school sometimes, so he's not always good at hiding it, either. BM, of course, thinks he's a perfect angel and anyone who criticizes him just "doesn't understand him." Sometimes, he's been having a meltdown around DH or saying mean things and I just walk away, because I can't deal with his behavior and I know no matter what helpful tips I offer, he will never change because BM thinks he's perfect in every way.

Puzzled9401's picture

Teachers are under a lot of pressure to sugar coat everything for parents lest some motivated, overbearing, "don't you DARE say anything about my precious snowflake" parent come in and b!tch to the principal about something they said. In the old days teachers flat out told parents when their child was a pain in the @$$, but now they have to watch every word that comes out of their mouth. Honestly I have no idea who in their right mind would want to be a teacher today... low pay, scapegoating, dealing with a bunch of narcissistic kids and their helicopter parents, unpaid overtime, trying to force an apathetic generation to perform well on tests so you don't get fired....probably why shortages are popping up around the country.

Acratopotes's picture

Nope skids act differently in front of other people, ...

It's very simply, they are 2 faced and hide their real personalities, at home the are bratty and evil, but at school they are so sweet... why if your snow flakes goes to a teacher and complains about the evil SM at home, the teacher will immediately take the snow flake's side and SM will be gossiped about in the teachers tea room ... cause snow flake is such a good kid in school, so friendly and helpful...

Same with family not living in the same town, snow flake has the best manners and are so polite and eager to help clearing dishes blablabla... thus SM looks like the bad one again,

I stopped pestering snow flake at home, she kept on pushing my buttons but I kept my cool and kept a stupid grin on my face... see if you give them enough rope they hang themselves, Aergia tried so hard to get me to angry she forgot about her fake personality in front of teachers and friends and she showed her true colors... Now teachers dislike her allot I assume cause I get stopped in town and asked, how did you survive that.... her cousins apologized to me for being rude to me, cause they thought I was evil, they never realized she was playing them... that poor poor girl stuffed up her whole support network and only has BM now... and I still do not care.... even her dear Daddy is seeing her for what she is and asked me.. when did this happen, I smiled and said since she was 13, but you never parented her, now she's 18 - nothing you can do about it, you caused her to get away with it, you caused this simply because you never parented and always believed her side of the story... now it's too late to do anything...