More updates
It has been over a week now in my place. I got some more furniture and I am starting to feel somewhat more comfortable there.
My friend couldn't keep my dog; I think he was too high energy and she is overwhelmed with all of her kids as it is. He went to another home, a couple with a 10 year old son who live on 3 acres. They sent me a couple of updates and he seems to be doing well. Although they were not my first choice, they seem like decent people. I am definitely grieving over the loss of my boy.
EX is a hysterical mess. Still is not in rehab, he claims there are no open beds. He has sent paragraphs upon paragraphs apologizing to not only me, but my close friends and my parents. It is just bizarre. He literally went from not giving a single f*ck about me, to being in absolute hysterics over losing me. You all warned me it would happen.
I am going on a date Thursday, with someone I know I am not remotely romantically interested in. I have been asked out by a few guys and declined, but I feel like getting out of my apartment this week. Even if it is just for dinner with someone I will likely never go out with again.
I started an at home workout routine which I am going to attempt to do every night this week. I feel like I am finding my footing again.
- AJanie's blog
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Good for you girl! Working
Good for you girl! Working out is a great way to get your endorphins running in a positive direction.
I know it's hard but right now, I think that you should try to cut the cord with the ex. In a way, you have a bit of an addiction too in that it is easy to get that "high" from someone needing you. It makes us feel valued and important. In his case, it's just dependency not a real value that he places on you. Try to keep first and foremost in your mind that he has continued to not respect you. I mean, has he opened up that backpack of money to repay you? I'm guessing NOT. Lots of crocodile tears and lip service but no real or meaningful actions. If he wants to get straight, he won't wait for an "open bed" to work on his sobriety.
So... bottom line, you need to cauterize him from your life.
I'm glad you found a nice home for the pup. It sounds like it may be a really good fit with the less hectic household.
And.. good for you for going out on a date... getting out there and enjoying yourself with friends and meeting new people is important and will re-expand your circle of support.
We are rooting for ya!
Thanks for the update AJ,
Thanks for the update AJ, glad you have taken so much positive aftion, even though it's hard & painful too. Your posts are very encouraging!
Most have gone unread. In
Most have gone unread. In moments of weakness I read some. I am doing a decent job ignoring thus far!
Good suggestion I will look into having them go to a folder...
Working out = good Going out
Working out = good
Going out = good. It's actually good, at first, to go out with people you know you won't get hung up on. You need a break from emotional, romantic, sexual relationships, while still socializing. You need to do YOU and know that YOU are enough. Then, you can find love again...because you want it, not because you need it.
Home for dog = good
Contact with ex = bad. He.will.bring.you.down. There's nothing that addicts love more than having someone at the bottom with them. They like to share. Share their addiction and dependency, share their misery, share the blame. He will continue to run hot/cold, apologizing one minute, calling you a c^nt the next. He WILL mess with your emotional state. Cut him out.
You are doing great and will continue to do great.
Good for you for being happy
Good for you for being happy and doing you. This crying and whining from him is just a phase, soon he'll move on to the angry phase and everything will be your fault. But you know better.
***He actually JUST emailed
***He actually JUST emailed that he was picked up and is on his way to inpatient rehab. So I assume he will not be able to contact anyone for some time.
Don't reply... just let him
Don't reply... just let him know that you aren't hanging around waiting for his messages. Just let it sit.
THIS!! Set to: IGNORE!!
THIS!! Set to: IGNORE!!
You need to ignore this and
You need to ignore this and any future contact. You are going to have to be the strong one because he is not going to be, rehab or not. He does not want you to be free of him.
I really think you need nar-anon, to give you support in this area.
Keep up the good work of
Keep up the good work of finding your footing. Your ex is now on his journey to find his footing. Keep ignoring him and let him be. Your focus is you. You got this.
good update AJ - glad you are
good update AJ - glad you are doing well..... and yes start living and enjoying life again.
never lower your standards again,