Update/Clarification on my last post
Since there was a lot of confusion with my last post, I wanted to clarify some things. My SO's parents did not come back because they were tired of watching the kids. They were planning on staying here for the entire 2 weeks until school started. They constantly hovered around the kids while they were outside, herding the kids around while they were outside. They got irritated that the kids wanted to stay inside and play with their own toys that they haven't been able to play with for the 5 weeks that they were gone. SO's dad usually doesn't have an exact date, but has never left without at least a 24 hour notice first. Getting a 24 hour notice before leaving would have been a lot better for everyone, including and especially the kids.
It was a huge help that they took the kids for the summer and we are grateful that they kept them for as long as they did. However, they also feel "entitled" to have the kids during the summer. Before they even came to get them, they were complaing that if the kid's mother got them for the first 6 weeks of the summer, that their time would be cut short. There is a 99% chance that they would be really irriated if my SO told them that they couldn't take them next summer.
There also weren't that many rules, and some of them were only supposed to be for a couple days. We wanted to waterproof seal the new back steps as soon as possible because they are in the sun all day long, some of them already started to crack slightly. GM couldn't seem to understand this. She also doesn't know how to show by example, and was trying to get the kids to do things their father asked them not to do. On Thursday, she sat on the steps and said to the kids out of nowhere "I know I'm not supposed to be sitting here, but I am clean. I can't do anything around here." She was not told she couldn't do anything around here, she was just asked not to do 3 simple things (don't tap on their window for them to come outside, not to tell them to go get the mail, and not tell the kids they could do something that their father told them not to). Since they left thursday, we were finally able to get the steps clean and dry without the kids even trying to go near them, and we didn't even have to tell them again. The kids can listen about not doing some stuff if it is something that they don't really care to do to begin with.
As for the rules that were "too strict" for the kids, ever since the GP's left, none of those rules have been an issue. They haven't been wanting to go outside even when they were told that they could. When they go outside, they actually like using their reusable bottles.
As for my SO not wanting them to take their piggy banks/money in their room. There was a few reasons for that. Their money wasn't in their piggy banks at the time. The one that got moved was the one that the lid wasn't sealed on. They had no idea if that change was theirs or not, and which bin belonged to whom. We have our air vents in the floor, and there are no screens or anything to prevent things from falling down in them to where we wouldn't be able to get them back. We still need to get screens for the vents so that they don't have to worry about losing their small toys in the vents as well. We really don't want $40 or $80 worth of change sitting inside the air vents if they aren't careful with their change. The kids have also talked about wanting to save up for more expensive items, but then other times they just want to spend their money on random things that kids like. My SO wanted to sit them both down and talk to them about money, ask them if they wanted him to put some of their money up so that it is safe from getting lost. Start trying to teach them the value of a dollar and all that fun stuff.
As for GM, she was not pleasant to me the entire time, even though I never said anything mean to her, and I let her have her space. SO and GF know that she can be a handful and sometimes ignore her when she gets in one of her moods. She was saying things in front of the kids that they didn't need to hear. She was telling the kids how awful I am, even though the kids have no issue with me when she is not around (and also when their mother isn't lying to them about me). She was making rude comments to me and in front of me just to get under my nerves. On Thursday, she had a lot of comments. Also, as soon as the kids went outside she sent them over to me to ask if I would be watching them in the pool, that neither of them would be watching the kids today. I was outside at the time, she could have came over and asked me herself. After that, she kept sending the kids inside about 4 more times to ask if they could get in the pool. She knew that I wouldn't want to be outside watching them as long as she was outside constantly making rude comments to me/about me. She hurt the kids by reminding them/telling them to ask me. She knows I work from home and I can't just watch the kids in the pool whenever she feels it is the right time. If she was that worried about the kids getting in the pool, she could have watched them. If she doesn't want to watch them in the pool, that is fine too; just don't keep reminding the kids about it/have them come ask me every 30 minutes. Since they left, the kids haven't been asking me as much because they know that I have work I need to do, and that when I can take a break, I will let them know I will watch them in the pool. Even my SO was irritated about a lot of her comments.
I have never been mean to her, I have never said anything mean to her. I have been pleasant to her while she was here. The only thing I have done that she thought was wrong was turning on our front lamp post without coming out to ask them if it was okay. I have tried being nice to her even though I don't like her for the kids. If she has an issue with me, she should come to me with those issues, not go to the kids and complain. As soon as they got here, the younger son asked me why me and her don't like each other. he never would have known anything about the issues if it wasn't for her talking about it/saying things to them. She was purposely crossing SO's rules and boundaries because she thought they were my rules, and was doing everything she could to break what she thought were my rules and to try to irriate me even more.
Meanwhile, the kids are having trouble adjusting to being back home with their father. The younger son keeps having accidents in his pants. Something that he had no issues with months before they left, except for when he was sick. When he gets stressed out, or feels pulled between the adults in his life, or just getting used to changes, he has more accidents. But nothing like the amount and times that he has been having this past week. We were trying to slowly get them back onto their schedules while the grandparents were still here so that they didn't have to deal with a changing schedule, the grandparents leaving, and the unnecessary drama from GM all at the same time. SO asked her to follow some things because he knows what the kids need to be able to adjust. It didn't help that she then told them to do the exact opposite, being torn between who they should be listening to and which rules to follow. It doesn't matter if she doesn't agree with some of the things, but she should still respect what their father said. If she had an issue with it, she should have talked to SO at the time instead of just doing what she wanted after he left. The older son is having problems adjusting as well.